


Disaster Squad

by Melosin



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Asexual Pidge | Katie Holt, Autistic Keith (Voltron), Bilingual Lance (Voltron), Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Bisexual Matt Holt, Bisexual Shiro (Voltron), Brogane, Chatting & Messaging, Cuban Lance (Voltron), Everyone is LGBT+, F/M, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Gay Keith (Voltron), Gender-Neutral Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Group chat, Hunk (Voltron) Has Anxiety, Keith & Shiro (Voltron) are Adoptive Siblings, Keith has Social Anxiety, Keith has prosopagnosia, Lactose Intolerant Keith (Voltron), Lance (Voltron) Has Anxiety, Lesbian Pidge, M/M, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pansexual Allura (Voltron), Pansexual Hunk (Voltron), Shiro (Voltron) Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Texting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-16
Updated: 2019-05-31
Packaged: 2019-06-11 14:17:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 35,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15317295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melosin/pseuds/Melosin
Summary: Pidge added Keith, Shiro, Lance, Hunk, Matt and Allura to Disaster squadPidgeon : sup fuckersLanceyLance : I don't know half of these people but I approve this group chatOr ; Pidge make a group chat with all of her friends and it's a disaster.





	1. The beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A group chat and the rest is chaos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith : Knife™  
> Lance : Lanceylance  
> Hunk : Sunshine  
> Pidge : Pidgeon, Gremlin  
> Shiro : SpaceDad  
> Matt : Doormatt  
> Allura : SpaceZelda
> 
>  
> 
> Disaster squad : Keith, Lance, Hunk, Pidge, Shiro, Matt, Allura  
> School memers : Lance, Hunk, Pidge
> 
>  
> 
> There will be other group chats and other characters in the next chapters !
> 
> If you have idea for the nicknames of other characters (even characters who already have a nickname, they will probably change !) I'm open to suggestions !

**Pidge added Keith, Shiro, Lance, Hunk, Matt and Allura to Disaster squad**

**Pidge changed their name to Pidgeon**

**Pidgeon changed Keith's name to Knife™**

**Pidgeon changed Shiro's name to SpaceDad**

**Pidgeon changed Matt's name to Doormatt**

**Pidgeon changed Allura's name to SpaceZelda**

**Lance changed their name to LanceyLance**

**LanceyLance changed Hunk's name to Sunshine**

 

 **Pidgeon :** sup fuckers

 **LanceyLance :** I don't know half of these people but I approve this group chat

 **LanceyLance :** Pidgeon !! I didn't know you had so much friends !!

 **Pidgeon :** fuck off I have plenty of friends

 **SpaceDad :** Language, Pidge

 **SpaceDad :** And Why is my name Space Dad ?

 **Pidgeon :** Because you act like a dad and you're a space nerd

 **SpaceDad :** Not true

 **Pidgeon :** Ask Keith

 **SpaceDad :** Keith is in class like you should be, Pidge

 **SpaceDad :** Not on your phone

 **Knife™ :** That would be assuming I'm not on my phone in class

 **SpaceDad :** KEITH

 **Knife™ :** But seriously Pidge why

 **Pidgeon :** I was bored

 **Pidgeon :** Plus it's monday I need distraction from class

 **Knife™ :** Fair enough

 **SpaceZelda :** Pidge !! I haven't talked to you in ages ! How are you ?

 **Pidgeon :** I'm good but Sendak is a dick

 **Pidgeon :** Actually I made this group chat because I wanted to focus on something else that this homophobic excuse of a teacher

 **Doormatt :** I'm so glad I'm not in high school anymore I had Sendak for 4 fucking years that was hell

 **Doormatt :** And Pidge I hope you know I'm going to spam this chat with memes

 **LanceyLance :** OOOH THIS IS GOING TO BE A MEME CHAT I LOVE IT

 **Doormatt :** I don't know you but I like you

 **Pidgeon :** I knew I shouldn't introduce you two

 **Pidgeon** : Anyway where's Hunk ?

 **LanceyLance :** He's trying to pay attention in class

 **LanceyLance :** Want me to disturb him ?

 **Pidgeon :** Yes please I want the whole squad here

 **SpaceDad :** No don't do this

 **SpaceDad :** Let the poor guy study

 **Sunshine :** Pidge please tell me why is Lance poking my back and saying “check your phone” over and over

 **Sunshine :** Tell me it's something serious and not you finding a new cryptid or Lance meme-ing

 **SpaceDad :** Why nobody's listening to me

 **Pidgeon :** Well actually I just wanted to bother all my friends here

 **Sunshine :** I don't even know half of these people here ?

 **LanceyLance :** I said the same thing lmao

 **SpaceZelda :** Well I don't know everybody neither so why not introducing ourselves ?

 **SpaceZelda :** I'll start if you want !

 **SpaceZelda :** My name is Allura Altea, I own the Paladin's Cafe with my uncle Coran and my pronouns are she/her ! Also I also love my boyfriends Matt and Shiro !

 **Doormatt :** <3

 **SpaceDad :** <3

 **SpaceZelda :** <3

 **Pidgeon :** Disgusting

 **Pidgeon :** Everybody already know me but I'm Pidge, I'm a freshman and today I use she/her pronouns but sometimes I use They/them depends on my mood

 **Pidgeon :** Next

 **LanceyLance :** The name's Lance ! He/Him, Junior, I love space and everything ocean-related !

 **LanceyLance :** Also I'm bilingual and bisexual ! Hunk, you're next !

 **Sunshine :** I'm Hunk, junior, male pronouns, I love cooking and I'm trying to pay attention in class right now

 **SpaceDad :** I guess I'm next

 **SpaceDad :** My name is Takashi Shirogane, but please call me Shiro, and I use male pronouns too. I'm working at the Paladin's Cafe with Allura and Matt, Keith's my little bro, and I really think everybody should follow Hunk's example and focus on classes

 **Doormatt :** I'm Matt, Shiro's and Allura's awesome boyfriend, Pidge's older brother and don't listen to Shiro guys !! When he was in high school he was on his phone all the time

 **SpaceDad :** Matthew Holt.

 **Knife™ :** Why did I read that with the dad voice™

 **SpaceDad :** The what now

 **Knife™ :** The dad voice™

 **Knife™ :** You know the voice you use when you're being a dad

 **Pidgeon :** Told you you act like a dad

 **SpaceDad :** I don't act like a dad ! I'm only 25 !

 **Knife™ :** Yeah sure

 **Knife™ :** Anyway I'm Keith, Junior, He/Him and I'm not here to socialize

 **Pidgeon :** That's why you don't have friends

 **Knife™ :** I have friends !

 **Pidgeon :** Yeah sure you know me since I'm like 8, Shiro's your brother and Matt  & Allura are his partners so they don't count

 **Pidgeon :** So basically you have only me

 **Knife™ :** You forgot Romelle and Bandor

 **Pidgeon :** Yeah but I never saw them and you said they moved to another city so they don't count

 **Knife™ :** You know what

**Knife™ changed Pidgeon's name to Gremlin**

**Gremlin :** I'm going to hack into your phone and ruin your social life

 **Knife™ :** You just said I don't have a social life

 **Gremlin :** True

 **SpaceDad :** Pidge's right Keith, you need new friends

 **Knife™ :** Shut up you're not my real dad

 **SpaceDad :** Just pay attention in class, Keith

 **SpaceDad :** And you too, Lance. Don't think I forgot you're here.

 **LanceyLance :** >:(

 

**School memers**

**LanceyLance :** Pidge please tell me the Keith in the group chat is not Keith Kogane

 **Gremlin :** Yes he is, why ? You know him ?

 **LanceyLance :** HE'S MY RIVAL

 **LanceyLance :** I HATE HIM

 **Gremlin :** Why ?

 **LanceyLance :** During freshman  & Sophomore years I tried to talk to him but he kept ignoring me and having better grades than me and he just has the attitude of an asshole

 **Sunshine :** Lance has a crush on him since freshman and he's bitter because Keith never remember him so he started a 'rivalry' with Keith but I'm pretty sure Keith doesn't even know that because Lance never told him and he keep starting fights with him

 **LanceyLance :** HUNK

 **LanceyLance :** I DON'T HAVE A CRUSH ON KEITH HE'S AN ASSHOLE

 **Sunshine :** I have screenshots of you saying otherwise

 **LanceyLance :** ouadjsqlkjdoialjjfzke

 **Gremlin :** OMFG REALLY ??

 **Gremlin :** HOW WAS I NOT AWARE OF THAT THAT'S GOLDEN

 **Gremlin :** I'M WHEEZING

 **Gremlin :** SHIT I FORGOT ABOUT SENDICK

 **Gremlin :** I'm turning my phone off but Lance I'm not done with you

 **LanceyLance :** Hunk what did you do

 **Sunshine :** I'm sorry Lance but it's painful to see you pining but now you have an occasion to talk to him ! That's great !

 **LanceyLance :** That's not great and I don't want to talk to him he's an jerk

 **Sunshine :** Sometimes I forget how stubborn you are

 

**LanceyLance > Sunshine**

**LanceyLance :** You're dead to me

 **Sunshine :** Oh really ? I have handmade cookies for lunch

 **LanceyLance :** Hunk you're a ray of sunshine I love you

 **Sunshine :** Thought so

 

**Gremlin > Knife™**

**Gremlin :** Keith I HAVE to know something

 **Gremlin :** Keith

 **Gremlin :** Answer me bitch

 **Gremlin :** KEITH

 **Gremlin :** KEITH THIS IS AN EMERGENCY

 **Knife™ :** What what happened were you abducted by aliens

 **Gremlin :** I would love to but no

 **Gremlin :** This is still a life or death question

 **Knife™ :** Spill

 **Gremlin :** Do you know Lance Mcclain

 **Knife™ :** As in the Lance in the group chat ? No, why ?

 **Gremlin :** Are you sure ? I think he was in some of your classes last years

 **Gremlin :** Tall, brown skin  & hair, loud, kind-of class clown ?

 **Knife™ :** Pidge you know I never pay attention to people in my class

 **Knife™ :** And there are a lot of loud tall guys with brown skin in school

 **Knife™ :** And because of my prosopagnosia if I saw him I would probably not recognize him even if I already talked to him anyway

 **Knife™ :** Why ?

 **Gremlin :** hmmm for nothing

 **Gremlin :** Thanks for answering ! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **Knife™ :** You're scaring me sometimes

 **Gremlin :** Oh btw you want to eat with Hunk, Lance and me at lunch ?

 **Gremlin :** You never eat with us and now that I made the group chat you're going to be in our school squad

 **Knife™ :** Uuuh I don't know ? I mean I don't know these people and you know I'm not comfortable around new people

 **Gremlin :** So you prefer eat alone

 **Knife™ :** Actually yeah

 **Gremlin :** UGH fine but I want you to eat with us when you'll know them better

 **Gremlin :** Lance is a bit weird but he's a really cool guy and Hunk is a literal angel

 **Knife™ :** If you say so

 **Gremlin :** Want to go cryptid hunting on saturday ?

 **Knife™ :** Are you really asking ? Because you already know my answer

 **Knife™ :** Yes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the ones who don't know, prosopagnosia (or face blindness) is when you can't remember other's people faces (it's blurry/fuzzy in your memory). I headcanon Keith with it so here it is :)  
> I do not have prosopagnosia so feel free to tell me if I say something wrong !
> 
> Also I only do that for fun, but tell me if I offend somebody or a group of person !


	2. Handcuffs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nyma, a tree, and Lance is a bi disaster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith : Knife™  
> Lance : Lanceylance  
> Hunk : Sunshine  
> Pidge : Pidgeon, Gremlin  
> Shiro : SpaceDad  
> Matt : Doormatt  
> Allura : SpaceZelda
> 
>  
> 
> Disaster squad : Keith, Lance, Hunk, Pidge, Shiro, Matt, Allura  
> School memers : Lance, Hunk, Pidge

**Disaster squad**

**LanceyLance :** GUYS I NEED HELP

 **LanceyLance :** LIKE HELP RIGHT NOW

 **Gremlin :** I saw you flirt with that girl I don't want to get involved in romance 

**LanceyLance :** PIDGE I'M SERIOUS

 **Sunshine :** What happened Lance ? Are you ok ?

 **LanceyLance :** HUNK YOU RAY OF SUNSHINE

 **LanceyLance :** HELP ME

 **Sunshine :** You gotta tell me what you did if you want me to help you

 **Gremlin :** Please don't tell me you need help finding condoms or something like that

 **Gremlin :** If you do I'm not hanging out with you anymore

 **SpaceDad :** Pidge, let him explain.

 **LanceyLance :** OH SHIT THIS IS THE GROUP CHAT ??

 **SpaceZelda :** Yes it is ! 

**SpaceZelda :** Tell us what's wrong, Lance, even if we don't know each other yet we could maybe help you !

 **Knife™ :** To be honest I'm kinda curious about why you're spamming the chat 

**SpaceDad :** Keith, don't tell me you're texting while driving.

 **Knife™ :** Chill Dad, I'm still at school

 **Knife™ :** I needed to talk to Iverson but he's an asshole

 **Knife™ :** I swear I want to punch him in the face and destroy his eye

 **Doormatt :** Why his eye

 **Knife™ :** So that he won't look at us like we're trash

 **Doormatt :** Fair enough

 **LanceyLance :** GUYS CAN WE FOCUS ON THE PROBLEM AT HAND

 **Sunshine :** WHAT'S THE PROBLEM LANCE

 **LanceyLance :** So you know how I saw this super cute girl and I went to flirt with her right ?

 **Sunshine :** Yeah I was here

 **LanceyLance :** Well Nyma -that's her name- was super sweet and cute and because I'm amazing like that I asked if she wanted to go get a coffee or something

 **Knife™ :** I still don't see where is the problem

 **LanceyLance :** SHUSH let me finish

 **LanceyLance :** So we got coffee and then we went to the park to chill you know

 **LanceyLance :** And just when I'll ask her if she wanted to go out again sometime she FUCKING HANDCUFFED ME AT A TREE AND WENT AWAY WITH MY WALLET

 **LanceyLance :** AND NOW I'M TIED TO A TREE AND I CAN'T MOVE HELP ME

 **Gremlin :** yduihoijazomdqskxwljkqs

 **Gremlin :** LANCE SERIOUSLY

 **LanceyLance :** I'm serious please come save me

 **Sunshine :** Lance,, buddy,, 

**Sunshine :** You need to stop to flirt with every pretty girl you see

 **LanceyLance :** Excuse me, I flirt with pretty boys too

 **Sunshine :** How many did you had in your wallet ?

 **LanceyLance :** Uh like $10 I'm poor 

**Sunshine :** You spend all your money in expensive coffee again ?

 **LanceyLance :** I spend all my money in expensive coffee again.

 **Gremlin :** I would love to come make fun of you but I have a shift at the Paladin's right now 

**Gremlin :** Actually I shouldn't be texting but Coran doesn't care

 **LanceyLance :** Rude.

 **SpaceDad :** Can't you … Call the police or something ?

 **Doormatt :** He's acting all cool and responsible but he's laughing so hard right now

 **SpaceZelda :** You are too, sweetheart.

 **Doormatt :** Yes I am but seriously I got some pretty bad dates but this is a all new level of “bad”

 **SpaceDad :** I would come help you if I could drive but I don't want to walk like half an hour right now

 **Doormatt :** Then I'll come get you, where are you exactly ?

 **LanceyLance :** Matt, my savior

 **LanceyLance :** I'm at Arus park PLEASE HURRY PEOPLE ARE JUDGING ME

 **Knife™ :** It's near the school, I can be here in 5 minutes if you want ?

 **LanceyLance :** NO NOT YOU

 **Knife™ :** Why not ?

 **LanceyLance :** zerdtfyuiuoijkl

 **Knife™ :** Uh ok I guess ?

 **Gremlin :** No Matt don't come let Keith do it

 **Doormatt :** Alright ? He'll probably be here before me anyway 

**Knife™ :** I'm coming then ?

 **Gremlin :** Keith, I though you didn't know what Lance look like ? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **Knife™ :** I don't, but I don't think they are a lot of guys handcuffed at a tree ?

 **Gremlin :** Valid

 **LanceyLance :** How will you unlock the handcuffs anyway

 **Knife™ :** I know how to pick lock 

**SpaceDad :** Excuse me you what

 **Knife™ :** And if that doesn't work I'll cut it I have a knife

 **SpaceDad :** EXCUSE ME YOU WHAT

 **Knife™ :** ANYWAY I'll be here in 5

 **SpaceDad :** Drive safely and please don't use your phone while driving

 **Knife™ :** Yes, Dad.

 **LanceyLance :** I can't believe Keith of all people will save me from my misery

 **LanceyLance :** Where are by two best friends

 **Gremlin :** You'll thank me later

 **Sunshine :** I'll bring you muffins tomorrow to heal your broken heart !

 **LanceyLance :** Hunk I love you Pidge you're evil

 

**Doormatt > Gremlin**

**Doormatt :** Ok what's up

 **Doormatt :** I could have come get him are you plotting something ?

 **Gremlin :** Maybe

 **Gremlin :** Now don't ask questions and let the magic happen

 

**SpaceDad > Knife™**

**SpaceDad :** Don't kill the poor boy with that knife, Keith

 **SpaceDad :** Be nice with him

 **SpaceDad :** Maybe you'll become friends !

 **SpaceDad :** If you don't stab him.

 **Knife™ :** omfg Shiro shut up I can take care of social situations just fine

 **SpaceDad :** Yeah sure mister “I'm not here to socialize”

 **Knife™ :** Blocked

 **SpaceDad :** Aw don't be like that Keith ! I know you love your old brother <3

 **Knife™ :** </3

 

**School memers**

**LanceyLance :** THAT WAS A BAD IDEA

 **Sunshine :** Lance ! Did you get home ?

 **LanceyLance :** YES BUT I AM HAVING A CRISIS

 **LanceyLance :** Keith was not being an asshole ??

 **LanceyLance :** Like efilsjckqs,pwikljpaoqs

 **LanceyLance :** Well he still didn't remembered me but he was being nice ? He came with his red motorbike like I didn't even know he had a motorbike and he picked the lock with a hairpin and he listened to me rambling and he just looked, like, perfect

 **LanceyLance :** Ok he was maybe a little awkward and wouldn't make eye contact but at least he didn't made fun of me LIKE SOME GREMLIN

 **LanceyLance :** And then he took me home with his bike and he gave me his helmet and I was like fijeqskcz,dsliwckxqs

 **LanceyLance :** And now I'm having a crisis

 **Sunshine :** You can't deny your crush anymore, Lance

 **LanceyLance :** I DON'T HAVE A CRUSH ON KEITH

 **Gremlin :** I hope you know I'm screenshoting this for later

 **LanceyLance :** I hate you you evil … being

 **Gremlin :** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **LanceyLance :** I know you're plotting something what are you plotting

 **Gremlin :** Me ? Plotting ? How dare you insinuate such things, Mcclain.

 **LanceyLance :** You're a little demon you know that

 **Gremlin :** I know and I'm proud of it

 **LanceyLance :** HUNK PLEASE PIDGE'S BEING A GREMLIN HELP ME

 **Sunshine :** I can't, I'm making muffins for tomorrow right now !

 **LanceyLance :** You're an angel

 **LanceyLance :** Pidge should learn from you

 **Sunshine :** Aw bro <3

 **LanceyLance :** Bro <3

 **Gremlin :** disgusting

 **Sunshine :** If I'm an angel and Pidge's a demon, what are you, Lance ?

 **LanceyLance :** I'm God obviously 

**Gremlin :** Yeah because God is handcuffed at a tree at least twice a week

 **LanceyLance :** you'll never forget that, will you ?

 **Gremlin :** I'll write this anecdote on your grave

 

 **SpaceDad > Knife™**

**SpaceDad :** Did you get home yet ? How is Lance ?

 **Knife™ :** No I'm on my way I had to took Lance at his home he looked like he was going to pass out

 **Knife™ :** And before you ask yes he's fine and no I didn't stab him

 **SpaceDad :** Good

 **SpaceDad :** Is he nice ?

 **Knife™ :** I don't know 

**Knife™ :** He was very dramatic 

**Knife™ :** Complaining about Nyma and how he was really good at flirting usually and how Nyma didn't know what she missed or something like that

 **Knife™ :** I didn't know what to do so I just listened

 **Knife™ :** But yeah I guess he's nice

 **Knife™ :** Even if I'll probably not recognize him next time I see him

 **SpaceDad :** That's good, you're making friends ! I'm proud of you, Keith.

 **Knife™ :** Yeah whatever.

 **SpaceDad :** What do you want to eat tonight ?

 **Knife™ :** We're ordering food I don't trust neither of us near the kitchen

 **SpaceDad :** Valid

 **SpaceDad :** Pizza ?

 **Knife™ :** We had pizza yesterday

 **Knife™ :** And the day before

 **Knife™ :** And I'm pretty sure we had pizza saturday too

 **SpaceDad :** Fine I'll order Chinese 

**Knife™ :** K

 **Knife™ :** I'll be home in 10 btw

 **SpaceDad :** Drive safely !


	3. The Adults™

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new restaurant, the school squad, and the quantum abyss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith : Knife™, Samurai  
> Lance : Lanceylance  
> Hunk : Sunshine  
> Pidge : Pidgeon, Gremlin  
> Shiro : SpaceDad  
> Matt : Doormatt  
> Allura : SpaceZelda  
> Coran : Corn  
> Romelle : Witch  
> Bandor : Warrior
> 
>  
> 
> Disaster squad : Keith, Lance, Hunk, Pidge, Shiro, Matt, Allura  
> The adults™ : Shiro, Matt, Allura  
> School memers : Lance, Hunk, Pidge  
> High school hell : Keith, Lance, Hunk, Pidge  
> Quantum Abyss : Keith, Romelle, Bandor

**The adults™**

**SpaceZelda :** Hello loves ! How are you ?  <3

 **Doormatt :** Good morning Princess ! I'm good and you ?

 **SpaceZelda :** I just woke up I'm sooo tired.

 **Doormatt :** I think I slept like 4 hours last night, so same tbh

 **SpaceZelda :** Kashi ? 

 **Doormatt :** He's probably doing his morning jogging with Keith

 **SpaceZelda :** I honestly have no idea how they can do that every morning

 **Doormatt :** That's their daily quality brother time

 **Doormatt :** And it helps Shiro feeling awake too 

 **SpaceZelda :** When they started their morning jogging they were so tired

 **SpaceZelda :** Shiro would sleep at work during his breaks and I'm pretty sure Keith did the same at school

 **SpaceDad :** Oh yeah he did

 **SpaceZelda :** Shiro !

 **Doormatt :** Shiro ! You finished running ?

 **SpaceDad :** Yeah Keith is squatting the shower right now

 **SpaceZelda :** Now that everyone is here I have an announcement !

 **SpaceZelda :** Old friends of my father just opened a new restaurant next to our coffee and Coran and I are invited ! We'll have discount of course ! Do you want to come with us ?

 **Doormatt :** A romantic dinner with my two beloved partner ? I'm in !

 **SpaceZelda :** Coran will be here, Matt.

 **Doormatt :** Still. <3

 **SpaceDad :** I'll be here. Since Coran is here too, should we take the kids too ?

 **SpaceZelda :** I'll ask them !

 

**Disaster squad**

**SpaceZelda :** Good morning everybody !

 **SpaceZelda :** Is everyone awake yet ?

 **Doormatt :** I am and I'm pretty sure Pidge didn't slept all night

 **Gremlin :** I'm pretty sure I didn't slept all night

 **SpaceDad :** Pidge, you really need a normal sleep schedule.

 **SpaceDad :** I know Keith is showering, are the other two awake ?

 **Sunshine :** I just woke up and Lance is probably awake too but he'll not answer his messages so early

 **Sunshine :** He spend one hour doing his beauty routine every morning

 **SpaceZelda :** That's good ! Taking care of our skin is important.

 **Gremlin :** Keep your beauty advices far away from me

 **Gremlin :** It's too early for this shit

 **SpaceDad :** You're moody when you don't sleep Pidge.

 **Gremlin :** I'll sleep in class I have Ryner today I already know everything she's teaching anyway

 **Gremlin :** I'm pretty sure I could skip a grade if it wasn't for english literature classes

 **Doormatt :** You probably would you're so smart

 **SpaceZelda :** Anyway ! I have something to tell you !

 **SpaceZelda :** I would like everybody to be here but I guess we'll wait for Keith and Lance ?

 **Knife™ :** I'm here, but Shiro's taking a shower now

 **SpaceZelda :** He already knows !

 **Sunshine :** Lance will probably read the group chat when he'll be done with his skin care thing so you can tell us already Allura

 **SpaceZelda :** Right ! So family friends opened their own restaurant and they wanted me and my uncle Coran to try it ! Shiro and Matt already told me they'll be here, so do you want to go ?

 **SpaceZelda :** The bill's on me, I have discounts !

 **Sunshine :** Sure ! It'll be a great occasion to meet everyone too !

 **Gremlin :** If Matt's coming I guess I'm too I don't want him to get good food without me

 **LanceyLance :** I HEARD FREE FOOD I'M IN

 **Sunshine :** Good morning Lance !

 **Knife™ :** Please we ate pizza for like 3 days straight I need real food and Shiro can't cook

 **SpaceZelda :** Everybody's coming then ! I'll send you the adress !

 **SpaceZelda :** The place's name is The Balmera Crystal, it's near the Paladin's Cafe !

**SpaceZelda send [1 Link]**

**SpaceZelda :** We'll close the Paladin's early, so rendez vous here at 7 ?

 **Doormatt :** Got it

 **Knife™ :** I'll be on my shift with Shiro and Coran at 7 anyway

 **Sunshine :** See you there !

 **Gremlin :** Work for me

 **LanceyLance :** Yeah I'll be there !

 **SpaceZelda :** Perfect ! Thank you !

 

**SpaceZelda > Corn**

**SpaceZelda :** Hello Coran !

 **SpaceZelda :** We'll be at the Balmera Crystal tonight at 7 ! Shiro, Matt, Keith and Pidge will be here with 2 friends of Pidge ! Is that ok ?

 **Corn :** Of course it is ! The more the merrier !

 **Corn :** See you there Allura !

 **SpaceZelda :** See you later Coran !  <3

 

**Gremlin > Knife™**

**Gremlin :** Psssst

 **Gremlin :** Pssst Keith

 **Knife™ :** What

 **Gremlin :** You want to eat with us at lunch today ? You met Lance yesterday, are you comfortable with him ?

 **Knife™ :** I guess so

 **Knife™ :** Is it an insult to be called 'Mullet' by the way ?

 **Knife™ :** Lance wouldn't stop calling me that yesterday I'm kinda confused

 **Knife™ :** I mean it's just hair I don't see what's wrong but he said it as if it was an insult

 **Gremlin :** Nah he was probably just bitter because of Nyma

 **Gremlin :** I'll be waiting for you at lunch !

 **Knife™ :** Next to the tree who looks like it has a screaming face on its trunk ?

 **Gremlin :** You know it

 

**Gremlin added Knife™, LanceyLance and Sunshine to High School Hell**

**Gremlin :** Now that Keith officially had lunch with us we need a group chat for our school shenanigans without the adults™ supervision

 **Knife™ :** You mean without the Dad™ supervision

 **Gremlin :** Yeah that

 **LanceyLance :** I never agreed to have Mullet Man in this group chat

 **LanceyLance :** And why did we had to meet up at this tree ?? IT'S HAUNTED I don't want to go near it

 **Knife™ :** It's not haunted, Lance

 **LanceyLance :** IT IS !! Didn't you see his trunk ?? I swear that's the soul of the kids who died in this school

 **Sunshine :** Oh no buddy please don't start with the horror stories you know I don't like the horrors stories

 **LanceyLance :** I'm sorry bro but if you want to blame somebody blame Keith

 **Knife™ :** Why

 **LanceyLance :** It's your fault we had to meet up at the Haunted Tree

 **Knife™ :** Whatever

 **LanceyLance :** You're not denying it !

 **Knife™ :** I'm pretty sure Pidge would have asked to meet up at the tree just to see you freak out

 **Gremlin :** I mean true but I already have enough blackmail videos of Lance freaking out because of that tree so that's not funny anymore

 **LanceyLance :** Excuse me you what

 **Gremlin :** I know what I wrote (ᴗ‿ᴗ✿)

 **LanceyLance :** Satan's child

 **Gremlin :** (ʘ‿ʘ✿)

 **Sunshine :** Please Pidge don't kill Lance he's my best friend I still need him

 **Gremlin :** Whatever I have class with Ryner right now I'm going to sleep

 **Gremlin :** Later fuckers

 **Sunshine :** Yeah I'm going to pay attention in class now ! Bye guys !

 **LanceyLance :** Ugh studying is boooring

 **Knife™ :** You'll regret later if you don't listen

 **LanceyLance :** I have Thace right now he's chill

 **LanceyLance :** He probably doesn't care if we don't listen

 **Knife™ :** But you'll probably care when you'll have a test and you won't be able to answer the first question because you didn't listen

 **LanceyLance :** Understandable have a nice day

 

**Bandor added Knife™ and Romelle to Quantum Abyss**

**Bandor :** What's with your username Keith

 **Knife™ :** I was added to a group chat with people I don't know and Pidge gave stupid names to everybody

 **Romelle :** Keith ? Making friends ? Who are you and what did you do with my best friend

**Romelle changed Knife™'s name to Samurai**

**Romelle changed Bandor's name to Warrior**

**Romelle change their name to Witch**

**Witch :** Better

 **Warrior :** Much better

 **Samurai :** Agreed

 **Samurai :** So how are you both doing ?

 **Witch :** I'm great ! I had a pay increase at work ! But night classes are killing me (╥_╥)

 **Warrior :** Rehabilitation is doing so great, I hope I'll be able to walk again soon !

 **Witch :** I'm sure you will !

 **Samurai :** Damn when you'll walk again we'll take you outside of this shitty hospital and take photos of everything  
  
**Samurai :** And I don't fucking care it's a 8 hour drive to go see you I'll do it so you better walk soon

 **Witch :** Threatening to show your care, typical Keith

 **Warrior :** I miss our photo expeditions

 **Warrior :** And the doctors said I'll probably be able to walk in a few months !

 **Samurai :** You better not be fucking with me because I'm so happy right now

 **Witch :** I am too ! God it was a mess after the accident but we're recovering and i'm just so happy my brother's doing so great

 **Witch :** Look I have videos of his rehab sessions !

**Witch send [3 videos]**

**Samurai :** Damn boi you'll walk in no time

 **Samurai :** Seriously that's such good news, I'm so happy for you !

 **Warrior :** Thank you ! And how is school Keith ?

 **Samurai :** It's just the beginning of the year but it's ok I guess

 **Samurai :** I miss you guys

 **Samurai :** But I started hanging out with Pidge, aka my childhood friend I haven't talked to since I started high school

 **Samurai :** I mean we talked during our shifts at The Paladin's but never at school because she was hanging out with her other friends

 **Samurai :** So she introduced me  & the Adults™ to her friends and they're cool

 **Samurai :** Well Lance is kinda weird and dramatic but yeah they're nice

 **Witch :** -wipe fake tears- Our boy is making friends

 **Warrior :** -cry in the background- They're growing so fast

 **Samurai :** Nobody believe in my social skill

 **Warrior :** That's because you don't have social skill

 **Witch :** True

 **Samurai :** You know what ? I'm going to follow my own advice and pay attention to class

 **Samurai :** Later guys

 **Warrior :** Bye Keith !

 **Witch :** You were texting in class ? :o

 **Warrior :** And you were texting at work

 **Witch :** Touché

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love the idea of Keith and Romelle becoming friends sooo ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> I didn't want to kill Bandor like in canon but I made him paraplegic after a plane accident (or something like that), where his parents died. Romelle is the only one who wasn't in the plane. They live with their uncle/aunt and if you want more details I'll maybe write a chapter with the background of all the characters ?
> 
> By the way Romelle works at a book store, Hunk & Lance work part-time at Hunk's moms bakery, Pidge and Keith work part-time at The Paladin's, and Shiro, Matt, Allura and Coran work full time at the Paladin's


	4. Restaurant trip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A sharpshooter, a new restaurant, texan accent and hunay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith : Knife™, Samurai, SpaceCowboy  
> Lance : Lanceylance, Sharpshooter, Goofball  
> Hunk : Sunshine, TheIncredibleHunk  
> Pidge : Pidgeon, Gremlin, HackerVoice  
> Shiro : SpaceDad, Child  
> Matt : Doormatt, Mattress  
> Allura : SpaceZelda, Princess  
> Coran : Corn  
> Romelle : Witch  
> Bandor : Warrior
> 
>  
> 
> Disaster squad : Keith, Lance, Hunk, Pidge, Shiro, Matt, Allura  
> The adults™ : Shiro, Matt, Allura  
> School memers : Lance, Hunk, Pidge  
> High school hell : Keith, Lance, Hunk, Pidge  
> Quantum Abyss : Keith, Romelle, Bandor

**Disaster squad**

**SpaceZelda :** Shiro, Coran, Keith and I are here !

 **SpaceZelda :** The others ? Will you be here soon ?

 **Gremlin :** Matt is driving right now, we're on our way

 **Gremlin :** Matt said in 2 minutes

 **SpaceDad :** Did Pidge just used a comma ? :o

 **Gremlin :** Did dad just used a emoji ? :o

 **SpaceDad :** Touché.

 **Sunshine :** Lance and I just left ! I don't know when we'll be here tho, we're walking

 **Gremlin :** You want us to pick you up ?

 **LanceyLance :** Yes please my legs are jelly right now

**LanceyLance send [1 localisation]**

**LanceyLance send [1 photo]**

**LanceyLance :** Look how tired we are have pity for us please

 **LanceyLance :** Or we'll DIE

 **Samurai :** I'm sure you'll survive

 **Gremlin :** Alright we'll be here soon

 **LanceyLance :** Wait how come Keith has a badass nickname now

 **LanceyLance :** I want a badass nickname too

**LanceyLance changed their name to Sharpshooter**

**Samurai :** Why

 **Sharpshooter :** Because I'm like a cool ninja sharpshooter

 **Gremlin :** He won once at laser game and since he won't drop the nickname

 **Sunshine :** He won more than once but you weren't here

 **Sunshine :** Lance never lost at laser game, I should know we do laser game parties at least twice a year

 **Gremlin :** How come I was invited only once

 **Sunshine :** We invited you but you wanted to work on Rover or Beeper instead sooo

 **Sharpshooter :** You can't deny it I'm a wonderful sharpshooter ( ｡-∀-)

 **Gremlin :** Somehow I don't believe it

 **Sharpshooter :** You're just bitter I beat you

 **Sharpshooter :** Even Hunk beat you

 **Sharpshooter :** You wouldn't tell but he's good at laser game too

 **Sunshine :** (*´∀`*)

 **SpaceZelda :** I think I can see Matt's car !

 **SpaceZelda :** We're going then !

 

**Sunshine > Sharpshooter**

**Sunshine :** Lance, stop trying to pick fights with Keith

 **Sharpshooter :** He's my rival I can pick fights if I want to !

 **Sharpshooter :** Don't think I didn't heard you sigh !

 

**SpaceDad > Samurai**

**SpaceDad :** Keith, be nice with Lance

 **Samurai :** I'm being pretty nice thank you very much

 **SpaceDad :** You two wouldn't stop bickering all night

 **Samurai :** Not my fault

 **Samurai :** I heard you sigh asshole

 

**Disaster squad**

**Sharpshooter :** I can't believe Shalluratt is made of 3 super hot  & nice people

 **Sharpshooter :** And I love Coran he's gorgeous

 **Sharpshooter :** Was his stories true ?

 **SpaceZelda :** I don't know, he always had weird stories but I like to believe they're true !

 **SpaceDad :** We have a ship name now ?

 **Sharpshooter :** Of course who do you think we are

 **Doormatt :** Shalluratt was already our ship name before Lance came

 **Doormatt :** I'm pretty sure I heard the gremlin call us that a few times before

 **SpaceZelda :** Anyway, thanks everyone for coming tonight ! I had a lot of fun !

 **Sunshine :** Yeah that was fun ! Food was good too !

 **Sharpshooter :** I know one who had a lot of fun indeed ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **Gremlin :** Yeah with that waitress ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **Doormatt :** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **Sunshine :** I don't know what you're insinuating but I don't like that

 **Sharpshooter :** Come on Hunk we saw you

 **Sharpshooter :** “you can't deny your crush bro !”

 **Sunshine :** I hate you sometimes

 **Sharpshooter :** I know you don't

 **Sharpshooter :** What was her name again ? Shea ?

 **Sunshine :** That's Shay

 **Sharpshooter :** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **Gremlin :** Your ship name is hunay

 **Sharpshooter :** Oh yes that's sweet

 **SpaceZelda :** I agree, you'll be cute together !

 **SpaceZelda :** And I'm sure you have a chance !

 **Sunshine :** Guys …

 **Sunshine :** I don't even know if I'll see her again

 **Samurai :** I'm pretty sure she is at our school

 **Samurai :** I mean I'm bad a remembering people but I think I already saw a big girl with dark skin and these big earrings things she has

 **Sharpshooter :** How come you remembered a girl you only saw but you didn't remembered me

 **Samurai :** Well I think she was next to me in one of my classes last year but I'm not sure

 **Samurai :** And I mean the earrings make her more easily identifiable

 **Gremlin :** Yeah I think I saw her at the school library a few times too !

 **Gremlin :** But please keep the romance away from me

 **Sharpshooter :** Hunay is going to drown you in romance

 **Sharpshooter :** Maybe that'll make you soft

 **Doormatt :** She is soft she just deny it

 **Doormatt :** And hide it behind her evil behavior

 **Doormatt :** And big glasses

 **Doormatt :** Glasses she stole from her poor brother

 **Gremlin :** Fuck off

 **SpaceDad :** Language, Pidge

 **Samurai :** Why do you only appear to tell us to watch our language

 **SpaceDad :** Pidge is a child she shouldn't swear

 **Gremlin :** I'm not a child !

 **Gremlin :** I'm 15 and I could hack into the government website if I wanted to

 **SpaceDad :** Still a child

 **Samurai :** You say that but you're like 6

 **Gremlin :** Yeah Shiro you're 6 your opinion is invalid

 **Sunshine :** Isn't Shiro like 25 ?

 **Samurai :** No he's 6 he's a leap year baby

 **Sharpshooter :** Then Pidge you shouldn't swear

 **Gremlin :** Why not

 **Sharpshooter :** Never swear in front of a baby

 **SpaceDad :** I hate y'all

 **Doormatt :** y'all

 **SpaceZelda :** y'all

 **Sharpshooter :** y'all

 **Gremlin :** y'all

 **Sunshine :** y'all

 **SpaceDad :** Not you too, Hunk

 **Samurai :** y'all

 **Samurai :** You can't make fun of me for being texan now

 **SpaceDad :** You know I will anyway

 **Sharpshooter :** Keith is texan ?

 **Samurai :** Yeah but I don't have any texan accent or whatever and Shiro didn't even knew before I told him

 **Samurai :** I swear he learned how to speak with the texan accent just to make fun of me

 **Samurai :** And now he's the one who use texan slang unironically

 **SpaceDad :** Just because I used y'all once-

 **Samurai :** I live with you you can't deny it

 **Doormatt :** Kashi I love you but it's true I'm pretty sure I heard you speak texan more than once

 **SpaceZelda :** True

 **Gremlin :** “speak texan” I'm wheezing

 **Sharpshooter :** Wait

 **Sharpshooter :** If Keith is texan, then he's not a samurai …

**Sharpshooter changed Samurai's name to Cowboy**

**Cowboy changed their name to SpaceCowboy**

**SpaceCowboy** **:** Let me a least have the space

 **Gremlin :** Nerd

 **Gremlin :** Are we changing names ?

**Gremlin changed their name to HackerVoice**

**HackerVoice changed SpaceZelda's name to Princess**

**HackerVoice changed Doormatt's name to Mattress**

**HackerVoice changed SpaceDad's name to Child**

**HackerVoice changed Sunshine's name to TheIncredibleHunk**

**HackerVoice changed Sharpshooter's name to Goofball**

**Goofball :** I'm hurt Pidge

**TheIncredibleHunk changed Goofball's name to Sharpshooter**

**Sharpshooter :** Thank you Hunk

 **Sharpshooter :** The only human being who appreciate my presence in this group chat

 **Mattress :** You said you liked memes so by definition I appreciate you

 **Sharpshooter :** ⊂( ・∀・⊂)

 **Mattress :** ( っಠ‿ಠ)っ

 **HackerVoice :** Stop.

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** Anyway I was wondering guys !

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** I saw you all had matching bracelets, the colored ones with the little metal lion charm, where did you bought them ? They're cute !

 **Princess :** We didn't bought them, Keith made them !

 **Sharpshooter :** Aaaw, Mullet man made friendship bracelets ?

 **SpaceCowboy :** They're not 'friendship bracelets'

 **SpaceCowboy :** More like 'identification bracelets'

 **SpaceCowboy :** Because sometimes I don't recognize my friends so I wanted something that doesn't change

 **Mattress :** Like that time Pidge showed up with my glasses and short hair Keith had no idea who she was that was kinda funny

 **Sharpshooter :** How can you not recognize your friends

 **HackerVoice :** How did you think I was a boy for like a year

 **Sharpshooter :** That was different !

 **SpaceCowboy :** I have prosopagnosia, Lance

 **SpaceCowboy :** Which means I can't remember people's face so I look at other details to recognize people when they change hairstyle or clothes or whatever

 **SpaceCowboy :** Like bracelets, or earrings, or glasses

 **Sharpshooter :** Wait

 **Sharpshooter :** Is that why you never recognized me ?

 **SpaceCowboy :** Probably ? I don't really pay attention to people in my class anyway so,,

 **Sharpshooter :** Ok

 **Sharpshooter :** Ok

 **Sharpshooter :** Cool

 **Sharpshooter :** I mean no it's not cool but we're cool with you being face blind or whatever

 **Child :** Why are you kids still up ? It's late, you have class tomorrow, you should all be sleeping

 **HackerVoice :** Yes, dad

 **SpaceCowboy :** Yes, dad

 **Sharpshooter :** Yes, dad

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** Yes, dad

 **Mattress :** Yes daddy !

 **Child :** Matthew.

 **Mattress :** I regret nothing

 

**HackerVoice > SpaceCowboy**

**HackerVoice :** So ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **SpaceCowboy :** So what

 **HackerVoice :** I don't know, I'm just curious about why you told them about your prosopagnosia

 **HackerVoice :** Usually you wait at least a few months

 **SpaceCowboy :** Shiro just told me the same thing

 **SpaceCowboy :** I just felt like they wouldn't make fun of me or think it's just an excuse for my bad memory or something like that

 **HackerVoice :** I only choose the best of the best to hang out with, Keith

 **SpaceCowboy :** I'm honored

 **HackerVoice :** You should be

 **HackerVoice :** Anyway I have new conspiracy theories you have to read

**HackerVoice send [2 links]**

**SpaceCowboy :** Thanks Nessie

 **HackerVoice :** Go read them Mothman

 

**Quantum Abyss**

**SpaceCowboy :** I'm supposed to sleep right now but Romelle check this

**SpaceCowboy send [2 links]**

**SpaceCowboy :** That's some good alien theories

 **Witch :** YES THANK YOU I needed more

 **Warrior :** Oh please not again

 **Warrior :** She's going to talk aliens for like 4 days now

 **Warrior :** Keith what have you done

 **SpaceCowboy :** Enjoy ¯\\_( ツ)_/¯

 


	5. Meddling and all

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Memes, study party, and Shay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith : Knife™, Samurai, SpaceCowboy  
> Lance : Lanceylance, Sharpshooter  
> Hunk : Sunshine, TheIncredibleHunk  
> Pidge : Pidgeon, Gremlin, HackerVoice  
> Shiro : SpaceDad, Child, SwearingDad  
> Matt : Doormatt, Mattress  
> Allura : SpaceZelda, Princess  
> Shay : Shaydorable  
> Coran : Corn  
> Romelle : Witch  
> Bandor : Warrior
> 
>  
> 
> Disaster squad : Keith, Lance, Hunk, Pidge, Shiro, Matt, Allura  
> The adults™ : Shiro, Matt, Allura  
> School memers : Lance, Hunk, Pidge  
> High school hell : Keith, Lance, Hunk, Pidge  
> Quantum Abyss : Keith, Romelle, Bandor

**Disaster squad**

**Sharpshooter :** Hey squad check these memes

**Sharpshooter send [42 photos]**

**Mattress :** Wait why I am not the first one to spam the chat with memes

**Mattress send [18 photos]**

**Child :** Why are you two up

 **Child :** It's 4 am and you have class/work tomorrow

 **HackerVoice :** Well you mean this morning

 **Child :** Why the fuck are you up Pidge

 **Child :** Do you ever sleep

 **Hackervoice :** THE CHILD SWORE

 **Sharpshooter :** That's why you shouldn't swear in front of the child, Pidge

**HackerVoice changed Child's name to SwearingDad**

**SwearingDad :** Seriously

 **SwearingDad :** Why are you sending us meme are 4 am Lance

 **Sharpshooter :** I started overthinking and I couldn't sleep

 **Sharpshooter :** If I can't sleep, nobody can (⌐■_■)

 **Mattress :** I was up helping my little sibling with their robot programming

 **HackerVoice :** I had a idea for Beezer at like midnight I HAD to do it

 **HackerVoice :** This is SCIENCE

 **Mattress :** Anyway why are YOU up Shiro ?

 **SwearingDad :** I'm a light sleeper, your messages woke me up

 **SwearingDad :** And I'm pretty sure you woke Keith too I heard him scream and I'm pretty sure he threw or stab his phone I don't know I heard something breaking

 **Sharpshooter :** Why the fuck would he have a knife on his nightstand

 **SpaceCowboy :** I didn't broke my phone thank you very much

 **SpaceCowboy :** But I _did_ tossed it

 **SpaceCowboy :** And I sleep with a knife under my pillow Lance you never know when thieves will strike

 **Mattress :** Once I came to woke him up in the morning and he stabbed me

 **Mattress :** I still have the scar

 **SpaceCowboy :** I already said I'm sorry ok

 **Mattress :** No it makes me look hot  & badass with a scar on my cheek so I mean thank you

 **HackerVoice :** Once I came in the middle on the night to show him conspiracy theories and he tried to stab me but I was too short he just stabbed the air above me

 **SpaceCowboy :** I ALREADY SAID I'M SORRY

 **Sharpshooter :** Wtf I will never try to wake him up he's scary

 **SpaceCowboy :** Why the fuck would you try to wake me up

 **Sharpshooter :** I don't know I'll never try

 **SwearingDad :** OK KIDS GO TO SLEEP

 **SwearingDad :** YOU TOO MATT

 **Mattress :** But dad-

 **SwearingDad :** Don't even try Matt I won't flinch

 **SwearingDad :** I'm going to sleep and I take Keith's phone with me

 **SpaceCowboy :** I have a knife don't even tryuhodiljlsdjklkj

 **HackerVoice :** rip Keith

 **Sharpshooter :** We won't miss you

 **Mattress :** Shiro is scary sometimes I'm going to sleep too

 **Mattress :** Night memers !

 **Sharpshooter :** Night Matt

 **HackerVoice :** Night asshole

 

**TheIncredibleHunk > Sharpshooter**

**TheIncredibleHunk :** Hey man are you ok ?

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** I just woke up and I saw your messages and I mean

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** I know you too well I know you overthink when something's up

 **Sharpshooter :** Hello to you too, Hunk

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** Lance.

 **Sharpshooter :** Well I mean I think so ?

 **Sharpshooter :** I have a test in calc today and I was just, stressing

 **Sharpshooter :** Like I don't want to fail because if I start failing this early in the year I will fail all the year and I won't go to college and I'll screw up my future and I don't want that and I don't know I don't want to disappoint my parents anymore and Keith is always so perfect having perfect grades without studying it's pissing me off

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** Lance, I know for a fact that your parents are _so proud_ of you. You _never_ disappoint them and _I_ am so proud of you. You're so smart, Lance, and you always do your best, and that's what's important.

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** I'm sure you won't fail it, Lance, and even if you fail this test you'll have a lot more test to catch your grades up

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** Again, you are smart. I believe in you and I'm sure you'll do great.

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** And don't compare yourself to Keith, he's not perfect, he probably studied a lot to be where he is today and one day you'll be better than him, I know it.

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** Now come here I made pancakes for breakfast if you want some

 **Sharpshooter :** Thanks Hunk, you're an angel

 **Sharpshooter :** I thank all gods to have an amazing neighbor to make me breakfast almost every days

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** Hurry or I'll eat them all

 **Sharpshooter :** I'm here open your door

 

**Disaster squad**

**HackerVoice :** Hello fellow gays ready for the last day of the fucking week ?

 **SwearingDad :** Language, Pidge.

 **HackerVoice :** You're the one who swore this morning

 **SwearingDad :** [long suffering sigh]

 **Sharpshooter :** Excuse me I'm not gay I'm bisexual

 **HackerVoice :** I know for a fact nobody's straight in this group chat

 **HackerVoice :** ANYWAY WHO'S READY

 **SpaceCowboy :** I'm so ready to finish the day and go cryptid hunting with you tomorrow

 **HackerVoice :** Same

 **Sharpshooter :** I'm not ready I have a test with Ryner today her tests are always so fucking hard

 **SpaceCowboy :** Oh shit it's today ?? I forgot

 **SpaceCowboy :** I'm sorry Pidge I'm pretty sure I'm going to die today

 **SpaceCowboy :** If you find a new cryptid I want you to give them my name

 **SwearingDad :** You're not going to die for a test, Keith

 **SpaceCowboy :** Maybe not but we're talking about Ryner right now

 **HackerVoice :** Her tests are not THAT bad

 **SpaceCowboy :** Yeah for you you're a fucking genius

 **Sharpshooter :** True

 **Sharpshooter :** I remember the time you hacked into the school website to replace everything by memes

 **Mattress :** THAT WAS YOU ?

 **Mattress :** Dad freaked out when he saw it

 **Princess :** He probably deal with enough memes at home

 **HackerVoice :** Allura was lurking

 **SwearingDad :** Keith, I know you didn't go to sleep when I took your phone

 **SwearingDad :** I though you were studying

 **SpaceCowboy :** I may or may not have been reading mothman conspiracy theories but,,,

 **SwearingDad :** I'll take your computer too next time

 **SpaceCowboy :** I have a knife I won't let this happen

 **Mattress :** Keith you want me to pick you up ? You could do last-minute study in the car

 **SpaceCowboy :** Yes please

 **HackerVoice :** No I want him to tell me what he read last night before he start revising

 **SwearingDad :** Pidge, let Keith be a good student

 **SwearingDad :** For once

 **SpaceCowboy :** I'm hurt

 **SwearingDad :** Hi hurt,

 **SpaceCowboy :** Shiro no

 **SwearingDad :** I'm dad

 **SpaceCowboy :** That's it I'm leaving bye Shiro see you in hell

 

**Sharpshooter > SpaceCowboy**

**Sharpshooter :** Hey Mullet ;)

 **SpaceCowboy :** This winking face is scaring me

 **Sharpshooter :** I know you love iiit

 **SpaceCowboy :** Anyway what did you want

 **Sharpshooter :** Rude :(

 **Sharpshooter :** I have a free period before Ryner's class so I wanted to know if maybe you wanted to study with me ?

 **Sharpshooter :** I mean you don't have to or whatever but I really need to study too and there's a lot of things I didn't understand so maybe we could help each other ?

 **SpaceCowboy :** That's

 **SpaceCowboy :** Actually a good idea

 **SpaceCowboy :** I'd like to, thanks

 **Sharpshooter :** Cool, cool

 **Sharpshooter :** See you at lunch ?

 **SpaceCowboy :** Yeah, later Lance

 

**TheIncredibleHunk > HackerVoice**

**TheIncredibleHunk :** Is it just me or Lance was weirdly happy at lunch ?

 **HackerVoice :** I don't know, but let him be happy

 **HackerVoice :** I don't like sad Lance

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** Yeah me neither

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** But he was really stressed about the test and now he seem ok ?

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** Like really ok sometimes he just put a facade but

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** He seemed genuinely happy

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** That was a little weird to be honest

 **HackerVoice :** Tbh I didn't really paid attention

 **HackerVoice :** But happy Lance is better than stressed Lance so I won't question it

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** Yes I get it

 **HackerVoice :** Anyway I needed to go to the library before class, some shit for my coding

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** What were you working on with Beezer ?

 **HackerVoice :** You'll see ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

**HackerVoice > Shaydorable**

**HackerVoice :** Hey Shay ! It's Pidge from the library, remember me ?

 **Shaydorable :** I gave you my number like 10 minutes ago so yes, I remember you Pidge !

 **HackerVoice :** Nice

 **HackerVoice :** I have a friend who reallyyy wanted your number, is it ok if I give it to him ?

 **HackerVoice :** His name is Hunk he was with us wednesday when we came at the Balmera, you talked a bit and he wanted to talk to you again sooo

 **Shaydorable :** Oh ! Yes, I remember him ! I would love to talk to him again too, so yes, you can give me his number, I'll text him later !

 **HackerVoice :** Here it is !

**HackerVoice send [1 contact]**

**Shaydorable :** Thank you !

 

**Shaydorable > TheIncredibleHunk**

**Shaydorable :** Hello Hunk ! I'm Shay, the waitress at the Balmera ! Pidge just told me you wanted to talk to me again ? And then they gave me your number so here I am ! :)

 

**School memers**

**TheIncredibleHunk send [1 screenshot]**

**TheIncredibleHunk :** PIDGE WHAT DID YOU DO

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** LANCE WHAT DO I DO

 **HackerVoice :** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **Sharpshooter :** Just answer her dude !

 **Sharpshooter :** Don't leave her on read, just be yourself and everything'll be alright !

 **Sharpshooter :** Everybody love Hunk and if she doesn't, she doesn't deserve you you're a ray of sunshine you can do it !

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** That's why you're by best friend Lance

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** And that's why everybody thinks you're a gremlin Pidge

 **HackerVoice :** You'll thank me later ~

 

**TheIncredibleHunk > Shaydorable **

**TheIncredibleHunk :** Oh yeah that's me hello Shay !!

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** How are you ?

 **Shaydorable :** I'm fine !

 **Shaydorable :** Actually I was wondering if you wanted to hang out sometime ? Maybe go see a movie or playing bowling or something ?

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** As in, like a date ?

 **Shaydorable :** Only if you want to !

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** YES

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** I mean yes I would love to !

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** Are you free saturday ? Bowling ?

 **Shaydorable :** That's a date then ;)

 

**School memers**

**TheIncredibleHunk :** You know what Pidge thank you

 **HackerVoice :** You're welcome buddy

 

**Disaster squad**

**SwearingDad :** So how was your day kids ?

 **Sharpshooter :** I nailed that test I'm so happy right now

 **SwearingDad :** Good job !

 **SwearingDad :** Keith ? You still alive ?

 **SpaceCowboy :** I think I did ok

 **Sharpshooter :** Shut up you fucking nailed it too

 **SwearingDad :** Language. And I'm happy for you two !

 **SwearingDad :** The others ?

 **HackerVoice :** Oh you know just the usual, meddling and all

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** I have Shay's number AND a date with her it's a good way to finish the day

 **Princess :** Well done Hunk ! I told you you had a chance :)

 **Sharpshooter :** YOU WHAT

 **Sharpshooter :** HOW COME YOU DIDN'T TELL ME EARLIER

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** Because you would act all dramatic

 **Sharpshooter :** I mean that's my job but wow I'm so proud of you bro

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** And I'm proud of you for your test ! I told you you'll do great !

 **Sharpshooter :** I may or may not asked Keith for help but that was worth it

 **Sharpshooter :** He explained me what I didn't understand and I helped him with the things he had trouble memorizing sooo

 **SpaceCowboy :** I mean in the end we did great

 **Sharpshooter :** Yeah, we did it ! We make a great team !

 **HackerVoice :** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **Princess :** Love is in the air

 **Mattress :** Lance and Keith ? Studying together without killing each other ? I don't believe it

 **SwearingDad :** Yeah Keith would have totally at least threaten to stab him

 **SpaceCowboy :** Hey I can be nice sometimes

 **SwearingDad :** Who are you and where's the real Keith

 **SpaceCowboy :** On his way to kick your ass

 **HackerVoice :** I mean no we're going to my house so that we'll get ready for tomorrow

 **SpaceCowboy :** Yeah have fun eating pizza alone Shiro

 **Princess :** You want to come at my house ?

 **Princess :** You too, Matt

 **SwearingDad :** Yeah I'm on my way

 **Mattress :** I drop the crypkids at my house then I come over  <3

 **SwearingDad :** Are you texting while driving

 **Mattress :** What of course not

 **HackerVoice :** Yes he is

 **SpaceCowboy :** Yes he is

 **SwearingDad :** Matthew.

 **Mattress :** Traitors.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like Lance would be the kind who doesn't understand his classes but remember them and Keith would understand but not remember ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	6. Crypkids

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A trip in the woods, a frog, and photos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith : Knife™, Samurai, SpaceCowboy  
> Lance : Lanceylance, Sharpshooter  
> Hunk : Sunshine, TheIncredibleHunk  
> Pidge : Pidgeon, Gremlin, HackerVoice  
> Shiro : SpaceDad, Child, SwearingDad  
> Matt : Doormatt, Mattress  
> Allura : SpaceZelda, Princess  
> Shay : Shaydorable  
> Coran : Corn  
> Romelle : Witch, SpaceArcher  
> Bandor : Warrior, SpaceExplorer
> 
>  
> 
> Disaster squad : Keith, Lance, Hunk, Pidge, Shiro, Matt, Allura, Shay  
> The adults™ and their irresponsible kids : Keith, Shiro, Pidge, Matt, Allura  
> The adults™ : Shiro, Matt, Allura  
> School memers : Lance, Hunk, Pidge  
> High school hell : Keith, Lance, Hunk, Pidge, Shay  
> Quantum Abyss : Keith, Romelle, Bandor

**The Adults™ and their irresponsible kids**

**HackerVoice :** We're on our way to the woods

 **SpaceCowboy :** I'll text you photos we're going to fucking find cryptids today

 **HackerVoice :** I mean if we don't we'll start again next week

 **SpaceCowboy :** See you tonight Shalluratt

 **Mattress :** Uuuuugh it's too early for this

 **SwearingDad :** I mean it's your fault Matt

 **Princess :** Yeah you're the one who told them about mothman and how the government lies to us

 **Mattress :** I have regrets™

 **SwearingDad :** [sigh] I have too

 **Princess :** Want to go on a date when the kids aren't there ?

 **Mattress :** Totally

 **SwearingDad :** I want to forget about our irresponsible little siblings chasing cryptids in the woods right now so yes please

 **Princess :** Alright get ready !

 **SwearingDad :** Don't we have work today though ?

 **Princess :** I'm your boss and I give you a free day

 **Princess :** I know Coran can take care of the cafe today

 **SwearingDad :** But he'll be alone ?

 **Mattress :** This guy have enough energy to run the cafe alone for 3 days straight

 **Princess :** Yeah ! We'll come back before midday and that'll be ok !

 **SwearingDad :** Ok fine

 

**Princess > Corn**

**Princess :** I'm going to a date with Matt and Shiro, the kids are playing in the woods, so you'll be alone this morning, is that ok ?

 **Corn :** Of course ! I'll ask Olia and Te-Osh to replace you ! Enjoy your date ! ´ ･ᴗ･`

 **Princess :** Thank you Coran !  <3

 

**The Adults™ and their irresponsible kids**

**SpaceCowboy send [15 photos]**

**SpaceCowboy :** We didn't find cryptids yet but I took pretty photos

 **SpaceCowboy :** I have a good feeling for today

 **HackerVoice :** They're probably still on their date

 **SpaceCowboy :** Doesn't mean I can't spam them

**SpaceCowboy send [8 photos]**

 

**The Adults™ and their irresponsible kids**

**SpaceCowboy :** OH MY GOD

 **HackerVoice :** I can't believe it

 **SwearingDad :** What happened ??

 **Mattress :** Did you found cryptids ?

 **SpaceCowboy :** Better

 

**Disaster squad**

**SpaceCowboy :** I FOUND A FROG

 **SpaceCowboy :** A TINY FROG IT'S SO CUTE

 **SpaceCowboy :** LOOK

**SpaceCowboy send [13 photos]**

**Sharpshooter :** How the FUCK can you make photos of frog so aesthetic

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** I mean yeah the photos are pretty cool but uhg it's a frog that's not 'cute'

 **SwearingDad :** And I though something serious happened …

 **Mattress :** And I though they had found cryptids …

 **SpaceCowboy :** Shut the fuck up this frog is my son now

 **SpaceCowboy :** He looks dumb

 **SpaceCowboy :** I'll call him Slav

 **SwearingDad :** Keith, brogane's house rule number 6

 **SpaceCowboy :** We are not talking about your creepy former classmate who comes at the Paladin's sometimes and just drive you nuts

 **SpaceCowboy :** But hey maybe that's Slav from another reality ?

 **SwearingDad :** Dead to me

 **HackerVoice :** We went to chase cryptids and now he's talking about adopting a fucking frog I can't believe it

 **HackerVoice :** Literally NOBODY find frogs cute, Keith

**SpaceCowboy send [21 photos]**

**HackerVoice :** NOBODY

 **HackerVoice :** WHAT ARE YOU, AN ALIEN ?

 **SpaceCowboy :** God I wish

 **HackerVoice :** I'm adding this in my “proof that Keith Kogane is half-alien” file

 **Sharpshooter :** Man the photos are so fucking beautiful even if the frog is repulsive what the fuck did you photoshop them ??

 **SwearingDad :** Language, kids.

 **HackerVoice :** No he didn't

 **HackerVoice :** He just spend so much time taking photos during our cryptid hunts he got so good at that

 **SpaceCowboy :** Yeah first time we went hunting Pidge named me their “professional and personnal cryptid hunt photographer”

 **SpaceCowboy :** I was like 11 they were 9 and the rest is history

 **Princess :** Really ? I always thought it was like, a natural talent

 **SpaceCowboy :** No but I mean Banzor is a photography nerd so he gave me photography tips and now I can take cute frog photos even if nobody wants them

 **SwearingDad :** [sigh] You're not taking this frog home, Keith.

 **SwearingDad :** Actually you're not taking any animal home

 **SwearingDad :** Actually just come home already I feel like you've got enough woods for like a year

 **SpaceCowboy :** NO WAY

 **HackerVoice :** WE'RE STAYING UNTIL AT LEAST 5 PM

 **Mattress :** Shiro just sigh so hard

 **Princess :** He's so done with your shit

 **SwearingDad :** 1) Language, 2) you're the reason I have gray hair

 **SpaceCowboy :** I though it was because Matt dared you to dye your mop of hair white

 **SwearingDad :** Stop exposing me

 **HackerVoice :** Anyway we're back cryptid hunting bye loosers

 

**Quantum Abyss**

**SpaceCowboy send [34 photos]**

**SpaceCowboy :** Look it's Slav he's my son now but we had to leave him in the forest and everybody said a frog was disgusting but he looked so cute ???

 **Witch :** Aaah he's so cute ! And frogs are beautiful, what is wrong with them ?

 **Witch :** Bandor is with me and he said the frog is adorable !

 **Witch :** He said you're becoming better at photography too ! He's proud of you !

 **SpaceCowboy :** You two are the only ones who understand me

 **SpaceCowboy :** Pidge said you're probably aliens too

 **Witch :** I mean I would love to

 **Witch :** Bandor just yelled “NOT AGAIN”

 **SpaceCowboy :** When will he accept aliens are real

 **Witch :** [long sigh] soon I hope

 **Witch :** Anyway why did you changed your name ?

 **SpaceCowboy :** [long sigh] Lance

 **Witch :** Isn't he the “weird and dramatic but kinda nice” guy ?

 **SpaceCowboy :** Yeah but now he won't stop trying to pick fights with me

 **Witch :** Knowing you you probably fight back ?

 **SpaceCowboy :** Of fucking course

 **Witch :** That's not how you're supposed to make friends, Keith

 **SpaceCowboy :** Well yesterday we studied together and that was great ? We had like a bonding moment and in the end we did ok

 **SpaceCowboy :** But then he called Slav repulsive and that ruined it

 **Witch :** That's rough buddy, but why do I feel like there's something else ?

 **SpaceCowboy :** There's nothing else he's a frog hater that's all

 **Witch :** Ok then

**Witch changed their name to SpaceArcher**

**SpaceArcher changed Warrior's name to SpaceExplorer**

**SpaceArcher:** Now we match

 **SpaceCowboy :** Perfect

 

**The Adults™ and their irresponsible kids**

**HackerVoice :** We're on our way home

 **HackerVoice :** Keith still fells betrayed by Shiro for not wanting to have a second slav in his life

 **SwearingDad :** I don't want a fucking frog in my house

 **SpaceCowboy :** Oooooh the dad swore :o

 **HackerVoice :** Don't swear in front of the children, dad :o

 **SwearingDad :** I have regrets

 

**Disaster squad**

**TheIncredibleHunk :** Hey guys !

 **Sharpshooter :** HUNK !!

 **Sharpshooter :** How was your date ?

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** That went really well actually !

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** Shay beat me at bowling but she was so nice and she complimented my cooking

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** I feel like the happiest man in town right now

 **Sharpshooter :** I told you she'll love you ! I'm so so sooo proud of you man !

 **Princess :** That's really sweet Hunk ! Congrats !

 **HackerVoice :** That's it Hunay is canon

 **SpaceCowboy :** Congrats

 **Mattress :** [wipe away fake tears] Our kids are growing so fast

 **SwearingDad :** Congrats Hunk, we're really happy for you !

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** Yeah actually I was thinking if maybe I could add her in the group chat ?

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** I told her about it and she said she'd like to see it and I can't say no to her,,

 **HackerVoice :** Already whipped

 **Sharpshooter :** Yeah add her man ! I think everyone already knows her anyway

 **Princess :** Of course Hunk ! It'll be a pleasure to have her here !

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** Ok I'm adding her ! Be nice guys !

**TheIncredibleHunk added Shaydorable**

**TheIncredibleHunk :** Hi Shay !

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** Welcome in the group chat !

 **Shaydorable :** Hello everyone !

 **Princess :** Hi Shay ! I'm Allura, glad to know you're in the group chat now ! :)

 **SwearingDad :** Greeting, I'm Shiro, and I hope you don't think this group chat is serious because it's really not

 **Mattress :** Who says greeting anymore

 **SpaceCowboy :** Your boyfriend, apparently

 **Mattress :** I'm Matt by the way !

 **HackerVoice :** You already know me !

 **Sharpshooter :** Hi there, the name's Lance !

 **Sharpshooter :** If you break my best friend's heart I'll personally fight you

 **Shaydorable :** Who can hurt this ray of sunshine

 **Shaydorable :** I should be heartless and guess what ? I'm not

 **Sharpshooter :** I like her

 **SpaceCowboy :** Lance, who the fuck would be afraid to fight you you have like noodle arms

 **Sharpshooter :** I DO NOT

 **SpaceCowboy :** Even Pidge could beat you

 **Sharpshooter :** They're like 4 ft high

 **HackerVoice :** Do you want me to kick your ass or what

 **Sharpshooter :** What no sorry you're a scary little gremlin

 **HackerVoice :** Thought so

 

**High school hell**

**HackerVoice added Shaydorable**

**HackerVoice :** That's our school group chat

 **HackerVoice :** Here we complain about teachers and swear without the dad knowing

 **Shaydorable :** So it's like a swearing chat ?

 **HackerVoice :** Yes.

 **Shaydorable :** I like it it's a really good idea actually

 **Sharpshooter :** I like her.

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** Please don't flirt with her Lance I like her too

 **Shaydorable :** <3

 **HackerVoice :** Disgusting.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When we leave the door open sometimes tiny frogs enter the house and I find them absolutely adorable but my family is like "eh frog put it outside"
> 
> Also :  
> Me, at like 3pm : So let's write a few chapters and play pokemon,,  
> Me, what feel like 10 minutes later : Where is the sun
> 
> Also : I just saw the trailer and I'm so not ready for season 7 but so excited at the same time  
> Please no episode 1 spoiler thanks


	7. Operation Klance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just Dance, robots, and Klance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith : Knife™, Samurai, SpaceCowboy, MulletNinja  
> Lance : Lanceylance, Sharpshooter, Bi-tter  
> Hunk : Sunshine, TheIncredibleHunk  
> Pidge : Pidgeon, Gremlin, HackerVoice  
> Shiro : SpaceDad, Child, SwearingDad  
> Matt : Doormatt, Mattress  
> Allura : SpaceZelda, Princess  
> Shay : Shaydorable  
> Coran : Corn  
> Romelle : Witch, SpaceArcher  
> Bandor : Warrior, SpaceExplorer
> 
> Disaster squad : Keith, Lance, Hunk, Pidge, Shiro, Matt, Allura, Shay  
> The adults™ and their irresponsible kids : Keith, Shiro, Pidge, Matt, Allura  
> The adults™ : Shiro, Matt, Allura  
> School memers : Lance, Hunk, Pidge  
> High school hell : Keith, Lance, Hunk, Pidge, Shay  
> Quantum Abyss : Keith, Romelle, Bandor  
> Operation Klance : Hunk, Pidge, Matt, Allura

**HackerVoice > Mattress**

**HackerVoice send [1 video]**

**HackerVoice :** I finished programming Beezer !

 **HackerVoice :** Look at him ! He's perfect !

 **Mattress :** Omg it's perfect Lance is gonna love it

 **HackerVoice :** What no he's gonna hate it when Beezer will kick his ass

 **Mattress :** True

 **Mattress :** Now go to sleep it's 3 am

 **HackerVoice :** You spend too much time with Shiro

 **Mattress :** Want me to call Shiro ?

 **HackerVoice :** Oh look a bed !! I'm going to sleep now good night brother of mine !

 **Mattress :** It always work

 

**Disaster squad**

**HackerVoice :** Good morning everybody I have an announcement

 **Sharpshooter :** It's 1pm Pidge it's not morning

 **HackerVoice :** I know but I just woke up

 **SwearingDad :** When did you went to sleep

 **Mattress :** 3 am

 **SwearingDad :** How do you know

 **Mattress :** I went to sleep at 4

 **SwearingDad :** [sigh]

 **Princess :** Hello Pidge !

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** Hi ! What's up ?

 **HackerVoice :** SO MY ANNOUNCEMENT

 **HackerVoice :** First of all she/her day pls

 **HackerVoice :** Second Lance are you free right now

 **Sharpshooter :** Pidge it's sunday you know I never do anything on sunday

 **HackerVoice :** Nice I challenge you at Just Dance be at my house in 15 min

 **Sharpshooter :** Ah be ready to LOSE

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** Yeah Pidge I love you but Lance is the king of Just Dance you can't seriously think you'll beat him

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** He never lose

 **HackerVoice :** We'll see

 **Mattress :** PIDGE PLEASE LITTLE SISTER I LOVE YOU BUT I'LL BE AT WORK I NEED A VIDEO

 **HackerVoice :** Of fucking course

 **SwearingDad :** Language …

 **SpaceCowboy :** Even if I'd love to see Lance lose I'll also be at work so can I have the video too ?

 **HackerVoice :** Of course

 **Sharpshooter :** You have so little faith in me, Keith

 **SpaceCowboy :** Excuse me last time I said I never lose a sword fight Pidge built a robot samurai

 **SpaceCowboy :** She can do crazy things to prove you wrong

 **HackerVoice :** You fucking destroyed the Gladiator with a fucking knife I'm still mad a you for that

 **SpaceCowboy :** You're the one who challenged me

 **SpaceCowboy :** And the objective of the Gladiator was to be destroyed anyway

 **Mattress :** I still have the video of the fight

 **SwearingDad :** I still have the lamp they broke in the fight

 **HackerVoice :** I still have the Gladiator's broken body

 **Sharpshooter :** WE'RE HERE PIDGE OPEN THE DOOR you're so going to lose

 **SpaceCowboy :** Did he read our last messages or … ?

 **HackerVoice :** What he doesn't know won't hurt him

 

**Disaster squad**

**HackerVoice send [1 video]**

**HackerVoice :** Beezer totally beat his ass

 **HackerVoice :** Another proof that science is better than people

 **Sharpshooter :** THAT'S NOT FAIR

 **Sharpshooter :** SHE BUILT A ROBOT TO BEAT ME AT JUST DANCE THAT'S FUCKING NOT FAIR

 **Sharpshooter :** HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE

 **SwearingDad :** LANGUAGE

 **Mattress :** Oh my god good job Pidge I knew you could do it

 **Sharpshooter :** I WOULD HAVE PREFERED IF SHE DIDN'T

 **Mattress :** Keith is so red right now

 **Mattress :** Wait

 **Mattress :** He just started laughing so hard the customer looked at him like he was possessed

 **Sharpshooter :** Rude

 **Sharpshooter :** Matt I want this video of Keith fighting the Gladiator

 **HackerVoice :** You know he won right

 **Sharpshooter :** I'm sure he doesn't

**Mattress send [1 video]**

**Sharpshooter :** What

 **Sharpshooter :** WHAT THE FUCK

 **Sharpshooter :** HOW THE FUCK CAN HE MOVE LIKE THAT

 **Sharpshooter :** THAT'S NOT HUMAN

 **HackerVoice :** He's an alien

 **SwearingDad :** Looking the death of my lamp again is painful …

 **Princess :** Because Shiro is in grief I'll say it for him,

 **Princess :** Language, kids

**Sharpshooter changed SpaceCowboy's name to MulletNinja**

**MulletNinja :** Can I ask why ?

 **Sharpshooter :** You know PERFECTLY why

 **MulletNinja :** By the way I showed the video of Beezer beating you to Coran

 **MulletNinja :** He says “better luck next time my boy !”

 **Sharpshooter :** Why would you show him that

 **MulletNinja :** He wanted to know why I was laughing

 **Sharpshooter :** I want a revenge Pidge

 

**Disaster squad**

**HackerVoice send [4 videos]**

**HackerVoice :** He didn't win

 

**Mattress > HackerVoice**

**Mattress send [2 photos]**

**Mattress :** Keith is weirdly red

 **Mattress :** And I'm sure he's looking at Lance dancing

 **HackerVoice :** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **Mattress :** I know you're plotting something and I want to be in

 **HackerVoice :** You know what

 

**HackerVoice added TheIncredibleHunk and Mattress to Operation Klance**

**HackerVoice :** Hello fellow klancers and welcome to the Klance HQ

 **HackerVoice :** We have evidences of Lance crushing on Keith and now !! We have clues of Keith liking him back

 **HackerVoice :** Our mission ? Getting these two dorks together

 **Mattress :** I approve

 **Mattress :** Should we add Allura ?

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** You think she'll help us ?

 **Mattress :** You definitely don't know her when it comes to romance

**HackerVoice added Princess to Operation Klance**

**Princess :** What is this group chat ?

 **HackerVoice :** Read previous messages

 **Princess :** Oh !

 **Princess :** I'm interested !

 **Princess :** But aren't they always fighting ?

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** Trust me Lance fight with people when he doesn't know what to do with his feelings

 **Princess :** And Keith ? He doesn't seem like the type to date

**Mattress send [2 photos]**

**Mattress :** Context : He was looking at the 'Lance dancing' videos

 **Princess :** Ok what's our plan of action ?

 **HackerVoice :** First we need them to acknowledge their feelings

 **HackerVoice :** Lance is still in denial and I think Keith just hasn't realize them yet

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** I'm going to talk to Lance

 **HackerVoice :** I'll talk to Keith

 **Princess :** Bad idea

 **Princess :** Keith won't talk about his feelings with anyone other than Shiro

 **Princess :** Should we add him ?

 **HackerVoice :** I'm not sure he'll probably tell us not to meddle

 **Mattress :** True

 **Mattress :** So we start with Lance and we add Shiro when he's with us on team Klance ?

 **HackerVoice :** Deal

 **Princess :** Deal

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** Deal

 

**TheIncredibleHunk > Sharpshooter**

**TheIncredibleHunk :** Hey man

 **Sharpshooter :** Hunk do you agree that Beezer was fucking cheating

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** He probably was ? I don't know but you're still the King of Just Dance among us living creatures

 **Sharpshooter :** THANK YOU you're right as always

 

**Disaster squad**

**Sharpshooter send [1 screenshot]**

**Sharpshooter :** Take that Pidge

 **HackerVoice :** You're just bitter Beezer's better than you

**HackerVoice changed Sharpshooter's name to Bi-tter**

**Bi-tter :** This is biphobia

 

**TheIncredibleHunk > Bi-tter**

**TheIncredibleHunk :** Anyway bro I have a question

 **Bi-tter :** Go for it

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** What do you think of Keith

 **Bi-tter :** UUUUGH REALLY ??

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** Yes really

 **Bi-tter :** ekjldscx I don't know

 **Bi-tter :** He really isn't how I thought he was

 **Bi-tter :** I mean he's still attractive as fuck even if he has a MULLET like nobody has a mullet who does he think he is ? And how is he able to make it look GOOD ? Like wtf man it looks really soft

 **Bi-tter :** And he's really sweet even if he's not patient usually when we studied for Ryner's test he didn't yelled at me for not understanding and just explained me differently and that was really nice

 **Bi-tter :** And he's cute sometimes too like when he laugh and his smile reach his eyes and OMG HAVE YOU SEEN HIS EYES ?? They're like purple I mean I know Pidge thinks he's an alien and that's stupid but his eyes really are out of this world

 **Bi-tter :** But I'm sure he doesn't like me and that's making me sad

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** Dude you totally have a crush on him

 **Bi-tter :** Hunk I totally have a crush on him what must I do ???

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** Well first I know for sure he doesn't hate you, he seems really comfortable around you

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** More than around me I think

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** And then, I'll just repeat what you told me : Just be yourself man, if he can't like you for who you are, it's not worth it

 **Bi-tter :** I knew I'm good at giving advices

 **Bi-tter :** Thanks bro

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** You're welcome bro

 

**Operation Klance**

**TheIncredibleHunk send [2 screenshots]**

**HackerVoice :** Operation Klance, part one : check

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** What's part two ?

 **HackerVoice :** Making sure Keith is aware of his feelings

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** And how do we do that ?

 **Mattress :** With patience, yields, focus

 **Princess :** We'll need it

 **HackerVoice :** We need the dad

 **Princess :** Do we add him ?

 **HackerVoice :** Not now

 **HackerVoice :** Wait till he notices the pining or he won't help us

 **Mattress :** Fair enough

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY the klance gc. Enjoy !
> 
> (Please no episode 1 spoiler thanks)


	8. The cats (1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cats. What else is it to say ?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith : Knife™, Samurai, SpaceCowboy, MulletNinja  
> Lance : Lanceylance, Sharpshooter, Bi-tter  
> Hunk : Sunshine, TheIncredibleHunk  
> Pidge : Pidgeon, Gremlin, HackerVoice  
> Shiro : SpaceDad, Child, SwearingDad  
> Matt : Doormatt, Mattress  
> Allura : SpaceZelda, Princess  
> Shay : Shaydorable  
> Coran : Corn  
> Romelle : Witch, SpaceArcher  
> Bandor : Warrior, SpaceExplorer
> 
>  
> 
> Disaster squad : Keith, Lance, Hunk, Pidge, Shiro, Matt, Allura, Shay  
> The adults™ and their irresponsible kids : Keith, Shiro, Pidge, Matt, Allura  
> The adults™ : Shiro, Matt, Allura  
> School memers : Lance, Hunk, Pidge  
> High school hell : Keith, Lance, Hunk, Pidge, Shay  
> Quantum Abyss : Keith, Romelle, Bandor  
> Operation Klance : Hunk, Pidge, Matt, Allura, Shay

**Disaster squad**

**Bi-tter :** Ugh, monday

 **Bi-tter :** I hate mondays

 **Bi-tter :** I have calc today

 **Bi-tter :** I don't want to see my grade

 **MulletNinja :** I thought you did great ?

 **Bi-tter :** Yeah but uuuh now that I think about it I don't think I did that great

 **MulletNinja :** Well I guess you'll see ?

 **MulletNinja :** Don't stress too much, we studied, you probably did amazing

 **Bi-tter :** You

 **Bi-tter :** You really think that ?

 **MulletNinja :** Yeah ?

 **Bi-tter :** Wow

 **Bi-tter :** Thanks, Keith

 **Mattress :** What the fuck just happened

 

**Operation Klance**

**HackerVoice :** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **Mattress :** A rare soft Keith

 **Princess :** What's the Klance plan for today ?

 **HackerVoice :** I say we act like usual

 **HackerVoice :** Lance will be suspicious if we start something just after Hunk's interrogation yesterday

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** True

 

**Disaster squad**

**Bi-tter :** I HAD 97/100

 **Bi-tter :** 97

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** Congrats Lance !! I told you, you're smart !

 **Shaydorable :** :o That's great !

 **HackerVoice :** Wow good job man

 **Mattress :** I'm actually impressed

 **Princess :** We're proud of you Lance !

 **SwearingDad :** Bravo Lance ! And Keith ?

 **MulletNinja :** 98

 **Bi-tter :** HOW

 **Bi-tter :** YOU BEAT ME WITH LIKE ONE POINT

 **Bi-tter :** IT'S NOT FAIR

 **Bi-tter :** I WON'T LET THAT HAPPEN TWICE

 **MulletNinja :** Yeah whatever

 **SwearingDad :** I'm not surprised

 **Princess :** Yeah me neither

 **HackerVoice :** Anyway squad what's planned for the week ?

 **SwearingDad :** Right now going back to work. And you should do the same, kids

 **SwearingDad :** I know you're happy but I also know for a fact you're still in class

 **Bi-tter :** Joy killer

 

**High school hell**

**HackerVoice :** Meeting at the haunted tree before lunch ?

 **Bi-tter :** Not that tree again

 **Shaydorable :** What's the haunted tree ?

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** That's a weird shaped tree and Lance is persuaded it's haunted

**MulletNinja send [4 photos]**

**MulletNinja :** It's near the cafeteria

 **Shaydorable :** Oooh I know that tree ! Nobody come near it because it's scary

 **Bi-tter :** SEE !!!

 **HackerVoice :** See you at lunch then

 **Bi-tter :** If we're not dead

 **Bi-tter :** I swear that tree will curse us one day

 

**Shaydorable > TheIncredibleHunk**

**Shaydorable :** I don't know if I should ask to the entire table but Keith and Lance kinda act like an old married couple

 **Shaydorable :** Are they dating ?

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** SERDTFVYGBUHNIDJ,OQKSMLXK

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** No they're not but we're trying to get them together because Lance is pining since freshman and it's painful to see but tbh I just want him happy

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** And we think Keith may be pining too

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** Wait we have a group chat for that I'm going to add you

 

**Operation Klance**

**TheIncredibleHunk added Shaydorable to Operation Klance**

**TheIncredibleHunk send [1 screenshot]**

**TheIncredibleHunk :** She's one of us guys

 **HackerVoice :** UYADIUHQSIJLX I'M WHEEZING

 **HackerVoice :** YOU THOUGHT THEY WERE DATING FEZLIJKDSCLKXW

 **Shaydorable :** Oh, god ! You even have a ship name for them

 **Shaydorable :** You're really into it !

 **HackerVoice :** Of course they have a ship name

 **HackerVoice :** What are we, animals ?

 **Mattress :** I'm here for like one minute because Shiro can't know I'm texting at work but welcome Shay to our Klance conspiracy HQ

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** Guys, I think they know we're texting each other

 **HackerVoice :** Oh yeah Matt we gtg !

 

**Bi-tter > MulletNinja**

**Bi-tter :** Hey Keith thanks again for helping me for the test

 **MulletNinja :** You're welcome ? I'm pretty sure if it wasn't for you I would have failed it so thank you too

 **Bi-tter :** Actually Keith I have something to ask you

 **MulletNinja :** Spill

 **Bi-tter :** The bus didn't showed up and my parents are working

 **MulletNinja :** Want me to pick you up ?

 **Bi-tter :** Yes please

 **MulletNinja :** I'm on my way

 

**SwearingDad > MulletNinja**

**SwearingDad :** Hey where are you ? You were supposed to be home like 45 minutes ago

 **SwearingDad :** Keith ?

 **SwearingDad :** Keith answer your texts.

 **SwearingDad :** Keith ???

**5 missed calls by SwearingDad**

 

**Disaster squad**

**SwearingDad :** Ok did someone have seen Keith ?

 **HackerVoice :** Not since he left school, why ?

 **Princess :** Is everything ok ?

 **SwearingDad :** He's not home, he doesn't respond his texts and I have no idea where he is

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** Oh that's bad

 **Shaydorable :** Are you sure he's not just driving ? He's not gonna answer if he's driving

 **HackerVoice :** Want me to track his phone ?

 **Princess :** Yes please

 **Princess :** But Kashi don't worry to much you know Keith

 **Mattress :** Yeah the guy carry like 4 knives everywhere he goes

 **Bi-tter :** Jeez guys calm down

 **Bi-tter :** He's with me he's fine don't worry

 **SwearingDad :** Tell him to text me I want to know why the fuck didn't he told me where he is

 **Bi-tter :** He's typing

 

**Operation Klance**

**HackerVoice :** So,,,

 **HackerVoice :** Keith and Lance together, neither of them answering their phones for a long time,,,

 **Mattress :** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

**MulletNinja > SwearingDad**

**MulletNinja :** Do you love me

 **SwearingDad :** Of course I do ! Why ? Are you ok ? Are you injured ?

 **MulletNinja :** Cool you won't kill me then

 **SwearingDad :** Keith ? What did you do.

 **SwearingDad :** KEITH

 

**Disaster squad**

**MulletNinja :** So who want a cat

 **SwearingDad :** KEITH ???

**MulletNinja send [14 photos]**

**MulletNinja :** The red one is Red I love her she's adorable she'll fight everyone but me, like she already adopted me so I'm keeping her

 **Bi-tter :** Blue's better

 **MulletNinja :** I think she has anger issue like me and she bite Lance when he tried to pet her so I like her

 **Bi-tter :** Hey !!

 **MulletNinja :** The brown one with three legs is Green, she has green eyes and she's super curious

 **MulletNinja :** The fat one is Yellow (because of his fur) he won't stop asking for hugs

 **MulletNinja :** The grey one is Blue because of her eyes too and she's blind but Lance already wants her bc she's calm and cuddly

 **MulletNinja :** And the black one with yellow eyes (his name is Black obviously) is like the big brother he's calm and take care of the others and that's cute but he's afraid of everything

 **MulletNinja :** I'm keeping Red and Lance is keeping Blue but who wants the others ?

 **Bi-tter :** Fyi I told him naming the cats after colors is ridiculous

 **SwearingDad :** Excuse me no you're not adopting a cat

 **SwearingDad :** I live with you I'm your legal guardian I pay the bills and I want to know why you took this decision without asking me before

 **SwearingDad :** I don't even know if pets are allowed in our apartment

 **MulletNinja :** Yes they are when you were spamming me I called the owner

 **SwearingDad :** Keith, having a cat is a lot of responsibilities

 **MulletNinja :** I know but the vet told us how to take care of a kitten and I know I can do it

 **MulletNinja :** And look

**MulletNinja send [6 photos]**

**HackerVoice :** Is the cat on your shoulder

 **Bi-tter :** Yeah she has been for like half an hour now

 **Bi-tter :** I don't know why but Red only wants him to touch her

 **Bi-tter :** Maybe it's because he's the one who found them

 **SwearingDad :** Keith …

 **MulletNinja :** Plus I can relate to them

 **Princess :** Explain

 **MulletNinja :** They were abandoned by their parents/former owners and nobody wanted them because they were different and now Red found somebody she likes and trust but fate is mean and doesn't want me to keep her and that's making her really really sad

 **MulletNinja :** And me too I'll be sad if I can't keep her

 **Shaydorable :** Oh my god

 **Shaydorable :** Keith, are you ok ?

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** That's so sad I'm giving you a hug tomorrow

 **SwearingDad :** You,,

 **MulletNinja :** Please

 **SwearingDad :** O-ok you can keep her

**Bi-tter send [1 photo]**

**Bi-tter :** Look he's happy now

 **Bi-tter :** HE'S CRYING

 **MulletNinja :** Thank you Shiro I love you

**MulletNinja send [1 photo]**

**MulletNinja :** Red says thank you too

 **HackerVoice :** Ok that was really sad and cute but I want a cat too

 **Mattress :** What

 **HackerVoice :** I want Green and I want to make her a robot paw

 **Mattress :** Fair enough I'll talk to the parents

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** Maybe I can take one too !

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** My moms wanted to have a pet since forever ! I'm going to show them so we'll see which one we take !

 **Shaydorable :** I'd love to take the other one but my brother is really allergic to cats and we already have a dog …

 **Princess :** Same, I love cats but I have 4 mice and I don't want to take risks, and since Coran live with me we can't really ask him

 **Princess :** By the way Keith you mentioned a vet ?

 **MulletNinja :** Oh yeah it's Blaytz you said once he was a really cool vet for your mice and because I didn't know another vet I just called him

 **Princess :** Oh yes ! He's really nice, my father was friend with him, so you can trust him !

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** We're taking Yellow !

 **Mattress :** And our parents are ok to take Green

 **HackerVoice :** I'm pretty sure Dad wants to build the leg too

 **MulletNinja :** So who takes Black ?

 **MulletNinja :** Because if nobody wants him I'll take him

 **SwearingDad :** Keith...

**MulletNinja send [5 photos]**

**SwearingDad :** [sigh] Fine I'll take Black

 **Bi-tter :** He's so happy he's like, hopping up and down with Red and Black in his arms

**Bi-tter send [1 video]**

**SwearingDad :** KEITH DO NOT THREATEN LANCE WITH A KNIVE BECAUSE HE TOOK A VIDEO OF YOU

 **HackerVoice :** Rip Lance

 **Mattress :** Rip Lance

 **Shaydorable :** Rip Lance

 **MulletNinja :** Rip Lance

**MulletNinja send [1 location]**

**MulletNinja :** Pidge and Hunk come get your cats

 **MulletNinja :** After that we're going to buy all the things a cat needs I have a list

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo, because Keith is kinda the one who felt the Blue lion's energy in Voltron I thought it would be a good idea to make him & Lance find the cats ? Kinda inspired by how my sister and I found our cat.


	9. The cats (2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith : Knife™, Samurai, SpaceCowboy, MulletNinja  
> Lance : Lanceylance, Sharpshooter, Bi-tter  
> Hunk : Sunshine, TheIncredibleHunk  
> Pidge : Pidgeon, Gremlin, HackerVoice  
> Shiro : SpaceDad, Child, SwearingDad  
> Matt : Doormatt, Mattress  
> Allura : SpaceZelda, Princess  
> Shay : Shaydorable  
> Coran : Corn  
> Romelle : Witch, SpaceArcher  
> Bandor : Warrior, SpaceExplorer
> 
>  
> 
> Disaster squad : Keith, Lance, Hunk, Pidge, Shiro, Matt, Allura, Shay  
> The adults™ and their irresponsible kids : Keith, Shiro, Pidge, Matt, Allura  
> The adults™ : Shiro, Matt, Allura  
> School memers : Lance, Hunk, Pidge  
> High school hell : Keith, Lance, Hunk, Pidge, Shay  
> Quantum Abyss : Keith, Romelle, Bandor  
> Operation Klance : Hunk, Pidge, Matt, Allura, Shay, Shiro, Romelle, Bandor

**MulletNinja > SwearingDad**

**MulletNinja :** Are you mad at me ?

 **SwearingDad :** What no I'm not mad why ?

 **MulletNinja :** Because I adopted a cat without asking you before and that was really impulsive, irresponsible and selfish

 **SwearingDad :** Yes it was but Keith, I'm not mad. I was just worried because a lot could have happened and you weren't answering me. I'm just so glad you're ok and you found cats and you're happy and that's what's important.

 **SwearingDad :** So don't beat yourself Keith, I'm glad you have Red and I love cats too, I'm sure I'll love Black.

 **SwearingDad :** Just don't do that again, ok ?

 **MulletNinja :** Ok

 **MulletNinja :** I'll ask you next time

 **SwearingDad :** Please don't tell me you're planning to adopt another weird animal

 **MulletNinja :** We never know ¯\\_( ツ)_/¯

 **SwearingDad :** [sigh]

 **SwearingDad :** Anyway how is shopping ? Do you have enough money ?

 **MulletNinja :** Yeah I'm paying with the money I earned at work

 **MulletNinja :** I took photos at the shop

**MulletNinja send [32 photos]**

**SwearingDad :** That's a lot of photos of Lance

 **MulletNinja :** That's not

 **SwearingDad :** Uh-uh

 **MulletNinja :** What

 **SwearingDad :** Nothing

 

**The Adults™**

**SwearingDad :** Does Keith has a crush on Lance ??

 **Mattress :** Finally

 **Princess :** Welcome to the Klance plot

 

**Operation Klance**

**Mattress added SwearingDad to Operation Klance**

**SwearingDad :** Ok what is it

 **Mattress :** Read the previous messages take your time and join our humble cause

 **Princess :** Pidge, Hunk, Matt, any Klance interaction during your time with the cats ?

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** Yeah they won't stop arguing about which cat is the best

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** (Yellow is clearly the best)

 **HackerVoice :** Right now they're fighting over what toys they'll buy them

 **Shaydorable :** They're really acting like an old married couple

**HackerVoice send [5 photos]**

**HackerVoice :** You're welcome

 **SwearingDad :** So if I understood right

 **SwearingDad :** Lance and Keith are pining idiots and you want them to date

 **Princess :** Yes

 **SwearingDad :** Are you aware that Keith is a disaster when it comes to romance

 **Princess :** That's why we're here

 **HackerVoice :** Are you with us

 **SwearingDad :** And having an opportunity to annoy my little brother with his love life ? Of course.

 

**MulletNinja > SwearingDad**

**MulletNinja :** I'll be home in 10 but Pidge  & Matt have the cats & their stuff in their car because the bike isn't really practical to transport cats

 **MulletNinja :** They'll probably be here before me

 **SwearingDad :** Ok, drive safely !

 

**School Memers**

**HackerVoice :** By the way Lance how come you were with Keith when he found the cats

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** Yeah I'm curious too

 **Bi-tter :** Ugh that's a long story

 **HackerVoice :** We're listening (ʘ‿ʘ✿)

 **Bi-tter :** Scary little gremlin

 **Bi-tter :** So uh the bus kinda forgot to pass so I asked Keith to take me home

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** You know my moms could totally have come get you we're literally neighbors

 **Bi-tter :** I know but shush I didn't thought that far

 **HackerVoice :** You didn't thought or you wanted to spend time with Keith ? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **Bi-tter :** ANYWAY so he's driving like super fast because he likes that apparently

 **Bi-tter :** And then he just stopped super suddenly and I was like “wtf man why did you stopped” but he just ignored me and left me with his bike and I was very confused

 **Bi-tter :** But THEN when I was about to argue I saw him kneeling down to a little box with “voltron” written on it and they were the cats in it

 **Bi-tter :** And this fucker tried to touch Red but she like bit  & scratched him but Keith didn't move and Red started licking his finger instead of biting it and that was adorable

 **Bi-tter :** Afterwards he looked at me with his big bright eyes and said “Lance I was chosen I'm adopting them” and I swear that's the cutest thing I saw all day

 **Bi-tter :** So he called a vet and you know the rest I think

 **HackerVoice :** HE CALLED THE CATS AFTER THE LIONS OF VOLTRON

 **HackerVoice :** HOW DID I MISSED IT

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** What's Voltron ?

 **HackerVoice :** That's a TV show about 5 space robot lions and their pilots and they can combine into a giant robot named Voltron and if you don't know this show you NEED to watch it

 **Bi-tter :** Hunk I'm coming at your house we're watching it tonight

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** We have class tomorrow I want to sleep man

 **Bi-tter :** Sleep is for the weak

 **HackerVoice :** Sleep is for the weak

 **HackerVoice :** Damnit Lance

 

**Operation Klance**

**HackerVoice send [2 screeshots]**

**HackerVoice :** He's so whipped

 

**Quantum Abyss**

**MulletNinja :** Did I told you I adopted a cat

 **SpaceArcher :** WHAT

 **SpaceArcher :** NO YOU DIDN'T

 **SpaceExplorer :** When ?

 **MulletNinja :** Uh like a few hours ago

 **SpaceArcher :** I WANT PHOTOS

**MulletNinja send [23 photos]**

**MulletNinja :** Mine is Red you can see her on the first photos and she's the best

 **MulletNinja :** Lance adopted Blue, she's the grey one

 **MulletNinja :** Green is the three legged brown cat and Pidge took her

 **MulletNinja :** The fat one, Yellow, was adopted by Hunk

 **MulletNinja :** And I kinda forced Shiro to adopt Black

 **SpaceArcher :** They're adorable !!!

 **SpaceExplorer :** Are

 **SpaceExplorer :** Are their names Voltron references

 **MulletNinja :** Yes

 **MulletNinja :** They were left in a box with voltron written on it I had to do it

 **SpaceExplorer :** I approve

**MulletNinja send [32 photos]**

**MulletNinja :** That was at the shop

 **SpaceArcher :** That's a lot of photos of Lance

 **MulletNinja :** How do you know it's Lance

 **SpaceArcher :** He's the one who was carrying Blue on the others pics

 **MulletNinja :** I have others photos of him with Blue bc that's cute

 **SpaceArcher :** Lance or the cat

 **MulletNinja :** Both

**MulletNinja send [9 photos]**

**SpaceArcher :** OMFG KEITH

 **SpaceExplorer :** Keith, Do you... Do you have like, a crush on this guy ?

 **MulletNinja :** … I won't deny it nor agree with you

 **SpaceArcher :** KEITH

 **SpaceArcher :** I WANT TO KNOW MORE

 **SpaceArcher :** TELL ME E V E R Y T H I N G

 **MulletNinja :** Oh look it's late I have homework to do bye Romelle by Bandor !!

 **SpaceArcher :** KEITH YOU ASSHOLE COME BACK HERE

 **SpaceArcher :** KEITH

 **SpaceExplorer :** Aaaaand he's gone

 **SpaceArcher :** I'm not done with him

 **SpaceExplorer :** We can ask Shiro about Lance ?

 **SpaceArcher :** Already on it

 

**SpaceArcher > SwearingDad**

**SpaceArcher :** Hello Shiro it's Romelle remember me ?

 **SpaceArcher :** I need all the infos you have on a certain Lance

 **SwearingDad :** Hi Romelle but hm, can I ask you why ?

 **SpaceArcher :** Shiro, Keith is basically my brother and Bandor and me would LOVE to have blackmail on his crush on Lance

 **SpaceArcher :** Wait

 **SpaceArcher :** Don't tell me you don't know about that because I just had a conversation with him to prove it

 **SwearingDad :** Are all their friends shipping them, seriously

 **SwearingDad :** I'll add you in the group chat so you could ask Hunk, I don't know a lot about Lance but he's a nice guy

 

**Operation Klance**

**SwearingDad added SpaceArcher to Operation Klance**

**SpaceArcher added SpaceExplorer to Operation Klance**

**HackerVoice :** Shiro who are they

 **SpaceArcher :** Hello everyone !! My name is Romelle and SpaceExplorer is my brother Bandor, we are Keith's friends !

 **SpaceArcher :** I heard my boy had a crush so I'm here

 **HackerVoice :** WHAT

 **HackerVoice :** SO IT'S CONFIRMED

 **Mattress :** Oh Hi Romelle ! I don't know if you remember me, I'm Matt, I was at the brogane house at the same time as you sometimes !

 **SpaceArcher :** Oh yeah I remember !

 **SpaceExplorer :** Are you the one who showed up with a book about how the first moon landing was fake because if that's you I want you to know that they didn't stop talking about that for months and I still have nightmares

 **HackerVoice :** Oh my god you're into conspiracy theories we'll have a lot to discuss later

 **Princess :** Hi ! I'm Allura, and if Keith told you he has a crush we need screenshots

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** I'm Hunk ! Glad to meet you !

 **Shaydorable :** And I'm Shay ! I'm Hunk's girlfriend !

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** <3

 **Shaydorable :** <3

 **SpaceExplorer :** Hello, glad to meet you too !

**SpaceArcher send [3 screenshots]**

**SwearingDad :** “That's a lot of photos of Lance” I said the exact same thing

 **HackerVoice :** Operation Klance, part 2 : check

 **HackerVoice :** Now that we know they're attracted to each other we need to act

 **SwearingDad :** Or we could wait till they confess without meddling

 **SpaceArcher :** Boring

 **SpaceExplorer :** I'm sorry Shiro but hm Keith ? Confessing ? This boy doesn't know what feelings are he'll never make the first move by himself

 **SpaceArcher :** Yeah I love Keith but he's a disaster gay

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** And Lance is persuaded Keith doesn't like him he'll never do anything about that

 **HackerVoice :** True

 **Princess :** So what's our plan of action ?

 **HackerVoice :** I

 **HackerVoice :** I don't know I'll have to think about it

 **Mattress :** If you have any idea feel free to share !

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** I have an idea : We're all going to sleep so that tomorrow we'll not sleep in class. Right now I'm watching Voltron with Lance we're going to be so tired tomorrow ...

 **SwearingDad :** I agree with Hunk

 **SpaceArcher :** Boooring

 

 


	10. Team Voltron

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Team Voltron, conspiration buddies, and a prank

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith : Knife™, Samurai, SpaceCowboy, MulletNinja  
> Lance : Lanceylance, Sharpshooter, Bi-tter  
> Hunk : Sunshine, TheIncredibleHunk  
> Pidge : Pidgeon, Gremlin, HackerVoice  
> Shiro : SpaceDad, Child, SwearingDad  
> Matt : Doormatt, Mattress  
> Allura : SpaceZelda, Princess  
> Shay : Shaydorable  
> Coran : Corn  
> Romelle : Witch, SpaceArcher  
> Bandor : Warrior, SpaceExplorer
> 
>  
> 
> Disaster squad : Keith, Lance, Hunk, Pidge, Shiro, Matt, Allura, Shay  
> The adults™ and their irresponsible kids : Keith, Shiro, Pidge, Matt, Allura  
> The adults™ : Shiro, Matt, Allura  
> School memers : Lance, Hunk, Pidge  
> High school hell : Keith, Lance, Hunk, Pidge, Shay  
> Quantum Abyss : Keith, Romelle, Bandor  
> Operation Klance : Hunk, Pidge, Matt, Allura, Shay, Shiro, Romelle, Bandor  
> Team Voltron : Shiro, Keith, Hunk, Lance, Pidge  
> Conspiracy buddies : Pidge, Keith, Romelle

**MulletNinja added SwearingDad, HackerVoice, Bi-tter and TheIncredibleHunk to Team Voltron**

**MulletNinja :** I know it's like 2 am but I woke up thinking we should have a group chat to talk about the cats if there is a problem so here it is

 **MulletNinja :** Red  & Black appreciation time

**MulletNinja send [6 photos]**

**Bi-tter send [3 photos]**

**Bi-tter :** Blue's still the best

 **SwearingDad :** I was going to complain about it but it's actually a good idea so I won't tell anything

 **HackerVoice :** Keith ? Making a group chat ?

 **MulletNinja :** Ikr

 **SwearingDad :** Am I going to ask you why you are up

 **HackerVoice :** I'm working on rover bc Matt doesn't want me to work of Green's leg without him

 **MulletNinja :** Your illuminati robot ?

 **HackerVoice :** You know it

 **Bi-tter :** I was watching Voltron with Hunk and we just finished season one but Hunk felt asleep and it's boring without him so I'm trying to wake him up quietly

 **SwearingDad :** Don't do that. And go to sleep. You'll regret it tomorrow.

 **MulletNinja :** You mean this morning

 **SwearingDad :** You seem to forget that I can easily take your phone and laptop

 **MulletNinja :** Ugh fine bye

 **MulletNinja :** I hope Black bite you

 

**HackerVoice added MulletNinja and SpaceArcher to Conspiracy buddies**

**HackerVoice :** So I heard my dear friend Keith has another conspiracy buddy and he NEVER TOLD ME

 **MulletNinja :** 1) I hope you know Shiro'll kill me if he knows I'm not sleeping, 2) You were too busy being with Lance  & Hunk to go talk conspiracy theories when Romelle was still here, 3) Why the fuck do you have her number

 **HackerVoice :** 1) What he doesn't know won't hurt him, 2) Whet they don't know couldn't have hurt them, 3) What you don't know won't hurt you

 **MulletNinja :** Why are you like this

 **HackerVoice :** ( ｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

 **SpaceArcher :** While I approve this group chat I'm in class right now so if you have theories spill but I'll read them later

 **HackerVoice :** Why are you in class it's 2 am

 **SpaceArcher :** I have night classes ! I work at a book store during the day

 **MulletNinja :** And you suffer at night

 **SpaceArcher :** Exactly

 **HackerVoice :** Wow I sympathize

 **HackerVoice :** Anyway I have a teacher (Sendak) who's a dick so I decided to prank him without him knowing who did it

**HackerVoice send [1 video]**

**HackerVoice :** It's not finished yet but that's the idea

 **HackerVoice :** I'll strike when Keith is in class with him just in case something goes wrong and he'll help me put a camera in his class because I want to see his reaction  & I'll need visual

 **MulletNinja :** This is genius and even if I should be mad because you included me in you plan without asking me I love it and I'll do it

 **SpaceArcher :** Omfg I want the video too

 **HackerVoice :** Why do you think I made this gc of fucking course you'll have the video

 

**Disaster squad**

**HackerVoice :** Hello my dear followers today is a great day for history

 **Mattress :** Why is Green sleeping on the fucking eggs

 **HackerVoice :** We have great things to do today

 **Mattress :** Pidge I can hear you laughing it's freaking me out what are you up to

 **HackerVoice :** Keith do you remember the plan

 **MulletNinja :** I'm ready and I'm outside your house come on we have yo be there early

 **HackerVoice :** LATER FUCKERS

 **Mattress :** What the fuck just happened

 **SwearingDad :** I don't know Keith left early even if he looked like a zombie

 **SwearingDad :** When I asked him if he slept he just yelled “The crypkids never sleep !” and ran outside

 **Bi-tter :** Why would they go to school THIS early

 **Bi-tter :** I always wait until the last moment to go and I wake up super early everyday

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** I regret watching Voltron until 1am yesterday

 **Bi-tter :** It was only one (1) season

 **Bi-tter** **:** Be ready for the 5 others

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** I'm ready to go back to sleep right now

 **Mattress :** Sleep deprivation because you were watching Voltron is a good way to die

 **Princess :** No it's not good you're supposed to have 8 hours of sleep per day

 **Mattress :** Boring

 **Princess :** It's thanks to my beauty sleep you have a gorgeous girlfriend Matt

 **Mattress :** I mean you're gorgeous even when you're sleep deprived

 **SwearingDad :** True

 **Bi-tter :** True. But beauty sleep is important guys

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** You slept like 4 hours last night

 **Bi-tter :** YeS bUt VoLtRoN

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** I'm pretty sure I felt asleep after the 10 th episode

 **Bi-tter :** You know what

 **Bi-tter :** Saturday

 **Bi-tter :** You, me

 **Bi-tter :** Voltron marathon

 **Bi-tter :** No break until we finish it

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** I'm so going to regret this but ok

 **Bi-tter :** That's why you're my favorite bro

 **Shaydorable :** Hello everyone ! You're up early

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** Shay ! :D

 **Shaydorable :** Hi Hunk  <3

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** <3

 **Bi-tter :** Hunay strikes once more

 **Bi-tter :** ANYWAY I WAS THINKING

 **HackerVoice :** Dangerous

 **Bi-tter :** Where the fuck do you come from

 **SwearingDad :** Language

 **Bi-tter :** Don't tell me what to do

 **Princess :** Be nice to your dad, Lance

 **Bi-tter :** :'(

 **Bi-tter :** So I was thinking and we should play DnD once ! Like, our whole squad !

 **Bi-tter :** As a bonding exercise ! It could be cool !

 **Princess :** That's a excellent idea, Lance !

 **Princess :** My uncle Coran has a lot of stuff to play DnD !

 **Princess :** Well it's a version named Monster and Mana but it's nice too !

 **Bi-tter :** Nice !

 **Mattress :** Yes !! I want to be a badass rebel against the forces of evil

 **Princess :** Are we choosing our characters now ? Because I want to be an archer with magic pets

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** I guess I'll be a mage of something

 **Shaydorable :** Same. I want to be a mage who fight with crystals

 **Bi-tter :** I'll be a cool ninja thief

 **HackerVoice :** Keith  & I are barbarians of course

 **Bi-tter :** Weirdly I am not surprised

 **SwearingDad :** I want to be a paladin

 **Mattress :** Again ??

 **Princess :** Shiro, you're a paladin EACH TIME we play MnM and you always die first. Are you sure you don't want to change for once ?

 **SwearingDad :** But :(

 **HackerVoice :** Yeah you could choose something else for once

 **SwearingDad :** You and Keith always take barbarians I don't see the problem

 **MulletNinja :** Well we don't die after the first monster

 **HackerVoice :** And we have a contest of who will make the most emo character

 **MulletNinja :** Coran gives the winner bonuses and I always win

 **Bi-tter :** That's because you're emo in real life

 **HackerVoice :** That's because he gives emo names to his characters too

 **HackerVoice :** Like Thunderstorm Darkness

 **SwearingDad :** :'(

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** Let the poor guy be a paladin if he wants to

 **SwearingDad :** Thank you Hunk.

 **SwearingDad :** Anyway, you should all be preparing for school/work now

 **HackerVoice :** Already at school

 **MulletNinja :** Same

 **HackerVoice :** Setting our plan up

 **MulletNinja :** Don't tell the dad or he'll ground us

 **Bi-tter :** I'm a little scared of that 'plan'

 **Bi-tter :** And Hunk, Shay  & me are at the bus station right now so we're waiting ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **Mattress :** I want to know what my little sibling is plotting

 **HackerVoice :** You'll know soon enough

 

**HackerVoice > MulletNinja**

**HackerVoice :** Are you ready ? Because I'm ready

 **HackerVoice :** I'm hiding in the bathroom, but I have a visual

 **HackerVoice :** You were right it's a really good spot for the camera

 **HackerVoice :** Wait, is that Lance next to you ? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **MulletNinja :** Yeah

 **HackerVoice :** Ready ? Just yawn or something when I can start

 **MulletNinja :** No wait until he starts yelling at a student

 **MulletNinja :** Like now he looks like he's going to punch this poor girl because she forgot her homework

 **MulletNinja :** Now

 

**Disaster squad**

**Bi-tter :** WHAT THE FUCK

 **Bi-tter :** IS THAT ROVER ??

 **HackerVoice :** Yup

 **Bi-tter :** WHAT THE FUCK PIDGE

 **Bi-tter :** WHAT'S HAPPENING

 **MulletNinja :** I'm wheezinfouehdqi

 **SwearingDad :** Wow Lance calm down and watch your language

 **Mattress :** Explain what's up with rover

 **Bi-tter :** I don't know Sendick was yelling at a girl and then there's a knock at the door

 **Bi-tter :** So the asshole get up and open the door but IT'S ROVER

 **Bi-tter :** AKA PIDGE'S PYRAMIDAL FLYING ROBOT

 **Bi-tter :** And now it's just playing the illuminati's theme in front of all the class but flying too high so Sendick can't reach it and it's driving him nuts

 **Bi-tter :** Man I should have taken a video

 **HackerVoice :** Who do you take me for I have put a camera at the bottom of the classroom with Keith this morning

 **Bi-tter :** Speaking of Keith he's laughing so hard he can't breath/type

 **HackerVoice :** I know I'm watching you (◉ ͜ʖ◉)

 **Bi-tter :** Creepy

 **SwearingDad :** Do we want to know how you set a camera up without the teacher noticing

 **HackerVoice :** Keith picked the lock of the classroom before Sendak came and we used this time to prepare everything

 **HackerVoice :** That's why we were here early

 **Bi-tter :** Wait

 **Bi-tter :** Now he's reciting a conspiracy theory about illuminati, the government and how Sendak is biased

 **Mattress :** Pidge I have never been as PROUD of you as I am now

 **SwearingDad :** What did I failed in your education kids …

 **MulletNinja :** Don't say that like you never pranked your teachers I remember the post-it accident Shiro

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** Post-it accident ?

 **Mattress :** Oooooh I remember !

 **Princess :** Shiro was mad at a teacher for failing his assignment once so he sticked post-it in this teacher's classroom

 **Mattress :** There was so many post-it we couldn't see the walls anymore

 **Princess :** Hira was so mad she got him suspended

 **Mattress :** I still have the video of Hira's reaction it was golden

 **MulletNinja :** You see we're following in your footsteps but we're better because we won't get caught

 **Bi-tter :** Matt, my man, my pal, my meme buddy, I want that video or it didn't happened

 **Mattress :** Wait a sec

**Mattress send [1 video]**

**Bi-tter :** zahduliqssdjfcoazdlmqskxwpom

 **SwearingDad :** Matt …

 **MulletNinja :** Update : Rover's gone and Sendick look like he's going to explode

 **Bi-tter :** And half the class is trying to breath after laughing too hard

 **HackerVoice :** That was worth it

 

**Conspiracy buddies**

**HackerVoice send [1 video]**

**HackerVoice :** Here you go fellow human being

 **SpaceArcher :** feoiqsjapqsmdjwxlkjs thank you you made my day

 **SpaceArcher :** I can see Keith dying

 **SpaceArcher :** Keith why the fuck would you go at the first row

 **MulletNinja :** Because I can't see the board without my glasses

 **SpaceArcher :** Put your glasses on ?

 **MulletNinja :** Eh no I look like shit with glasses

 **HackerVoice :** Yes and the guy next to him is Lance by the way ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **SpaceArcher :** Oh ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **SpaceArcher :** This explain so much ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **MulletNinja :** What

 **SpaceArcher :** Nothing. This is … Interesting. That's all. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **SpaceArcher :** I may be a lesbian I can still tell you have good taste

 **MulletNinja :** Oh look at the time I need to go BYE ROMELLE

 **SpaceArcher :** Why is he running away his feelings

 **HackerVoice :** That's Keith what did you expect

 **HackerVoice :** Plus I know he's still in class I can see his mullet with the camera

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Season 7 spoilers are giving me anxiety zdoijlsjcpoqsdkl


	11. Prank war

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short prank war, secrets and plush

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith : Knife™, Samurai, SpaceCowboy, MulletNinja  
> Lance : Lanceylance, Sharpshooter, Bi-tter  
> Hunk : Sunshine, TheIncredibleHunk  
> Pidge : Pidgeon, Gremlin, HackerVoice  
> Shiro : SpaceDad, Child, SwearingDad  
> Matt : Doormatt, Mattress  
> Allura : SpaceZelda, Princess  
> Shay : Shaydorable  
> Coran : Corn  
> Romelle : Witch, SpaceArcher  
> Bandor : Warrior, SpaceExplorer
> 
>  
> 
> Disaster squad : Keith, Lance, Hunk, Pidge, Shiro, Matt, Allura, Shay  
> The adults™ and their irresponsible kids : Keith, Shiro, Pidge, Matt, Allura  
> The adults™ : Shiro, Matt, Allura  
> School memers : Lance, Hunk, Pidge  
> High school hell : Keith, Lance, Hunk, Pidge, Shay  
> Quantum Abyss : Keith, Romelle, Bandor  
> Operation Klance : Hunk, Pidge, Matt, Allura, Shay, Shiro, Romelle, Bandor  
> Team Voltron : Shiro, Keith, Hunk, Lance, Pidge  
> Conspiracy buddies : Pidge, Keith, Romelle

**Bi-tter > MulletNinja**

**Bi-tter :** Keith psssst

 **MulletNinja :** Wtf Lance you're just sitting next to me why are you texting

 **Bi-tter :** Cause if we start talking while Sendak is having his tantrum he's going to yell at us

 **MulletNinja :** I guess you're right

 **Bi-tter :** So uh

 **Bi-tter :** Are you alright ? You became pretty red all of a sudden

 **MulletNinja :** I'm fINE

 **MulletNinja :** It's just Pidge being as embarrassing gremlin

 **Bi-tter :** I know that feeling

 

**Disaster squad**

**Bi-tter :** FINALLY free

 **HackerVoice :** Without Sendak knowing who did this

 **MulletNinja :** Yeah Shiro THIS is how you're supposed to prank someone

 **SwearingDad :** You want to see a TRUE prank ?

 **HackerVoice :** Like you could do one

 **SwearingDad :** Matt, help me they're going to regret this

 **Mattress :** Yes !!

 **MulletNinja :** ( ง'̀-‘́)ง

 **Princess :** The crypkids vs shatt

 **HackerVoice :** The crypkids vs shitt

 **Princess :** 10 bucks Shatt will win

 **Mattress :** Aw princess  <3

 **Bi-tter :** You don't know Pidge

 **Bi-tter :** Their pranks are freaking dreadful

 **Bi-tter :** 10 bucks they win

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** Oh are we taking sides ?

 **Shaydorable :** 10 bucks for shatt

 **HackerVoice :** Why

 **Shaydorable :** They look like they have an history of pranks behind them but they don't tell us because they want to give a good example

 **MulletNinja :** Maybe that's true for Shiro but Matt will give you the list of all their pranks  & detentions if you ask him

 **Mattress :** I mean,,, yeah totally

 **HackerVoice :** Hunk ? Which side are you ?

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** Do I really have to

 **HackerVoice :** Yes

 **MulletNinja :** Yes

 **Mattress :** yes

 **SwearingDad :** Yes

 **Princess :** Yes

 **Bi-tter :** Yes

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** Shay ?

 **Shaydorable :** Yes

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** [sigh]

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** 10 bucks for shatt, I guess

 **HackerVoice :** top 10 anime betrayals

 **Bi-tter :** I'm going to win 30 bucks ( งಠ_ಠ)ง

 **Princess :** You're so going to loose

 **Mattress :** Wow I honestly didn't though we'll have so many fans

 **Shaydorable :** We're not fans, we just think you're the type to be good at pranking

 **Mattress :** Same difference

 **HackerVoice :** So the bets

 **HackerVoice :** 30 bucks on Shitt (Allura, Shay, Hunk) and 10 bucks for the best team (Lance)

 **MulletNinja :** You know I already have ideas

 **HackerVoice :** We're going to need a plan

 **MulletNinja :** Crypkids meeting after school ?

 **HackerVoice :** Crypkids meeting after school.

 **HackerVoice :** They're going down.

 **Bi-tter :** Pidge is serious guys I don't know why you think they'll loose

 **Bi-tter :** Once I started a prank war with them I quit after 2 days

 **Princess :** Last time Keith  & Shiro did a prank war Shiro won.

 **Mattress :** Yeah you wouldn't know when you see him but he's a little shit if you know him

 **MulletNinja :** I'm still mad at him for that time when he cut my hair in my sleep

 **Bi-tter :** YUGIUHALIZDJSQ HE FUCKING WHAT

 **MulletNinja :** He cut my perfectly fine hair in my fucking sleep

 **Bi-tter :** OMFG PICS OR IT DIDN'T HAPPENED

**SwearingDad send [5 photos]**

**SwearingDad :** I have photos of him with very very long hair but he didn't want to cut it so I did it myself

 **Bi-tter :** Is this how the mullet appeared

 **Bi-tter :** Why Keith you could just go to the hairdresser and

 **Bi-tter :** boom

 **Bi-tter :** Here you go a normal haircut

 **MulletNinja :** I like my hair ok ?

 **MulletNinja :** Plus I don't trust anybody with scissors near my face

 **Mattress :** Are we all forgetting how Keith reacted after that

 **SwearingDad :** Yes

 **SwearingDad :** Let's not talk about it

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** What did he do

 **HackerVoice :** Didn't he, like, cut all the sleeves of shiro's shirts ?

 **Mattress :** And replace all his pants by pink pants

 **SwearingDad :** [long suffering sigh] Mom didn't even punished him for that

 **MulletNinja :** I mean you cut my hair in my sleep and I was the favorite

 **HackerVoice :** That's how their prank wars started

 **Bi-tter :** Ok I already had prank wars with my siblings but this is a completely different level of prank

 **HackerVoice :** Don't mess with us and everything will be alright (◕‿◕✿)

 **MulletNinja :** Just one rule : Don't include the cats in the pranks

 **MulletNinja :** I know Matt would shave Red if he could

 **Mattress :** Shit

 **SwearingDad :** Ok at one condition

 **SwearingDad :** We don't mess with the clothes

 **HackerVoice :** And the winners can ask whatever they wants from the losers

 **MulletNinja :** Deal

 **HackerVoice :** Deal

 **Mattress :** Fine

 **SwearingDad :** Be ready to loose

 

**MulletNinja > HackerVoice**

**MulletNinja :** Operation “lighting granddad” : begin

 **MulletNinja :** The arm's ready, but I don't think he'll see it until tomorrow night

 **MulletNinja :** We're going to make it quick and good.

 **HackerVoice :** Be brave

 **HackerVoice :** And take a video of his reaction

 **MulletNinja :** We just have to wait till tomorrow now

 

**Disaster squad**

**HackerVoice :** WHAT THE FUCK MATT

 **Mattress :** (◡‿◡✿)

 **Bi-tter :** What did they do

 **Bi-tter :** They started the prank war already ?

 **HackerVoice :** This fucker put SALT in my PEANNUT BUTTER

 **HackerVoice :** I regret so much we decided to start with Shiro

 **MulletNinja :** Sorry I had these ideas since forever I didn't want to miss an opportunity because Matt gave up before we could do anything

 **Mattress :** Wait what

 **Mattress :** where's Shiro

 **MulletNinja :** Taking his shower

 **HackerVoice :** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **MulletNinja :** Ho here is the scream

 **Mattress :** … What did you do

 **Princess :** What did you do

 **Bi-tter :** Whatever you did I want a photo/video

 **SwearingDad :** WHAT

 **SwearingDad :** THE

 **SwearingDad :** FUCKQUIZNACKAZDIIJDSLCKJCOIXWLKJ

 **SwearingDad :** KEITH

 **SwearingDad :** I SWEAR TO GOD

 **MulletNinja :** Before you ask yeah I'm still mad a you for cutting my hair that night.

 **MulletNinja :** Now get out of the shower I want to see AND take a shower too

 **SwearingDad :** I'm going to kill you

 **Mattress :** WHAT HAPPENED

 **Mattress :** What did you do to make SHIRO swear ??

 **Princess :** Just Keith being Keith ?

 **HackerVoice :** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **Bi-tter :** I'm a little afraid for Shiro now

**MulletNinja send [3 photos]**

**MulletNinja :** Sorry they're a little blurry but he wouldn't stop moving

 **Mattress :** Did

 **Mattress :** Did you just DYE HIS HAIR WHITE ???

 **MulletNinja :** Me ? No no, I just maybe accidentally put hair tint in his shampoo

 **Princess :** Don't worry Kashi you're beautiful like that too  <3

 **SwearingDad :** I quit

 **SwearingDad :** I give up the prank war it's been one day and Keith won

 **Mattress :** WHAT

 **SwearingDad :** I'm sorry he's too powerful

 **HackerVoice :** And the crypkids won again

 **MulletNinja :** He didn't even wait to see his arm

 **SwearingDad :** What did you do with my arm

 **MulletNinja :** Try to put it in the dark

 **Mattress :** I'm so disappointed right now

 **Princess :** I can't believe I lost a bet

 **Bi-tter :** I can't believe I won a bet

 **Bi-tter :** Can't wait to say it to Hunk and Shay

 **SwearingDad :** Why is my arm glowing Keith

 **MulletNinja :** I may or may not have accidentally dive your arm in a glow-in-the-dark paint pot

 **SwearingDad :** I hate you

 **MulletNinja :** Oh look at the time !! I have to go to class BYE

 **SwearingDad :** Yeah run away when you still can

 

**Disaster gay**

**TheIncredibleHunk :** What did we miss

 **Bi-tter :** You lost a bet

 **Shaydorable :** I saw a photo of shiro with white hair I don't want to know

 

**High school hell**

**Bi-tter :** Bii-boh-bi is now my favorite teacher

 **MulletNinja :** Who the fuck is bii-boh-bi

 **HackerVoice :** Weird name

 **Bi-tter :** You can't talk about weird names Pidgeon Gunderson

 **Bi-tter :** He's my drama teacher

 **Bi-tter :** He gave me the loverboy role for our next play so I'm happy

 **Shaydorable :** That's nice !! Congrats !

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** Aw I knew you'll have the role !!

 **MulletNinja :** I didn't knew you were in the drama club ?

 **Bi-tter :** There's a lot of things you don't know about me ;)

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** Yeah like how he can't sleep without his shark plush

 **HackerVoice :** And how he has curly hair but straighten it each morning

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** And how he only choose kirby when playing super smash bros

 **HackerVoice :** Or that time he bought so many dominos to make a giant circuit with his brother and was grounded for a week

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** Oh and when he was stuck in the freezer at Walmart !

 **Bi-tter :** STOP EXPOSING ME

 **Bi-tter :** PIDGE HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT

 **HackerVoice :** I hacked into your social medias who do you take me for

 **MulletNinja :** … Wow

 **MulletNinja :** Is all of that true ?

 **HackerVoice :** I have evidences

 **Bi-tter :** What is it, roast lance day ?

 **HackerVoice :** Everyday is roast lance day

 **TheIncredibleHunk :** Everyday is “Pidge roast who the hell she wants” day

 **HackerVoice :** True

 

 

**MulletNinja > Bi-tter**

**MulletNinja :** If that make feel better I sleep with a plush too

 **MulletNinja :** And Shiro won't stop roasting me about that

 **Bi-tter :** Really ??

 **Bi-tter :** Keith super-dark-emo-and-edgy-and-top-of-his-class Kogane ? Sleeping with a plush ??

 **MulletNinja :** You do the same thing why are you making fun of me ?

 **Bi-tter :** No I'm just,,, surprised that's all

 **Bi-tter :** I'm not making fun of you I just find it precious

 **Bi-tter :** What does it look like ? Your teddy I mean ?

 **MulletNinja :** … Purple hippo

 **Bi-tter :** Mine is a blue shark with only one eye because the other one mysteriously disappeared when I was 6

 **Bi-tter :** Her name is Bubble

 **MulletNinja :** Why bubble ?

 **Bi-tter :** Because !! It's cute and you can't tell bubble in a threatening way

 **MulletNinja :** I'm sure I can

 **Bi-tter :** Sure you can samurai

 **Bi-tter :** And what's your hippo name ?

 **MulletNinja :** … Marmora.

 **Bi-tter :** What does that mean

 **MulletNinja :** I have no idea my dad just told me it was my first word or something like that

 **Bi-tter :** You named your plush after your first word that's so fucking cute

 **Bi-tter :** I MEAN DUMB THAT'S DUMB

 **Bi-tter :** Fucking autocorrect aha

 **MulletNinja :** You named your shark Bubble you can't criticize Marmora's name

 **Bi-tter :** Sure I can samurai

 **MulletNinja :** fuck u

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly don't know if I'm going to continue this fic because hm,,, adashi please I love this ship  
> I had a lot of ideas for the prank war but didn't knew how to do ti by text & honestly I started a big prank war but it was boring in the end so I shortened it-  
> Also I had a problem with my laptop (a "my computer reset without warning and now I lost all my data" problem) so I have to re-write what I already wrote and I honestly don't know when I'll post the next chapter :/ Sorry !


	12. Bad puns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bad puns, disaster gay, and honestly the gc is just a mess now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith : Knife™, Samurai, SpaceCowboy, MulletNinja, Gaylien  
> Lance : Lanceylance, Sharpshooter, Bi-tter  
> Hunk : Sunshine, TheIncredibleHunk, Pandroid  
> Pidge : Pidgeon, Gremlin, HackerVoice, Acethetics  
> Shiro : SpaceDad, Child, SwearingDad, Bironic  
> Matt : Doormatt, Mattress, Fabilous  
> Allura : SpaceZelda, Princess, Pantastic  
> Shay : Shaydorable, Panarchy, Shyshay  
> Coran : Corn  
> Romelle : Witch, SpaceArcher, Lesbabe  
> Bandor : Warrior, SpaceExplorer, Gaymer
> 
>  
> 
> Disaster squad : Keith, Lance, Hunk, Pidge, Shiro, Matt, Allura, Shay  
> The adults™ and their irresponsible kids : Keith, Shiro, Pidge, Matt, Allura  
> The adults™ : Shiro, Matt, Allura  
> School memers : Lance, Hunk, Pidge  
> High school hell : Keith, Lance, Hunk, Pidge, Shay  
> Quantum Abyss : Keith, Romelle, Bandor  
> Operation Klance : Hunk, Pidge, Matt, Allura, Shay, Shiro, Romelle, Bandor  
> Team Voltron : Shiro, Keith, Hunk, Lance, Pidge  
> Conspiracy buddies : Pidge, Keith, Romelle

**Quantum abyss**

**MulletNinja :** Gays I have a problem

**SpaceArcher :** Gay problem ?

**MulletNinja :** Gay problem.

**SpaceArcher changed their name to Lesbabe**

**Lesbabe changed SpaceExplorer's name to Gaymer**

**Lesbabe changed MulletNinja's name to Gaylien**

**Gaymer :** That's the worst username you could have come with

**Lesbabe :** I know, thank you :)

**Gaylien :** SO

**Gaymer :** Tell us everything

**Gaylien :** So I have a crush on that guy, Lance, right

**Lesbabe :** Yeah we know

**Gaylien :** And I'm a disaster gay, right

**Gaymer :** Yeah we know

**Gaylien :** And I don't know what to do about that

**Gaylien :** Because,, at first I just thought I would get over it in a few days like my previous crushes but

**Gaylien :** No

**Gaylien :** What should I do

**Lesbabe :** We actually already had a long conversation about your problem

**Gaylien :** Oh my god

**Lesbabe :** Attention, please

**Lesbabe :** [ahem]

**Lesbabe :** JUST ASK HIM OUT

**Gaymer :** YOU'LL NEVER START A RELATIONSHIP IF YOU DON'T TRY

**Lesbabe :** Because we know you didn't plan to do the first move

**Gaylien :** That's because he doesn't like me I won't do the first move with someone I'm 100% sure doesn't like me

**Gaylien :** I want help to make /him/ like /me/

**Gaylien :** Or at least tolerate me because sometimes I feel like he hates my guts

**Gaymer :** What if he likes you but thinks you don't like him so he don't do the first move and wait for you to do it ?

**Gaylien :** What

**Lesbabe :** Yeah that's possible

**Gaymer :** I mean I'm sure you have your chances but just don't see them

**Lesbabe :** You and him need to communicate. You can't have a healthy relationship without communication

**Lesbabe :** I'm sure he doesn't hate you, he probably think /you/ hate him so he react as if he hates you too but really doesn't

**Gaymer :** Like you're probably doing actually

**Gaylien :** … I'll think about it.

**Lesbabe :** YES !!

 

**HackerVoice > Mattress**

**HackerVoice :** So

**HackerVoice :** Winners can ask whatever they want from the losers  >:)

**HackerVoice send [1 photo]**

**HackerVoice :** That's a list of things I want you to buy

**Mattress :** You wrote peanut butter 3 times

**HackerVoice :** (⌐■_■)

**Mattress :** Fine I'll go after work -_-

 

**Disaster squad**

**Bi-tter :** Wow why is nobody talking here it's unusual

**HackerVoice :** You talk as if we had this gc for years but I created it like 2 weeks ago

**Bi-tter :** I know but I'm in class with Sven and it's just sooo boring

**Princess :** I feel you. This teacher isn't bad or mean but so boring, I had him for 2 years and it was enough for me.

**Mattress :** I never had him but I remember Allura complaining about him

**SwearingDad :** I had him for a year. I was literally playing cards with Allura all year and he never noticed.

**SwearingDad :** WEIRDLY Slav love this teacher.

**SwearingDad :** One more reason to hate him

**Gaylien :** Wow Shiro patience yields focus

**SwearingDad :** Don't 'patience yields focus' me Keith it's my line

**Bi-tter :** Why is Keith's username a gay pun

**Gaylien :** Why is your username a bi pun

**Bi-tter :** Touche

**HackerVoice :** I approve your username Keith

**Gaylien :** Thank you Romelle chose it for me

**Bi-tter :** ANYWAY what are you all doing in this fine day ?

**Gaylien :** Class

**HackerVoice :** Same

**Princess :** Matt, Shiro and I are working but it's pretty quiet right now

**TheIncredibleHunk :** Shay and I are in culinary class with professor Sal and it's a mess he clearly doesn't know how to cook

**Shaydorable :** Yeah so Hunk and I are making pan puns since the beginning of the class

**Shaydorable :** Actually if we are making lgbt+ pun usernames

**Shaydorable changed TheIncredibleHunk's name to Pandroid**

**Shaydorable changed their username to Panarchy**

**Princess :** Oh ! I want a pan pun username too !

**Panarchy changed Princess's name to Pantastic**

**Pantastic :** Perfect I love it thank you

**Panarchy :** You're welcome

**Mattress changed their name to Fabilous**

**Gaylien changed SwearingDad's name to Bironic**

**Bironic :** Keith why

**Gaylien :** ¯\\_( ツ)_/¯ Didn't want my brother to be the only one without a lgbt pun in his username

**HackerVoice changed their name to Acethetics**

**Acethetics :** I can't believe I'm the last to change my name

**Pandroid :** I think I'm already lost

**Pandroid :** Can somebody tell who is who please ?

**Pandroid :** I'm Hunk btw

**Gaylien :** Keith here

**Bi-tter :** Lance here

**Acethetics :** I'm the best Holt

**Fabilous :** I'm the better Holt

**Acethetics :** That's not true he's the worst

**Bironic :** I'm Shiro. And Pidge don't be rude to your brother

**Pantastic :** I'm Allura !

**Panarchy :** I'm your girlfriend.

**Pandroid :** <3

**Panarchy :** <3

**Pantastic :** Hunay is so pure

**Bironic :** Yeah we can't really be a pure couple with Matt

**Fabilous :** Hey !

**Fabilous :** I know you're glad to have me.

**Bironic :** Yes I am  <3

**Pantastic :** Of course we are  <3

**Fabilous :** <3

**Acethetics :** Ew, love

**Gaylien :** I can't believe they're more couples than single people in this gc

**Acethetics :** Somehow I can

**Acethetics :** Soon you'll be in a relationship too and I'll be aaaaall alone against the love

**Bi-tter :** Are you forgetting me ?

**Acethetics :** Something tells me you'll be in a relationship when Keith will be anyway ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

**Operation klance**

**Fabilous :** You're not discreet Pidge

**Acethetics :** Please they're too dense to see anything

**Gaymer :** What happened ?

**Lesbabe :** Omg I love your usernames

**Acethetics :** Thanks yours are cool too

**Pandroid send [4 screenshots]**

**Pandroid :** This is what happened

**Lesbabe :** Dissapointed

**Lesbabe :** Something better happened to us

**Lesbabe send [2 screenshots]**

**Acethetics :** Disaster gay

**Fabilous :** Such a disaster

**Bironic :** I can't believe he came to YOU to ask relationship advice when he could have ask his older brother who's in a beautiful relationship with two people

**Acethetics :** Somehow I can believe

**Gaymer :** Yeah me too

**Lesbabe :** We have a gay agreement

**Lesbabe :** if someone has a love life they had to tell the others so we can tease each other

**Gaymer :** Gay support

**Lesbabe :** ¯\\_( ツ)_/¯

 

**Disaster squad**

**Bi-tter :** Actually these names are great and all but the bi and pan ones are so confusing so I'll change them

**Bit-tter changed their name to LanceyLance**

**LanceyLance changed Pandroid's name to Sunshine**

**LanceyLance changed Bironic's name to SpaceDad**

**LanceyLance changed Fabilous's name to Mattress**

**LanceyLance changed Pantastic's name to Princess**

**LanceyLance changed Panarchy's name to Shaydorable**

**LanceyLance :** Back to the originals™

**Shaydorable :** Actually

**Shaydorable :** I'd like to change

**Shaydorable changed their name to Shyshay**

**Shyshay :** Because why not

**LanceyLance :** By the way Matt I was wondering

**LanceyLance :** Doormatt, mattress …

**LanceyLance :** Why these usernames

**LanceyLance :** Is it just puns with your name or is there something we should know about it ?

**Mattress :** They're just puns

**SpaceDad :** Once Matt and I were drunk and when we came home he kinda passed out in the middle of the living room while I slept on the couch and when Keith woke up he stepped on him because he hadn't see him

**Sunshine :** wtf

**Gaylien :** I was still sleepy and hadn't drink my morning coffee

**Gaylien :** Plus the high-pinched scream he did was hilarious I just regret not having a video

**Acethetics :** I regret that too

**Princess :** So Shiro CAN get drunk :o

**Mattress :** Oh yes he just never drink because he get drunk really easily

**Gaylien :** Because when he did he's a mess

**Gaylien :** He came out to me only because he was drunk

**SpaceDad :** Please I have a reputation

**Acethetics :** What reputation

**LanceyLance :** The dad reputation

**Mattress :** The “I'm the responsible one” reputation

**SpaceDad :** This is biphobia

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know we were making pan puns with my sister and ... ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	13. Train tickets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just Keith being impulsive and laser game

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith : Knife™, Samurai, SpaceCowboy, MulletNinja, Gaylien  
> Lance : Lanceylance, Sharpshooter, Bi-tter  
> Hunk : Sunshine, TheIncredibleHunk, Pandroid, Mom  
> Pidge : Pidgeon, Gremlin, HackerVoice, Acethetics  
> Shiro : SpaceDad, Child, SwearingDad, Bironic  
> Matt : Doormatt, Mattress, Fabilous  
> Allura : SpaceZelda, Princess, Pantastic  
> Shay : Shaydorable, Panarchy, Shyshay  
> Coran : Corn  
> Romelle : Witch, SpaceArcher, Lesbabe  
> Bandor : Warrior, SpaceExplorer, Gaymer
> 
>  
> 
> Disaster squad : Keith, Lance, Hunk, Pidge, Shiro, Matt, Allura, Shay  
> The adults™ and their irresponsible kids : Keith, Shiro, Pidge, Matt, Allura  
> The adults™ : Shiro, Matt, Allura  
> School memers : Lance, Hunk, Pidge  
> High school hell : Keith, Lance, Hunk, Pidge, Shay  
> Quantum Abyss : Keith, Romelle, Bandor  
> Operation Klance : Hunk, Pidge, Matt, Allura, Shay, Shiro, Romelle, Bandor  
> Team Voltron : Shiro, Keith, Hunk, Lance, Pidge  
> Conspiracy buddies : Pidge, Keith, Romelle

**Quantum Abyss**

**Lesbabe :** Omg Keith

**Gaymer :** Keith where are you

**Gaymer :** We have news

**Gaylien :** What

**Gaylien :** What's happening it's like 2am

**Lesbabe :** It's 7am Keith.

**Gaylien :** Yeah and it's saturday and I don't have work the morning which means I went to sleep like 3 hours ago

**Lesbabe :** ANYWAY YOUR SLEEP CAN WAIT WE HAVE NEW CALL US

**Group call started at 07:12**

**Group call ended at 07:48**

**Gaylien :** I can't fucking believe it

**Lesbabe :** You better be

**Gaylien :** I'll have to talk to shiro about that but wow

**Gaylien :** I so so so happy for you guys

**Gaymer :** I know !! I'll still be in a wheelchair but !! I'm so happy right now

**Gaylien :** I'm already buying a train ticket

**Gaymer :** Shouldn't you ask Shiro before ?

**Gaylien :** Did you forgot I have no impulse control

**Lesbabe :** True

 

**Gaylien > SpaceDad**

**Gaylien :** Hello Shiro how are you in this fine morning

**SpaceDad :** What the quiznak Keith

**SpaceDad :** 1) you went to sleep at like 4am why are you up at 8

**SpaceDad :** 2) you know I'm at work right now which means I'm dealing with shitty customers so this morning is not fine

**Gaylien :** Well actually

**Gaylien :** Romelle and Bandor woke me up

**Gaylien :** To tell me news

**Gaylien :** Good news

**SpaceDad :** Yeah, and … ?

**Gaylien :** and I bought train ticket to go see them

**SpaceDad :** You fucking what

**Gaylien :** Language

**SpaceDad :** WHY

**SpaceDad :** DID YOU NOT THINK IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO ASK YOUR LEGAL GUARDIAN BEFORE ??

**Gaylien :** I WAS EXCITED BECAUSE BANDOR IS FINALLY ALLOWED OUT OF THE HOSPITAL FOR THE FIRST TIME IN FOREVER

**Gaylien :** AND I promised them I'll be here when Bandor'll be able to go outside

**Gaylien :** I'll sleep at Romelle's ! And I promise I'll do all my homework before leaving

**Gaylien :** Please

**SpaceDad :** Keith, you know I would have say yes if you asked me before

**SpaceDad :** And yes, you can if that's the weekend

**SpaceDad :** But I want you to just, ask me before you do irresponsible decisions like that. We already talked about that.

**Gaylien :** Fine

**Gaylien :** I'll leave next friday at 10pm and be back at 4pm sunday

**SpaceDad :** We'll talk about it later. Now go back to sleep, I don't want you in zombie mode this afternoon.

 

**The adults™ and their irresponsible kids**

**Mattress :** Ok why is Shiro giving Keith the disappointed dad look first thing in the afternoon

**Gaylien :** I am a disappointment.

**SpaceDad :** You're not. You're just an impulsive little shit

**Gaylien :** Language, Shiro

**Acethetics :** Language, dad

**Princess :** Language, Kashi

**Mattress :** Language, love

**SpaceDad :** IS EVERYBODY AGAINST ME TODAY

**Gaylien :** Yes

**SpaceDad :** I blame you

**Gaylien :** ¯\\_( ツ)_/¯

**Mattress :** So what impulsive mess did Keith did this time

**SpaceDad :** Oh, nothing

**SpaceDad :** Just buying train tickets to go see his friends who live at The Colony WITHOUT ASKING HIS BROTHER AND LEGAL GUARDIAN

**Acethetics :** The Colony ?

**Gaylien :** Yeah that's a weird name for a city I know

**Gaylien :** It's hella far away

**Mattress :** Somehow I'm not even surprised

**Princess :** I mean yeah that's Keith he would do that

**Mattress :** Remember that time he went cryptid hunting alone in the middle on the night because he felt like this and Shiro freaked out when he found out his brother disappeared in the morning

**SpaceDad :** [sigh] I remember.

**Acethetics :** He went cryptid hunting WITHOUT ME ???

**Gaylien :** To be fair I tried to call you but you were sleeping

**Gaylien :** I think

**Acethetics :** Top 10 anime betrayal

**Gaylien :** You know what ? I'm going back to work.

**SpaceDad :** You better be.

 

**Operation Klance**

**Acethetics :** So I was thinking

**Acethetics :** And we totally need a word for when klance happen in the main group chat

**Acethetics :** I was thinking of OK in caps for operation klance

**Lesbabe :** I don't think that's really discreet

**Acethetics :** Any idea ?

**Lesbabe :** Kick

**Mattress :** Kick ? Why kick ?

**Lesbabe :** K(lance) I(s) C(anon) K(ing)

**Lesbabe :** AND Keith will probably think you want to fight or something like that

**Gaymer :** So oblivious

**Shyshay :** I guess it's our slogan for operation klance now

**Mattress :** Yeah that's actually pretty cool

**Acethetics :** Romelle, you're a genius

**Lesbabe :** I know, I know, thank you

 

**Disaster squad**

**LanceyLance :** Today is saturday, 5pm

**LanceyLance :** Hunk and I have finished Voltron

**Sunshine :** We've been watching it since this morning my eyes hurt so much now

**Acethetics :** About time

**Acethetics :** You liked it ?

**LanceyLance :** Yeah it was so freaking cool

**LanceyLance :** But the red  & blue paladin are so in love how can they be so oblivious of their feelings I don't get it

**Mattress :** Pidge just choked

**Gaylien :** Shiro too ??

**Acethetics :** Tell me Lance who's your favorite character ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**LanceyLance :** The blue paladin obviously

**LanceyLance :** I relate so much to Leandro

**Acethetics :** Funny, Keith's favorite is the red one ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**LanceyLance :** I don't know what you're up to but I don't like that

**Gaylien :** ???

**Acethetics :** And you just appear to ship Leandro and Akira ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Mattress :** Can we say kick now ?

**Shyshay :** Oh yeah kick

**Acethetics :** Totally kick

**Princess :** Definitely kick

**Gaylien :** Did I missed a clue ?

**SpaceDad :** Oh my god Keith you're so dense sometimes

**Gaylien :** ???

**Acethetics :** You'll understand when you'll be older Keith

**Gaylien :** You're like 2 years younger than me

**Acethetics :** Still

**LanceyLance :** I hate you sometimes

**Acethetics :** No you don't

**LanceyLance :** Are you sure about that

**SpaceDad :** No, no fighting in the gc thank you

**Sunshine :** Yes please be kind to each other

**LanceyLance :** We just found the true mom of the gc

**LanceyLance changed Sunshine's name to Mom**

**Mom :** I can't really disagree with you

**LanceyLance :** I know I know I'm always right

**Gaylien :** Except that time you though you could take me in a sword fight and I beat your sorry ass

**SpaceDad :** Please tell me it wasn't at school

**Gaylien :** Yeah it was at school who do you take us for I brought plastic laser saber and I won

**LanceyLance :** I still want a revenge

**LanceyLance :** I could totally beat your ass at laser game

**Gaylien :** Yeah whatever

**LanceyLance :** Oh you don't believe me ?

**LanceyLance :** What time do you finish work

**Gaylien :** What the fuck

**Acethetics :** He finishes at 7 ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**LanceyLance :** Fine cool I'm taking you at laser game at 7 be ready to eat the ground mullet

**Gaylien :** You pay ?

**LanceyLance :** Yeah

**Gaylien :** Free laser game ? I'm in.

**LanceyLance :** Fine.

**Gaylien :** Fine.

**Princess :** … Did they just-

**Shyshay :** I think they just.

**Mom :** I can't believe it.

**SpaceDad :** Nothing surprise me anymore.

**Acethetics :** Kick.

**Mattress :** Kick.

 

**Operation Klance**

**Acethetics :** So Keith and Lance will go on a date at 7.

**Lesbabe :** Excuse me they WHAT

**Gaymer :** Finally

**SpaceDad :** Do you honestly think they think of it as a date

**Mom :** Probably not.

**Acethetics :** But we've been know

**Acethetics :** We have eyes and ears everywhere

**Mattress :** We're going to eavesdrop on them right

**Acethetics :** Obviously

**SpaceDad :** Don't. Don't meddle. Let them have their fun

**SpaceDad :** That's not gonna work if you meddle all the time.

**Acethetics :** But that worked with you

**SpaceDad :** … What

**Acethetics :** Keith  & I would always meddle when you were dating Matt and you two were too dense to see Allura liked you too

**Mattress :** Yeah and you weren't really cautious

**SpaceDad :** How could I not see you

**Acethetics :** Because you were dense.

**Princess :** Shiro I love you but yes, you were so oblivious

**SpaceDad :** I … If you say so.

**SpaceDad :** But I still don't want you to meddle with my brother love's life. Let him struggle with it a bit.

**Lesbabe :** And I thought Shiro was worried about him

**SpaceDad :** He dyed my hair white, Romelle.

**SpaceDad :** WHITE.

**Gaymer :** Oh my god

**Lesbabe :** Well yeah I would be a little mad if Bandor did this to me, too.

**Acethetics :** Ugh, FINE. No meddling.

**Mattress :** You're making us sad, Kashi :'(

 

**Gaymer > Lesbabe**

**Gaymer :** Do you think Keith did that because of all our jokes about how Shiro would look more like a dad with white hair

**Lesbabe :** Yeah let's not tell Shiro about this

 

**Disaster squad**

**LanceyLance :** Today is a great day

**LanceyLance :** I, Lance Charles Macclain, beat Keith Kogane at laser game

**Gaylien :** I can't believe it

**Gaylien :** I can't fucking believe it

**SpaceDad :** Language. And congrats, Lance

**Acethetics :** Why do you tell your middle name but not Keith's ones ?

**LanceyLance :** He told me he doesn't have any ?

**Acethetics :** >:)

**Gaylien :** Pidge, no.

**Acethetics :** Pidge, yes

**Gaylien :** I swear to mothman Pidge-

**Acethetics :** Ok fine I won't tell him

**LanceyLance :** Tell me

**Acethetics :** ¯\\_( ツ)_/¯

 


	14. Middle name

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A date, cats, theories, and a bakery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith : Knife™, Samurai, SpaceCowboy, MulletNinja, Gaylien  
> Lance : Lanceylance, Sharpshooter, Bi-tter  
> Hunk : Sunshine, TheIncredibleHunk, Pandroid, Mom  
> Pidge : Pidgeon, Gremlin, HackerVoice, Acethetics  
> Shiro : SpaceDad, Child, SwearingDad, Bironic  
> Matt : Doormatt, Mattress, Fabilous  
> Allura : SpaceZelda, Princess, Pantastic  
> Shay : Shaydorable, Panarchy, Shyshay  
> Coran : Corn  
> Romelle : Witch, SpaceArcher, Lesbabe  
> Bandor : Warrior, SpaceExplorer, Gaymer
> 
> Disaster squad : Keith, Lance, Hunk, Pidge, Shiro, Matt, Allura, Shay  
> The adults™ and their irresponsible kids : Keith, Shiro, Pidge, Matt, Allura  
> The adults™ : Shiro, Matt, Allura  
> School memers : Lance, Hunk, Pidge  
> High school hell : Keith, Lance, Hunk, Pidge, Shay  
> Quantum Abyss : Keith, Romelle, Bandor  
> Operation Klance : Hunk, Pidge, Matt, Allura, Shay, Shiro, Romelle, Bandor  
> Team Voltron : Shiro, Keith, Hunk, Lance, Pidge  
> Conspiracy buddies : Pidge, Keith, Romelle

**Acethetics > LanceyLance**

**Acethetics :** If Keith ask, you don't know me

**Acethetics send [1 photo]**

**Acethetics :** Sending a pic of his ID card isn't saying his name right ? ¯\\_( ツ)_/¯

 **LanceyLance :** Oh my GOD

 

**LanceyLance > Gaylien**

**LanceyLance :** KEITH AKIRA YORAK KOGANE

 **LanceyLance :** I'M WHEEZING WHAT KIND OF NAME IS YORAK

 **Gaylien :** Omg I'm going to kill Pidge

 **LanceyLance :** Who's Pidge ? I don't know any Pidge

 **LanceyLance :** I only know my boyfriend Yorak  <3

 **Gaylien :** I can't believe you

 **Gaylien :** … Is that what we are ? Boyfriends ?

 **LanceyLance :** I mean, yeah ? We kinda ended making out in the middle of the laser game so,,,

 **LanceyLance :** Only if you want to tho ?

 **Gaylien :** YES

 **Gaylien :** Yes I want to I just

 **Gaylien :** don't really know how to do this I guess

 **Gaylien :** The “relationship” part

 **Gaylien :** Don't really had a relationship before

 **LanceyLance :** Oh my god was I your first kiss

 **Gaylien :** …

 **LanceyLance :** I totally was oh my god I'm feeling so lucky right now

 **Gaylien :** Yeah yeah whatever can we just not tell the others we're dating for now ?

 **Gaylien :** I don't really feel comfortable enough to tell them

 **Gaylien :** And I'd like to see if this works before

 **Gaylien :** Because it's new for me and I don't want the gc to be awkward if we end up breaking after a week because I fucked up

 **LanceyLance :** Oh yeah actually I didn't want to tell them right now too

 **LanceyLance :** My past relationships didn't really worked out and I don't think I can handle the teasing right now so yeah totally

 **LanceyLance :** I really want it to last and I'm kinda afraid to fuck up too so don't worry about that  <3

 **Gaylien :** Good

 **LanceyLance :** Good

 **LanceyLance :** Want to go on a date with me tomorrow ?

 **Gaylien :** Oh my god I was supposed to ask you out first

 **LanceyLance :** Well I was the one to ask if you wanted to play laser game with me,,,

 **Gaylien :** That didn't count as a date because you didn't tell me it was a date until we kissed anyway

 **Gaylien :** So I'm choosing the date for tomorrow

 **Gaylien :** I won't take no as an answer

 **LanceyLance :** Yes, sir !

 **LanceyLance :** Can I know where we're going ?

 **Gaylien :** You'll see ;)

 **LanceyLance :** ftgyhuippn

 **LanceyLance :** You're making me flustered

 **Gaylien :** Good  <3

 

**Team Voltron**

**Gaylien send [7 photos]**

**Gaylien :** Look at her she's the cutest

 **Acethetics :** Oh yeah speaking of cats

 **Acethetics :** My dear brother volunteered to buy me all I need to make Green's leg so I'm working on it !

 **Gaylien :** Nice

 **Acethetics :** She  & my dog are getting along well too so I'm happy

 **LanceyLance :** What do you mean Red's the cutest Blue's obviously the best

**LanceyLance send [3 photos]**

**LanceyLance :** She always sleep with me !! Cute !!

 **Mom :** Yellow only sleep in cardboard boxes I'm jealous

 **Mom :** He's super cuddly but he's in love with these boxes I swear

 **Mom :** He's too fat to fit in it I don't know how he does it

**Mom send [6 photos]**

**SpaceDad :** If it's any comfort I can see Red always being with Keith but Black only sleep in drawers or the laundry

 **SpaceDad :** I never see him sleep

 **Gaylien :** I do

 **Gaylien :** The other day he was sleeping under the couch

 **SpaceDad :** .. .Why can't he just sleep on the couch like a normal living being

 **Gaylien :** He's a cat, shiro

 **LanceyLance :** Blue already has her spots to sleep so she's easy to find

 **SpaceDad :** Red's easy to find, too. She's always with Keith.

 **SpaceDad :** Black's always in dark places

 **LanceyLance :** So emo

 **Mom :** Shiro, are you … Jealous of Keith  & Red ? :o

 **SpaceDad :** … No.

 **Mom :** Sure

 **Acethetics :** Green's always looking for secrets in the house so she never sleep at the same place

 **Acethetics :** She's always in weird spots like the vent or the kitchen's drawer playing with forks

 **Gaylien :** I like Green

**Acethetics send [2 photos]**

**Acethetics :** A rare photo of Green sleeping with my dog

 **Gaylien :** Cute

**Mom send [1 photo]**

**Mom :** A rare photo of Yellow sleeping with my Moms

 **LanceyLance :** Aww that's so cute

**LanceyLance send [4 photos]**

**LanceyLance :** Blue  & me !!

 

**Quantum Abyss**

**Gaylien :** I'm so fucking gay

 **Lesbabe :** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

**Conspiracy buddies**

**Gaylien :** Do you think cryptids are aliens who landed on earth and decided to stay

 **Lesbabe :** Keith wtf it's 4am I'm trying to sleep

 **Acethetics :** A new theory ? I'm in

 **Gaylien :** I was making bracelets for Lance, Hunk and Shay but now I can't stop thinking about cryptids but I'm scared shiro'll take my laptop if I start reading conspiracy theories at 4 am again

 **Gaylien :** Sad life

 **Acethetics :** What he doesn't know won't hurt him

 **Acethetics :** If he asks what you're doing tell him you're helping me with Green's leg

 **Acethetics :** And if he ask you why you're doing it at 4 am tell him I never sleep

 **Gaylien :** That's why we're friends

 

**Conspiracy buddies**

**Gaylien :** Uuugh I should have slept

 **Gaylien :** I just went to my morning jogging with Shiro and I have work this morning I'm going to die

 **Gaylien :** But Hey I have new theories

**Gaylien send [6 links]**

**Gaylien :** Enjoy

 

**Gaylien > LanceyLance**

**Gaylien :** So I'm working this morning but I finish at noon so we can grab coffee or eat together and then go to the beach ? How does that sound ?

 **LanceyLance :** Romantic as fuck I'm in

 **Gaylien :** Do you want me to come get you at your house ?

 **LanceyLance :** No I'll come directly at the Paladin's so we'll have free coffee and then we can take your bike ?

 **Gaylien :** Sounds perfect

 

**Disaster squad**

**Mom :** Hey guys I have news !!

 **LanceyLance :** Spill

 **Mom :** So you know how my moms wanted to open a bakery right ?

 **Mom :** Well that's happening !

 **Mom :** They still have some things to do but it should open in a few weeks !

 **LanceyLance :** OMG FINALLY !!

 **SpaceDad :** Wow congrats to your moms Hunk !

 **Shyshay :** I'm happy for you Hunk  <3

 **Mom :** <3

 **Princess :** If they want to, they could give us leaflets for our coffee shop if they need some advertisement !

 **Mom :** Thanks Allura ! I'll tell them :)

 **Mom :** And Lance, I know you were looking for a part time job, and I'll be working at the bakery so if you want to work too, my moms will probably be glad ! :)

 **LanceyLance :** Oh my god really ?

 **Mom :** Yeah man

 **LanceyLance :** omg I'm so happy right now

 **LanceyLance :** This is going to be such a good day

 

**Corn > Princess**

**Corn :** Is there something going on between Keith and Lance ?

 **Princess :** Uh kind of, why ?

 **Corn :** Well Lance came in the coffee shop with a guitar case on his back and just started to flirt with Keith

 **Corn :** The boy didn't seem to even understand the flirting but they were two blushing messes

 **Corn :** And Keith gave Lance a free coffee

 **Corn :** And now Keith finished his shift but I'm pretty sure he left with Lance ?

 **Princess :** Oh my god

 **Princess :** That's some good Klance interaction

 

**Operation Klance**

**Princess added Corn to Operation Klance**

**Princess send [1 screenshot]**

**Princess :** Is there something going on with Klance I'm not aware of ?

 **Acethetics :** Oh my god

 **Corn :** You have a group chat just to ship your friends ?

 **Mattress :** Of course

 **Mom :** Nah I don't think it was planned

 **Mom :** I'm Lance's best friend he would have told me if he was going on a date with Keith

 **Mom :** He probably just wanted coffee or something

 **Lesbabe :** And because Keith is a gay disaster he probably asked Lance if he wanted him to take him home or something like that

 **Lesbabe :** We still have our gay agreement Keith would tell us everything

 **Gaymer :** Wait I'm going to ask him

 **Mom :** I'll ask Lance

 

**Quantum Abyss**

**Gaymer :** So Keith, how is it going with Lance ?

 **Gaylien :** It's going … Normal ?

 **Gaylien :** Nothing really happened

 **Lesbabe :** Yet ;-)

 **Gaylien :** Yeah yeah yet whatever

 **Gaylien :** I'm kinda busy right now, I'll text you later ?

 **Gaymer :** What are you doing ?

 **Gaylien :** Looking for things I'll need for our next cryptid hunt with Pidge

 **Gaylien :** I broke my compass

 **Lesbabe :** Have fun !

 

**Mom > LanceyLance**

**Mom :** Hey Lance what are you doing right now ?

 **LanceyLance :** Uh just wandering in town, why ?

 **Mom :** Oh nothing

 **Mom :** I was just wandering if you wanted to come at mine today ? We're making muffins

 **LanceyLance :** I'd love to but I'm pretty busy today

 **LanceyLance :** But next week sure thing buddy

 **Mom :** Does your “busyness” has something to do with Keith ? ;)

 **LanceyLance :** Hunk, you know I'd love to, but no

 **Mom :** You know you can tell me everything right ?

 **LanceyLance :** Of course, you're my best friend, bro

 **Mom :** Ok. Have fun doing whatever you're doing !

 **LanceyLance :** Sure ! Have fun cooking ! :)

 

**Operation Klance**

**Mom send [1 screenshot]**

**Mom :** Nope nothing's happening between them

**Gaymer send [1 screenshot]**

**Gaymer :** Same here

 **Acethetics :** He /did/ broke his compass so I guess he's not lying

 **SpaceDad :** I'll see if he really buy it anyway, I'll tell you

 **Lesbabe :** I'm disappointed but not surprised

 **Mattress :** Same

 

**Gaylien > LanceyLance**

**Gaylien :** I know you're at the bathroom right now but remind me to buy a compass before I come home

 **LanceyLance :** Sure, why ?

 **Gaylien :** Romelle  & Bandor asked me what I was doing today and I panicked & said I was going to buy a compass

 **Gaylien :** But I know for a fact Romelle is talking to Pidge and Pidge will know if I didn't buy it and get suspicious

 **LanceyLance :** Sounds worrying over nothing but sure

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted them to date already-  
> Next chapter, they're back to school u-u


	15. Coffee vs tea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A leg, a discourse, Lance trying to be smooth, Pidge is so done with this shit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith : Knife™, Samurai, SpaceCowboy, MulletNinja, Gaylien  
> Lance : Lanceylance, Sharpshooter, Bi-tter  
> Hunk : Sunshine, TheIncredibleHunk, Pandroid, Mom  
> Pidge : Pidgeon, Gremlin, HackerVoice, Acethetics  
> Shiro : SpaceDad, Child, SwearingDad, Bironic  
> Matt : Doormatt, Mattress, Fabilous  
> Allura : SpaceZelda, Princess, Pantastic, TeaTeam  
> Shay : Shaydorable, Panarchy, Shyshay  
> Coran : Corn  
> Romelle : Witch, SpaceArcher, Lesbabe  
> Bandor : Warrior, SpaceExplorer, Gaymer
> 
>  
> 
> Disaster squad : Keith, Lance, Hunk, Pidge, Shiro, Matt, Allura, Shay  
> The adults™ and their irresponsible kids/Coffee team + Allura : Keith, Shiro, Pidge, Matt, Allura  
> The adults™ : Shiro, Matt, Allura  
> School memers : Lance, Hunk, Pidge  
> High school hell : Keith, Lance, Hunk, Pidge, Shay  
> Quantum Abyss : Keith, Romelle, Bandor  
> Operation Klance : Hunk, Pidge, Matt, Allura, Shay, Shiro, Romelle, Bandor  
> Team Voltron : Shiro, Keith, Hunk, Lance, Pidge  
> Conspiracy buddies : Pidge, Keith, Romelle

**LanceyLance > Gaylien**

**LanceyLance :** Thanks for today Keith, it was great  <3

 **LanceyLance :** And I love the bracelet, I'm going to wear it everyday

 **LanceyLance :** (Don't forget to buy the compass btw)

 **Gaylien :** I'm the one to thank you, I really enjoyed the date

 **Gaylien :** And the bracelet is kinda so that I can recognize you but I'm glad you like it !

 **Gaylien :** I didn't know you could play guitar ?

 **LanceyLance :** There's a lot of things you don't know about me ;)

 **Gaylien :** I'm pretty sure you already said that in the gc and Hunk  & Pidge ended roasting you

 **Gaylien :** But yeah it was great. You're really good at it :)

 **LanceyLance :** Omg Yorak send me a smiling emoji life goal accomplished

 **Gaylien :** I swear to god Lance-

 **LanceyLance :** <3

 **Gaylien :** [sigh]  <3

 

**Team Voltron**

**Acethetics :** Guys, I finished Green's leg but I can't find Green

**Acethetics send [2 photos]**

**Acethetics :** Look at this beauty

 **SpaceDad :** Pidge, it's 3 am. I would appreciate if you sleep, for once.

 **Acethetics :** Why are /you/ awake

 **SpaceDad :** Your texts woke me up

 **SpaceDad :** But I'm going back to sleep, I expect you to do the same

 **Acethetics :** Keith wouldn't treat me like that

 **SpaceDad :** Keith went to sleep directly after coming home, he was too tired.

 **SpaceDad :** That's what he get for sleeping 4 hours each night

 **Acethetics :** Lance wouldn't treat me like that

 **LanceyLance :** Go to sleep Pidgeon

 **LanceyLance :** A sleep deprived Pidge is the worst Pidge

 **Acethetics :** Fuck off

 **SpaceDad :** Language. And go to sleep.

 

**Team Voltron**

**Acethetics send [5 photos]**

**Acethetics send [2 videos]**

**Acethetics :** Green likes her new leg !!!

 **Acethetics :** NOW I can go to sleep

 **Acethetics :** I know it's 4 am so Keith tomorrow I want a free coffee

 **Acethetics :** This morning

 **Acethetics :** Whatever

 **SpaceDad :** Go the fuck to sleep Pidge

 **Acethetics :** Why do you keep your notifications on if they wake you

 **SpaceDad :** In case of emergency. Now go to sleep

 **Acethetics :** 'Kay night loosers

 

**Team Voltron**

**Gaylien :** Omg Green is so cute

 **Gaylien :** And I got you Pidge we're going to the Paladin's before school to have free coffee

 **SpaceDad :** You know Allura will make you pay it right

 **Gaylien :** Not Coran

**Gaylien send [3 photos]**

**Gaylien :** Here Red is cute I love her

 **Gaylien :** Now bye I'm going to drag Pidge out of bed

 

**Disaster squad**

**Acethetics :** I forgot how school was a pain in the ass

 **Acethetics :** I'm just going to sleep in Ryner's class

 **Acethetics :** How can you stay awake all day Keith seriously you never sleep neither

 **Gaylien :** Coffee

 **Gaylien :** My blood is coffee

 **Acethetics :** Valid

 **SpaceDad :** I mean at that point same tbh

 **Mattress :** Yeah I need at least 2 coffees to function in the morning

 **Princess :** Why drink coffee if you can drink tea

 **Acethetics :** Tea vs coffee discourse ?

 **Gaylien :** There is no discourse coffee is life

 **Acethetics :** I aggree

 **SpaceDad :** Same

 **Princess :** How dare you

 **Princess :** Tea is clearly superior

 **LanceyLance :** Excuse me I love coffee but tea's better

 **Princess :** Thank you, Lance

 **Acethetics :** The others ?

 **Mattress :** Coffee

 **Shyshay :** Tea !

 **Hunk :** I prefer tea, too

 **Acethetics :** … So that's a tie

 **Acethetics :** We need to ask more people

 **Gaylien :** Don't ask Romelle I'm pretty sure she's on team “I need coffee to survive but tea has better taste”

 **Gaylien :** And Bandor is definitely on tea team

**Princess changed their name to TeaTeam**

**TeaTeam :** So we won !!

 **TeaTeam :** Coran's probably on tea team too btw

 

**The adults™ and their irresponsible kids**

**Acethetics changed the group chat name to : Coffee team + Allura**

**TeaTeam :** I live with coffee addicts

 **Mattress :** Sad

 **SpaceDad :** But you love us

 **TeaTeam :** Hell yes I do

 

**Disaster squad**

**Gaylien :** Omg

 **Gaylien :** Kolivan (our philosophy teacher) said “knowledge or death” before our exam I'm afraid now

 **Mom :** I swear he did it on purpose to stress us

 **LanceyLance :** And I heard Lotor responding “victory or death” in the back of the classroom

 **LanceyLance :** What the fuck is his problem

 **TeaTeam :** Who, Kolivan or Lotor ?

 **LanceyLance :** Both

 **SpaceDad :** Kolivan always say that that's like a mantra it's weird but you get used to it

 **Mattress :** Who's Lotor ?

 **Gaylien :** I have no fucking idea

 **LanceyLance :** That's principal Zarkon's son

 **LanceyLance :** His mother is Haggar, the nurse who I swear to god she's a witch

 **LanceyLance :** And their son is a bitch I hate him

 **LanceyLance :** He's always with his squad of girls and he pisses me off fidjcpsxjpoq

 **Gaylien :** Oh yeah I remember

 **Gaylien :** Tall, white hair, speak like he's an emperor or something ?

 **LanceyLance :** That's him

 **Gaylien :** Oh yeah he's an ass

 **Gaylien :** He was such an asshole to Romelle when she came out as a trans

 **SpaceDad :** I remember calls from the school because you always fought with him.

 **SpaceDad :** And with James too.

 **Gaylien :** Let's not talk about this bully alright

 **Acethetics :** How come you didn't remembered him if you fought him more than once ?

 **Gaylien :** I never paid attention to his name I just knew he never got detention because of his father when I was always grounded

 **LanceyLance :** Wow he's worse than I thought

 **Mom :** Isn't he the one who canceled GSA last year ?

 **Gaylien :** Oh yeah he did that too

 **LanceyLance :** He also canceled the tournaments of our swim club because he wanted the money for his own club or whatever

 **Gaylien :** That asshole

 **SpaceDad :** Didn't you just said you were doing a exam right now ?

 **Mom :** No that was last hour we're eating now

 **SpaceDad :** Okay. I just hope you're not texting in class.

 **Gaylien :** [nervous laughter]

 **Acethetics :** [nervous sweating] Of course not

 **SpaceDad :** [sigh]

 

**Operation Klance**

**Acethetics :** THEY'RE MAKING ME SO FRUSTRATED

 **Acethetics :** HOW CAN THEY BE SO OBLIVIOUS SERIOUSLY

 **Lesbabe :** Wow Pidge calm down

 **Gaymer :** What happened ?

 **Mattress :** Spill the tea

 **TeaTeam :** Matt, darling, you should be working, like Shiro

 **Mattress :** So should you

 **TeaTeam :** I own this place, I do what I want

 **Acethetics :** GUYS

 **Acethetics :** KLANCE

 **Acethetics :** TYUGYHIUJOIDZKAPOQSW

 **Mom :** Translation : Lance is flirting in spanish, Keith doesn't understand, and Pidge can't bear the sexual tension

 **Mom :** Like I don't know if he's flirting or not but the tone in his voice says so

 **Lesbabe :** Omg

 **Lesbabe :** Guys

 **Lesbabe :** Do you not know Keith is texan ?

 **Shyshay :** I think he said so once, why ?

 **Lesbabe :** People in texas speak spanish, you know

 **Gaymer :** And Keith is fluent in english AND spanish

 **Shyshay :** omg

 **Acethetics :** THEN WHY IS HE ACTING LIKE HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND

 **Acethetics :** JUST KISS ALREADY

 **Acethetics :** I'm going to lock them in a closet

 **SpaceDad :** Pidge, no

 **Acethetics :** YOU'RE NOT THE ONE WHO HAVE TO WATCH THEM BEING OBLIVIOUS

 **SpaceDad :** And you're not the one who has to deal with a lovey-dovey Keith at home.

 **Acethetics :** I mean,,, yeah

 **Acethetics :** I just really want them to be happy together

 **Acethetics :** I may say romance is disgusting but it's really not and I just want them to date already it's so frustrating

 **Mattress :** Omg a soft Pidge

 **Acethetics :** I'm going to stab you

 **Mattress :** Aaaand they're gone

 

**High school hell**

**Gaylien :** Ok so when Lance isn't here

 **Gaylien :** Can somebody tell me why he was reciting the entire bee movie script in spanish in a sexy voice ??

 **Acethetics :** …

 **Acethetics :** What the fuck

 **Shyshay :** He was what

 **Mom :** Oh my god seriously

 **Gaylien :** I mean yeah ?? I don't understand ??

 **Gaylien :** Did I miss a clue or something ?

 **LanceyLance :** HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT I WAS SAYING

 **Gaylien :** I'm texan ?

 **Gaylien :** Texan people speak spanish ?

 **LanceyLance :** .

 **Shyshay :** I think you broke him

 **Mom :** Aaaw, Lance was trying to be smooth

 **Acethetics :** I can't believe you two.

 

**Operation klance**

**Acethetics send [1 screenshot]**

**Acethetics :** I can't fucking believe

 **SpaceDad :** Language.

 

**Gaylien > LanceyLance**

**Gaylien :** No seriously why did you stopped flirting to recite the bee movie script-

 **LanceyLance :** I DIDN'T THOUGH YOU UNDERSTOOD ANYWAY

 **Gaylien :** Well I do

 **LanceyLance :** I panicked ok ? Shay Hunk and Pidge were watching us and then texting and I'm pretty sure they were texting each other about us

 **LanceyLance :** So I panicked

 **Gaylien :** Actually I was asking why do you know the bee movie script by heart but you're valid

 **Gaylien :** Do you want me to tell them they where stressing you out ?

 **LanceyLance :** No it's ok I'm fine now

 **LanceyLance :** And don't made fun of me I'm a meme lord of course I know the bee movie script by heart

 **Gaylien :** I can't believe you're my boyfriend

 **LanceyLance :** Yeah but you liiike meeee ~

 **Gaylien :** [sigh] Yes I do

 

 


	16. Milkshake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Milkshake, teasing and a disaster family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith : Knife™, Samurai, SpaceCowboy, MulletNinja, Gaylien  
> Lance : Lanceylance, Sharpshooter, Bi-tter  
> Hunk : Sunshine, TheIncredibleHunk, Pandroid, Mom  
> Pidge : Pidgeon, Gremlin, HackerVoice, Acethetics  
> Shiro : SpaceDad, Child, SwearingDad, Bironic  
> Matt : Doormatt, Mattress, Fabilous  
> Allura : SpaceZelda, Princess, Pantastic, TeaTeam  
> Shay : Shaydorable, Panarchy, Shyshay  
> Coran : Corn  
> Romelle : Witch, SpaceArcher, Lesbabe  
> Bandor : Warrior, SpaceExplorer, Gaymer  
> Te-Osh : Tea-Osh  
> Olia : Oliander  
> Rolo : Rololympic
> 
> Disaster squad : Keith, Lance, Hunk, Pidge, Shiro, Matt, Allura, Shay  
> Coffee team + Allura : Keith, Shiro, Pidge, Matt, Allura  
> The adults™ : Shiro, Matt, Allura  
> School memers : Lance, Hunk, Pidge  
> High school hell : Keith, Lance, Hunk, Pidge, Shay  
> Quantum Abyss : Keith, Romelle, Bandor  
> Operation Klance : Hunk, Pidge, Matt, Allura, Shay, Shiro, Romelle, Bandor  
> Team Voltron : Shiro, Keith, Hunk, Lance, Pidge  
> Conspiracy buddies : Pidge, Keith, Romelle  
> Paladin's mess : Allura, Coran, Matt, Shiro, Keith, Pidge, Olia, Te-Osh, Rolo

**Gaylien > SpaceDad**

**Gaylien :** Shiro

 **Gaylien :** Shiro I think I'm dying

 **SpaceDad :** What's wrong

 **SpaceDad :** Do you need to go home ?

 **Gaylien :** I think there was milk in the milkshake Lance bought me

 **SpaceDad :** I can't tell if your serious or if you're messing with me

 **SpaceDad :** I WAS WORRIED SOMETHING SERIOUS HAPPENED

 **Gaylien :** I forgot my tablets

 **Gaylien :** I feel like there's a war in my stomach

 **Gaylien :** I'm going to puke

 **SpaceDad :** Why are you telling me that

 **Gaylien :** I'm suffering

 **Gaylien :** Suffer with me

 **SpaceDad :** No

 **SpaceDad :** Why did you drank it if you knew you'll vomit later

 **Gaylien :** Because Lance gave it to me and I couldn't say no to him

 **SpaceDad :** I can't believe

 **Gaylien :** I COULDN'T SAY NO SHIRO

 **SpaceDad :** You're so dramatic.

 

**Disaster squad**

**SpaceDad :** Is Keith still alive ?

 **Acethetics :** He's still in the bathroom so I don't know

 **Acethetics :** Maybe dairy products finally killed him

 **Mom :** Uh ?

 **Shyshay :** What are you talking about ?

 **LanceyLance :** Ok Pidge you're scaring me I'm going to check on him

 **Gaylien :** I'm aliVE

 **Gaylien :** I want to die looking for mothman, I won't let these bitches kill me

 **Acethetics :** If you say so

 **Mom :** Are you like

 **Mom :** Alright ?

 **SpaceDad :** Yes he is

 **SpaceDad :** He's just lactose intolerant and always forget his tablets

 **SpaceDad :** He's so dramatic sometimes

 **Mom :** What

 **Mom :** KEITH I HAVE BEEN GIVING YOU PASTRIES AND CAKES WITH MILK IN IT WHY DIDN'T YOU SAID ANYTHING

 **Gaylien :** You didn't askedokpopplmk

 **LanceyLance :** I got his phone

 **LanceyLance :** I'll stay with him until he's feeling better

 **LanceyLance :** See you later ?

 **Shyshay :** Wow that was gay

 **Acethetics :** Thank you, that's what I'm always saying

 

**SpaceDad > Gaylien**

**SpaceDad :** So

 **SpaceDad :** Are you feeling better ?

 **Gaylien :** Hey it's Lance I still have his phone

 **Gaylien :** He's fine he's just complaining about how his body, and I quote, “won't let me appreciate good things in life”

 **SpaceDad :** Yeah he seems fine

 **SpaceDad :** Thanks for taking care of him, Lance

 **Gaylien :** My pleasure !!

 

**School memers**

**Acethetics :** So, Lance

 **Acethetics :** How was watching your crush vomit ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **LanceyLance :** So romantic

 **LanceyLance :** I promised him I'll make him a lactose-free milkshake next time and he seems happy so that's a win

 **Mom :** You seem satisfied

 **Mom :** I can't believe you're satisfied to see Keith sick

 **Mom :** Where are you now I have to yell at Keith for poisoning himself without telling us

 **LanceyLance :** He's drinking water right now, we'll be back in a bit

 

**Operation Klance**

**Acethetics send [3 screenshots]**

**Acethetics :** So that happened

 **Gaymer :** I remember when he would drink milk and wish it would kill him because he couldn't handle emotions

 **SpaceDad :** He what

 **Lesbabe :** “It's easier to live with lactose intolerance when you don't give a fuck”

 **SpaceDad :** I don't even know why I'm surprised

 **Mattress :** I'm really not tbh

 **Mattress :** This boy can't take care of himself

 **SpaceDad :** I'M AWARE

 

**Acethetics > Gaylien**

**Acethetics :** Dude where are you

 **Acethetics :** I want to go home but you're my ride

 **Acethetics :** KEITH

 **Gaylien :** Chill I was with Lance I'm coming

 **Acethetics :** Oh

 **Acethetics :** OH ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **Acethetics :** And what were you doing with him ? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **Gaylien :** Why are you using this emoji as if we were doing something nasty

 **Gaylien :** We were doing homework

 **Gaylien :** I finished class one hour before you and I waited for you instead of leaving you with no ride like Matt did once

 **Acethetics :** Such a gentleman

 **Acethetics :** Now get your ass here before I come get you

 **Gaylien :** Yes ma'am

 

**Paladin's mess**

**SpaceDad :** Keith and I discussed and we came to the conclusion he would need someone to take his shifts next weekend

 **Gaylien :** And friday too

 **Tea-Osh :** I can take friday since you covered my shift once

 **Oliander :** I have too much work between my shifts and my other job sorry :(

 **Gaylien :** dw Olia and thanks Te

 **Acethetics :** What would you give me if I take your saturday shift

 **Gaylien :** I gave you a cat and an opportunity to make a robot leg what more do you want

 **Acethetics :** Peanut butter cookies

 **Gaylien :** Sure I can do that

 **TeaTeam :** Oh, so you convinced Shiro to let you see your friends ?

 **Gaylien :** Well I already bought the tickets to he didn't really had a choice

 **Mattress :** You smart little gremlin

 **Mattress :** You spend too much time with my sister

 **Gaylien :** Well you're the one who wanted your little sister to be best friend with your boyfriend's little brother

 **Mattress :** And I don't regret it

 **Mattress :** I got you covered sunday if you want

 **Gaylien :** Thanks Matt

 **Gaylien :** I'll give you peanut butter cookies too

 **Rololympic :** What's the deal with the holts and peanut butter cookies

 **Acethetics :** The deal ?

 **Acethetics :** It's a religion

 **TeaTeam :** Please not the peanut tirade again

 **Corn :** What's the peanut tirade ?

 **TeaTeam :** Well when I wanted to know Pidge better she started talking about peanut I was confused

 **Acethetics :** I like peanut butter, and I like peanut butter cookies, but I hate peanuts. They're so dry.

 **TeaTeam :** Also you sweat a lot, unrelated to peanuts, I know.

 **Rololympic :** … Ok, I guess ?

 **Oliander :** I learned not to question them.

 **SpaceDad :** You learned well.

 **Mattress :** Don't mess with the cryptkids they're weird

 **Oliander :** I learned not to question you either

 **Mattress :** I'M HURT

 **Acethetics :** Olia I admire you

 

**LanceyLance > Gaylien**

**LanceyLance :** Hey hot stuff ;)

 **LanceyLance :** You know what's on menu ? ME-N-U

 **Gaylien :** … Lance ?

 **LanceyLance :** Are you sure you're not an alien ? 'Cause you abducted my heart !

 **Gaylien :** I thought we already established I'm probably half-alien

 **LanceyLance :** Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven ?

 **Gaylien :** … Are you drunk

 **LanceyLance :** Are you an electrician ? 'Cause you light up my day ;)

 **Gaylien :** Oh my god where are you I'm going to pick you up and take you home what the fuck Lance

 **LanceyLance :** Are youbtrzdmslcx

 **LanceyLance :** hiojpok

 **Gaylien :** Lance ???

 **LanceyLance :** I'M SORRY

 **LanceyLance :** MY SISTER VERONICA TOOK MY PHONE AND READ OUR MESSAGES

 **Gaylien :** What the fuck

 **LanceyLance :** I swear I'm not drunk

 **LanceyLance :** Look I'm perfectly fine in my room

**LanceyLance send [1 photo]**

**Gaylien :** Ok but why does your sister know your password

 **LanceyLance :** I DON'T KNOW

 **LanceyLance :** She's going to tease me until I'm DEAD

 **Gaylien :** Are you alright ?

 **LanceyLance :** I don't know

 **LanceyLance :** I'm panicking

 **Gaylien :** Ok, take some deep breaths

 **Gaylien :** Do you want me to call ? Or to come over ?

 **LanceyLance :** … Call

 **Gaylien :** K

**Call started at 23:04**

**Call ended at 23:31**

**LanceyLance :** Thank you  <3

 **LanceyLance :** I'm sorry I had to hang up my mom's calling for me

 **Gaylien :** Alright, ttyl ?

 **LanceyLance :** Ttyl  <3

 **Gaylien :** <3

 

**LanceyLance > Gaylien**

**LanceyLance :** So now my family wants to meet you

 **Gaylien :** They what

 **LanceyLance :** Ronnie told mom and dad about us and mom told my other sister Rachel and my brother Marco who called my other brother Luis and Luis told his wife Lisa and Lisa told her kids Nadia and Sylvio

 **LanceyLance :** And now they want to meet you

 **Gaylien :** Are you panicking

 **LanceyLance :** Yes

 **Gaylien :** Deep breaths, ok ?

 **Gaylien :** I don't mind meeting them

 **Gaylien :** I'm not going to be there this weekend because I'll see Romelle and Bandor and they live hella far away

 **Gaylien :** So I'll have to finish my essay before leaving

 **Gaylien :** We could go studying at your home or something like that, so they meet me, we do our homework in your room, and then I leave with a minimum or human interaction and everybody is happy

 **LanceyLance :** HOW COME YOU DIDN'T TELL ME YOU WEREN'T HERE THIS WEEKEND

 **Gaylien :** I uh

 **Gaylien :** May have forgotten ?

 **LanceyLance :** I WANTED TO PLAY DND WITH EVERYONE

 **Gaylien :** You can still play without me, we'll play together next time

 **Gaylien :** But for the homework thing ? Yes or no ?

 **LanceyLance :** Yes but you're not gonna escape human interaction

 **Gaylien :** Damn

 **LanceyLance :** My mom is gonna ask you to stay for dinner and then forever

 **LanceyLance :** All my siblings are gonna ask questions

 **LanceyLance :** God that'll be a mess

 **Gaylien :** … I guess I can stand socializing if it's for you

 **LanceyLance :** That's the nicest thing you ever said to me

 **LanceyLance :** You can come Thursday if you want ? I don't know if you'll have time on friday with all the packing and stuff

 **Gaylien :** That's a date then

 

**Quantum Abyss**

**Gaylien :** Oh my god I'm going to meet Lance's family

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so first of all : I'm not home for more or less a week, I'm at the beach with my family. So I'll write less, and then I'll have to go back to school, so you'll have less updates, sorry !  
> Then, I just want to thank you all for the support, the kudos and more importantly the comments. I read every single one of them even if I don't respond because I'm really awkward and I don't know how to talk to people most of the time but I'm so happy each time I read one of your comments. So thank you ! <3  
> Paladin's mess is a group chat for the people who work at the Paladin's cafe  
> Next update you'll see the Macclain family ! (I never know if there is one or two C in this name) (I have to find usernames for everyone too-)


	17. McClain family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Family, dreams, and Shiro's so done with this shit (part 39301)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith : Knife™, Samurai, SpaceCowboy, MulletNinja, Gaylien  
> Lance : Lanceylance, Sharpshooter, Bi-tter  
> Hunk : Sunshine, TheIncredibleHunk, Pandroid, Mom  
> Pidge : Pidgeon, Gremlin, HackerVoice, Acethetics  
> Shiro : SpaceDad, Child, SwearingDad, Bironic  
> Matt : Doormatt, Mattress, Fabilous  
> Allura : SpaceZelda, Princess, Pantastic, TeaTeam  
> Shay : Shaydorable, Panarchy, Shyshay  
> Coran : Corn  
> Romelle : Witch, SpaceArcher, Lesbabe  
> Bandor : Warrior, SpaceExplorer, Gaymer  
> Te-Osh : Tea-Osh  
> Olia : Oliander  
> Rolo : Rololympic  
> Rosa (MamaMcClain) : Mamcclain  
> Basilio (PapaMcClain) : Papclain  
> Veronica : EvilV  
> Rachel : IDK man if you have any idea for her username feel free to tell me :')  
> Luis : MeanL  
> Marco : Carko  
> Lisa : Same as Rachel
> 
>  
> 
> Disaster squad : Keith, Lance, Hunk, Pidge, Shiro, Matt, Allura, Shay, Coran  
> Coffee team + Allura : Keith, Shiro, Pidge, Matt, Allura  
> The adults™ : Shiro, Matt, Allura  
> School memers : Lance, Hunk, Pidge  
> High school hell : Keith, Lance, Hunk, Pidge, Shay  
> Quantum Abyss : Keith, Romelle, Bandor  
> Operation Klance : Hunk, Pidge, Matt, Allura, Shay, Shiro, Romelle, Bandor  
> Team Voltron : Shiro, Keith, Hunk, Lance, Pidge  
> Conspiracy buddies : Pidge, Keith, Romelle  
> Paladin's mess : Allura, Coran, Matt, Shiro, Keith, Pidge, Olia, Te-Osh, Rolo  
> McClain McClan : Lance, Veronica, Rachel, Luis, Marco, Lisa, Rosa, Basilio
> 
> That's a lot of characters. A lot of gcs too.

**Quantum Abyss**

**Gaylien :** Oh my god I'm going to meet Lance's family

**Lesbabe :** YOU WHAT

**Lesbabe :** THAT'S AMAZING

**Lesbabe :** TRY TO MAKE A GOOD IMPRESSION TO YOUR FUTURE FAMILY

**Gaymer :** How

**Gaylien :** So apparently

**Gaylien :** We're going to go do our homework together before I leave and we're going to his house because his parents and siblings want to meet me

**Lesbabe :** They want to meet you you say

**Gaymer :** Interesting

**Gaylien :** Yeah

**Gaylien :** Lance's sister stole his phone and now I'm supposed to meet them tomorrow and I'm not ready ???

**Gaylien :** What if I mess everything up ???

**Gaymer :** Dude, calm down

**Gaymer :** You're not gonna mess up

**Gaymer :** You're nice and polite and you gave them a lovely cat I'm sure they'll love you

**Lesbabe :** Yeah and if they end up hating you you can elope with Lance

**Gaylien :** Thanks Bandor Romelle you're not helping

**Lesbabe :** ;)

 

**Lesbabe > Gaymer**

**Lesbabe :** He didn't denied considering the idea of eloping with him

**Gaymer :** Oh my god

**Gaymer :** Give the guy a break he's got anxiety

**Lesbabe :** Yeah I know

**Lesbabe :** Tbh I'm surprised he accepted to go

**Lesbabe :** He could have just go in his flat with Shiro ?

**Gaymer :** Yes but he gay

**Lesbabe :** Valid

 

**School memers**

**LanceyLance :** KEITH IS GOING TO MEET MY FAMILY

**Acethetics :** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Acethetics :** Don't worry I'm sure Rosa will approve him

**LanceyLance :** I hate how you always seem to know everything

**Acethetics :** I know I know dw

**Mom :** Aren't you curious as to why Keith will meet Lance's family ?

**Mom :** I mean Pidge and I know them because we always went to your house but Keith ?

**LanceyLance :** Yeah we're doing homework nothing fancy

**Acethetics :** Well Keith will do his homework while you'll be staring at him

**LanceyLance :** What

**Acethetics :** Am I wrong ?

**LanceyLance :** …

**Acethetics :** That's what I thought

 

**LanceyLance added Rosa, Basilio, Veronica, Rachel, Marco, Luis and Lisa to McClain McClan**

**Lanceylance changed Rosa's name to Mamcclain**

**Lanceylance changed Basilio's name to Papclain**

**Lanceylance changed Veronica's name to EvilV**

**Lanceylance changed Marco's name to Carko**

**LanceyLance :** We REALLY needed a family group chat so here it is

**Mamcclain :** That's a excellent idea Lancito !

**Papclain :** Why is your brother's name Carko ?

**Carko :** Lance no

**LanceyLance :** That's because of that once time Marco told the starbuck guy his name was “marco with a C” and the barista wrote “Carko”

**Carko :** I though we agreed not to talk about that anymore

**LanceyLance :** I'm honored you trusted me enough to believe that

**Carko :** I should have know

**Rachel :** Lance !! Congrats for your boyfriend !!!

**LanceyLance :** Thanks but I'm still mad at Ronnie for telling everyone

**EvilV :** Oh, come on. When did somebody actually succeed to hide a relationship from the family ?

**Luis :** Lisa and I were together for like a month before you guys knew

**Luis :** You're just not as discreet as you think you are

**LanceyLance changed Luis's name to MeanL**

**Mamcclain :** Don't be mean to each others, children

**LanceyLance :** He's the mean one !

**Lisa :** I'm actually honored to be in this group chat. Thanks

**Mamcclain :** Lisa ! You know you are and always will be family !

**Mamcclain :** You can add your kids when they'll have a phone, in you wish to. They're family too.

**Lisa :** Thank you Rosa !

**EvilV :** Ok yeah before Mama and Lisa go in a fight to know if Lisa will call her mama or Rosa can we focus on LaNCE'S BOYFRIEND

**EvilV :** When can we see him

**EvilV :** How did you two met

**EvilV :** Is he cute ?

**EvilV :** Is he smart ? Badass ? I know you like bad boys with a gold heart

**LanceyLance :** This is all your fault

**LanceyLance :** But yeah he's coming tomorrow we're going to STUDY and please give him space I know he has social anxiety and I don't want him to feel overwhelmed because we're a big family and he only has a brother so yeah don't corner him in the bathroom to question him like you did with Lisa

**Lisa :** I actually still have nightmares of that day

**LanceyLance :** See ? Don't scare my bf away I like him and if he sounds rude it's because he's scared or panicking because /people/

**LanceyLance :** If it's too much for him I'll take him outside so if we disappear don't panic or whatever

**EvilV :** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**LanceyLance :** No

**LanceyLance :** You're worse than Pidge

**MeanL :** I'm actually disappointed I'm not going to meet him. Lisa and I could have gone home this weekend with the kids, but tomorrow I don't think it'll be possible

**LanceyLance :** He's going to be out of town this weekend

**LanceyLance :** But you'll probably see him another time. I don't want to break up with him and he's the one who gave me Blue and he LOVES her so he's definitely going to come again only to see her

**LanceyLance :** And I'll come to his flat to see Red because she hates me

**Rachel :** You want to see the cat because she hates you ?

**LanceyLance :** Listen I hated Keith at first and now we're dating

**LanceyLance :** I'm sure Red will learn to looove me ~

**Mamcclain :** Alright.

**Mamcclain :** We're going to make Keith feel welcomed, give him space and no questioning

**Papclain :** Save the questioning for next time

**LanceyLance :** PAP

**Mamcclain :** Is he staying for dinner ?

**LanceyLance :** Yes. He and his brother never cook he needs real meal for once

**LanceyLance :** I'm sure if the Holt never gave them food they'll only eat pizza

**Mamcclain :** Oh, god

**Mamcclain :** I'm making him food to take home for his brother too

**LanceyLance :** Thanks Mama

**LanceyLance :** By the way do we have lactose free milk ? He's lactose intolerant and I promised I'll make him a milkshake

**Mamcclain :** We don't, but I can go buy some.

**LanceyLance :** Best mama in the universe  <3

 

**Disaster squad**

**LanceyLance :** GUYS

**LanceyLance :** DND SUNDAY WITH ALL THE SQUAD

**LanceyLance :** Expect Keith who decided to leave us

**LanceyLance :** WITHOUT TELLING US

**Gaylien :** I'm pretty sure I told like half the gc already

**Gaylien :** But whatever

**TeaTeam :** Oh ! I should add Coran here, he's the game master after all !

**TeaTeam :** Is that ok with everyone ?

**Gaylien :** Sure

**Acethetics :** Yeah !

**LanceyLance :** Of course !

**SpaceDad :** Can someone EXPLAIN me WHY 90% of the time someone talk in this group chat is either 1) when they're bored in class/work, 2) when they're supposed to SLEEP

**SpaceDad :** Seriously, I'd love to add Coran but it's midnight he's probably asleep.

**TeaTeam added Corn to Disaster squad**

**LanceyLance :** Coran Coran the gorgeous man

**Corn :** Lance, my boy ! Hello !

**SpaceDad :** Why do I try anyway

**Gaylien :** ¯\\_( ツ)_/¯

**LanceyLance :** SO DND SUNDAY I WON'T TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER

**Gaylien :** No

**LanceyLance :** Do you want to fucking fight

**Gaylien :** You think you can take me ?

**Gaylien :** Lance you're delirious go to sleep

**LanceyLance :** :o

**LanceyLance :** I'm hurt

**Mattress :** Hey hurt,

**Acethetics :** No

**Mattress :** I'm dad ( ｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

**Acethetics :** You're not. Shiro is.

**Mattress :** :'(

**SpaceDad :** If I'm dad then listen to me and GO TO SLEEP

**Gaylien :** But we're rebellious teens who won't listen to their dad

**SpaceDad :** [sigh] Do what you want. But when you'll be too tired to go to class tomorrow I'll be there to say I TOLD YOU SO

 

**Disaster squad**

**Acethetics :** Raise and shine children

**Acethetics :** I had a dream

**Gaylien :** What type of dream

**Acethetics :** Weird dream

**Acethetics :** I was stuck in a space garbage dumb thing and there was these cute little creatures

**Acethetics :** They were good friends

**Acethetics :** They helped me find you guys

**Gaylien :** Oh

**Gaylien :** Once I dreamt I was stuck on a desert planet with an injured Shiro who apparently loved sarcasm

**LanceyLance :** Ooooh we're sharing dreams ??

**Mom :** I never remember my dreams … But I think once I dreamt I was looking for crystals in the stomach of a space giant worm ???

**LanceyLance :** I have a dream dairy so I can tell you a lot !!!

**LanceyLance :** Like the time I saved a mermaid tribe or when we shrank and were chased my a weird mad animal

**Shyshay :** I often dream of my family, but they're rock people and I'm a rock people and we're saved by giant cats. Yeah.

**TeaTeam :** I always have dreams of me being a princess, and at this point I'm sure I was an alien princess in another life because there is no other explication.

**Corn :** I have quite a few peculiar dreams too !

**Mattress :** I have a wild one

**Acethetics :** No

**Mattress :** It's about space !!!

**Acethetics :** We don't want to know your wet dreams in space, Matt

**Mattress :** It wasN'T A WET DREAM

**Mattress :** But a have a few of these ones I can share if you want ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Acethetics :** gross

**Mattress :** Anyway it was cool !! I was abducted by aliens and then I lived in space as a rebel against a evil space emperor and then I thought it would be cool to have a grave at my name so I had a grave in a space graveyard and months later Pidge went to the grave cause they were looking for me and IDK how but they found me and BAM sibling reunion guys

**Acethetics :** What the actual fuck

**Gaylien :** Why so many of our dreams are about space

**LanceyLance :** I have a lot of space dreams too !!

**LanceyLance :** For example, I remember going to save a talking centipede in a space prison ship but instead of saving it I kidnapped a space dog-thing ? It's name was Laika tho

**SpaceDad :** I dreamt I was abducted by aliens once or twice too.

**Gaylien :** Lucky

**Gaylien :** I dreamt I was a desert cryptid

**Gaylien :** I was purple with yellow eyes and I was married to mothman

**LanceyLance :** … Who is this mothman dude

**Gaylien :** …

**Acethetics :** …

**Gaylien :** He doesn't know who is mothman.

**Acethetics :** We HAVE to educate his poor uncultivated soul.

**Gaylien :** Lance at lunch we're going to the library there is a better internet connection I'm going to show you CRYPTIDS

**LanceyLance :** … Something tell me I shouldn't have asked.

**Mattress :** Eh. Kick.

**Gaylien :** Do you want to fucking fight holt

**Mattress :** Shouldn't you be driving to school right now

**Gaylien :** … Fuck

**SpaceDad :** Language, Keith. And yes, you're late.

**SpaceDad :** Maybe if you didn't go to sleep at mad hours you would actually wake up in time.

**Gaylien :** Sleep is for the weak

**Acethetics :** Sleep is for the weak

**LanceyLance :** Sleep is for the weak

**Mattress :** Sleep deprivation is for high school students

**SpaceDad :** Why is nobody never listening to me

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uuuugh I'm so sorry it took so long to write I just had a lot of work with school beginning and all that stuff and I can't seem to write what I have in my head so it's really really frustrating. I still hope you like this chapter ! :)


	18. Pajamas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mothman, murder plan, food, Blue, and pajamas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith : Knife™, Samurai, SpaceCowboy, MulletNinja, Gaylien  
> Lance : Lanceylance, Sharpshooter, Bi-tter  
> Hunk : Sunshine, TheIncredibleHunk, Pandroid, Mom  
> Pidge : Pidgeon, Gremlin, HackerVoice, Acethetics  
> Shiro : SpaceDad, Child, SwearingDad, Bironic  
> Matt : Doormatt, Mattress, Fabilous  
> Allura : SpaceZelda, Princess, Pantastic, TeaTeam  
> Shay : Shaydorable, Panarchy, Shyshay  
> Coran : Corn  
> Romelle : Witch, SpaceArcher, Lesbabe  
> Bandor : Warrior, SpaceExplorer, Gaymer  
> Te-Osh : Tea-Osh  
> Olia : Oliander  
> Rolo : Rololympic  
> Rosa (MamaMcClain) : Mamcclain  
> Basilio (PapaMcClain) : Papclain  
> Veronica : EvilV  
> Rachel :  
> Luis : MeanL  
> Marco : Carko  
> Lisa : 
> 
>  
> 
> Disaster squad : Keith, Lance, Hunk, Pidge, Shiro, Matt, Allura, Shay, Coran  
> Coffee team + Allura : Keith, Shiro, Pidge, Matt, Allura  
> The adults™ : Shiro, Matt, Allura  
> School memers : Lance, Hunk, Pidge  
> High school hell : Keith, Lance, Hunk, Pidge, Shay  
> Quantum Abyss : Keith, Romelle, Bandor  
> Operation Klance : Hunk, Pidge, Matt, Allura, Shay, Shiro, Romelle, Bandor  
> Team Voltron : Shiro, Keith, Hunk, Lance, Pidge  
> Conspiracy buddies : Pidge, Keith, Romelle  
> Paladin's mess : Allura, Coran, Matt, Shiro, Keith, Pidge, Olia, Te-Osh, Rolo  
> McClain McClan : Lance, Veronica, Rachel, Luis, Marco, Lisa, Rosa, Basilio

**Operation Klance**

**Acethetics send [2 photos]**

**Acethetics :** So Keith is educating Lance

 **Lesbabe :** What are they doing

 **Acethetics :** He's showing him mothman

 **Gaymer :** Wow … How romantic …

 **Lesbabe :** Don't tell me this idiot is pining over a non-believer

 **Acethetics :** Not for long

 **Mom :** What's the deal with mothman

 **Gaymer :** Oh no

**Lesbabe send [3 links]**

**Acethetics :** Actually mothman isn't my fav cryptid. But it's Keith's fav so Lance can't just date him without knowing who he is

 **Lesbabe :** please tell me at least everyone here believe in aliens

 **Acethetics :** Of course !

 **Mattress :** Who do you take us for ?

 **Mom :** hm … No ?

 **Shyshay :** I think there is extraterrestrial life, but I don't believe we'll be able to reach aliens anytime soon.

 **SpaceDad :** I didn't believe in aliens but Keith showed me so many theories I'm beginning to doubt it …

 **TeaTeam :** I'm sure Coran and I have some sort of royalty alien blood

 **Acethetics :** Keith too.

 **Lesbabe :** Keith definitely is an alien.

 **Mom :** Why are you all persuaded aliens exist

 **Mom :** Aliens are scary I don't want to meet aliens

 **Acethetics :** Hunk, you poor innocent soul, you have so much to learn

 

**Disaster squad**

**Acethetics :** I plan to murder somebody who's with me

 **Gaylien :** I'm in

 **LanceyLance :** Who do you want to murder

 **Mom :** Why do you want to kill someone

 **SpaceDad :** Don't kill anyone.

 **Acethetics :** Sendick's son or nephew I don't know

 **Acethetics :** Haxus this asshole

 **Mattress :** What did he do

 **Acethetics :** He brOKE ROVER

 **Acethetics :** I WAS WORKING ON HIM FOR MONTHS AND HE CAME, TOOK HIM AND CRASHED HIM ON THE FLOOR

 **Acethetics :** I'm so fucking mad

 **Mattress :** Don't you have a copy of his program ?

 **Mattress :** I can help you fix him you know.

 **Mom :** Yeah me too. Have you told a teacher or someone in the administration ?

 **Acethetics :** Yeah they said robots are not allowed in the campus so they can't do anything about it

**Gaylien send [1 photo]**

**Gaylien :** Here. I punched him and yelled at him.

 **Acethetics :** Thanks

 **LanceyLance :** This asshole deserved it

 **SpaceDad :** … Is he unconscious

 **Gaylien :** No he just had his eyes closed he's fine

 **Gaylien :** Or he'll be fine I don't know I don't care

 **Gaylien :** Oh look Zarkon's here gotta go bye

 **SpaceDad :** Do I have to expect a call from the school

 **Mattress :** Probably

 

**Disaster squad**

**Gaylien :** So I run away before Zarkon could actually see me and there was no witnesses so when Zarkon went to get me I was at the library with Lance and he told them I was with him all the time so they couldn't give me detention ¯\\_( ツ)_/¯

 **Gaylien :** Sendak looked like he was going to murder me

 **LanceyLance :** Yeah they were creepy

 **Gaylien :** (btw thanks Lance you're the best)

 **LanceyLance :** (Yeah yeah I know  <3)

 **Gaylien :** ( <3)

 **Acethetics :** KICK

 **Gaylien :** Do you want to fucking fight

 **SpaceDad :** NO MORE FIGHTS KEITH

 **SpaceDad :** What am I going to do with you

 **Gaylien :** Buy me chocolate

 **SpaceDad :** Why the fuck

 **Gaylien :** We're out of chocolate

 **SpaceDad :** Ok go BACK TO CLASS I'll buy chocolate later

 **Gaylien :** Thanks Shiro you're the best

 **LanceyLance :** I though I was the best

 **Gaylien :** Thanks Shiro you're the second best

 **LanceyLance :** :D

 **Acethetics :** Kifck

 

**High school hell**

**Gaylien :** He actually agreed to buy me chocolate

 **Gaylien :** Do you think I'll get more chocolate if I get into more fights

 **Acethetics :** Worth a shot

 **Mom :** No

 **Shyshay :** Definitely not

 **LanceyLance :** Please don't get into more fights we don't want you to get hurt

 **Gaylien :** buodqisjm

 **Gaylien :** Fine

 

**Gaylien > SpaceDad**

**Gaylien :** Hello Hi I'm at Lance's I've been here for 10 minutes and everybody already hugged me

 **SpaceDad :** Are you alright ?

 **Gaylien :** Oh yeah Lance actually told them not to touch me too much so that's ok

 **Gaylien :** They're nice people

 **SpaceDad :** Good. Call me if you need anything, alright ?

 **Gaylien :** Yeah, thanks Shiro

 **Gaylien :** I really meant it when I said you're the best

 **Gaylien :** You're the best brother I could have asked for

 **SpaceDad :** What's with the feelings Kogane you're going to make me cry

 **Gaylien :** :)

 **SpaceDad :** binoipoklkds

 

**EvilV > Gaylien**

**EvilV :** Hey hi hello it's Veronica

 **EvilV :** I love your username

 **Gaylien :** How did you get my number

 **EvilV :** I maaay have taken it when I stole Lance's phone the other day

 **EvilV :** But ANYNWAY

 **EvilV :** We have a lot to talk about :)

 **Gaylien :** Oh my god

 **EvilV :** I propose you a deal

 **Gaylien :** Shoot

 **EvilV :** You give me blackmail and I give you embarrassing stories of my brother

 **Gaylien :** I'm very tempted considering that Lance talks to MY brother everyday and I know for a fact they have the same deal

 **EvilV :** I take that for a yes

 

**Quantum abyss**

**Lesbabe :** So we heard you're going to your crush's house today

 **Gaylien :** Yeah I told you yesterday ?

 **Gaymer :** How's it going ?

 **Gaylien :** Well normal ? Lance's family is really sweet and now we're doing homework in his room

 **Gaylien :** His sisters tried to corner me to question me but Lance was here so they didn't do anything ¯\\_( ツ)_/¯

 **Gaylien :** I can smell Rosa's cooking it smells sooo good I can't believe that Lance eat that everyday he's so lucky

 **Gaylien :** I'm never eating Shiro's cooking again

 **Gaymer :** You already said that when he tried to make pasta and accidentally burnt water

 **Lesbabe :** I mean you're worse than him at cooking

 **Gaylien :** Yeah but when I cook I don't force my little brother to eat this shit

 **Gaylien :** Anyway

 **Gaylien :** The McClain family is great

 **Gaylien :** Rosa remind me of Shiro's mother

 **Gaylien :** She accepted me right away without caring about me being rude or anything and god I'm crying I'm so happy they're so sweet

 **Lesbabe :** Go get that boy and one day she'll be your mom too

 **Gaymer :** Omg we're all so emotional these days

 **Gaylien :** I still can't believe I'm going to see you two in like 2 days it's been so long

 **Lesbabe :** I have so many places I want to go see with you !!

 **Gaymer :** Yeah we already have a schedule for the week end

 **Gaylien :** Anyway I still have homework to do right now but I'll text you later !

 **Gaymer :** Have fun !

 **Lesbabe :** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

**Team Voltron**

**Gaylien send [6 photos]**

**Gaylien :** Look at her she's so cute

 **Gaylien :** She remembered me

 **LanceyLance :** I swear he loves my cat more that us

 **Gaylien :** I still think Red's the best

 **LanceyLance :** Say that again when you're not cuddling with Blue

 **Acethetics :** We're having some good klance content right now

 **Gaylien :** Some good what ?

 **LanceyLance :** Omg PIDGE

 **Gaylien :** What's a klance ?

 **Gaylien :** Did you meant lance ?

 **LanceyLance :** I can't believe we have a ship name

 **Gaylien :** ???

 **LanceyLance :** I'll tell you later dw

 **Gaylien :** Alright ?

**Gaylien send [2 photos]**

**Gaylien :** Blue's pics for the soul

 

**McClain McClan**

**Mamcclain :** Where are the boys ?

 **Mamcclain :** I haven't see them since they went to Lance's room

 **EvilV :** They're probably eating faces while telling us they're working

**LanceyLance send [1 photo]**

**LanceyLance :** The only thing we're eating is math. I hate math.

 **LanceyLance :** Btw can someone take Blue away she's distracting us

 **EvilV :** You're the one who wanted to have blue when Keith is here

 **Rachel :** I'm going to get her !!

 **Rachel :** She's always with you it's not fair

 **Rachel :** We love her too

 

**Team Voltron**

**LanceyLance :** Rachel took Blue

 **Gaylien :** Blue loves food better than us

 **Acethetics :** Green too

 **Mom :** Same with Yellow.

 **SpaceDad :** All cats are like that.

 **Gaylien :** … I guess it's true

 **Gaylien :** I don't care I love them anyway

 **Acethetics :** Wow Keith showing affection

 **Acethetics :** I swear he loves his cats more than us

 **Gaylien :** ¯\\_( ツ)_/¯

 

**Gaylien > SpaceDad**

**Gaylien send [2 photos]**

**Gaylien :** Rosa's cooking is so fucking good

 **Gaylien :** She said I could take some home for you too

 **SpaceDad :** Tell her I love her.

 **Gaylien :** She said she wasn't happy with the way you only feed me with pizza

 **SpaceDad :** Half the time you're the one who asks for pizza

 **Gaylien :** She doesn't need to know that

 

**LanceyLance > SpaceDad**

**LanceyLance :** Hey can Keith sleep at mine tonight ?

 **LanceyLance :** He kinda passed out on my couch

 **SpaceDad :** Sure. Just don't let him sleep on the couch, get him on a bed or something

 **LanceyLance :** I'll have to wake him up to put some pajamas anyway

 **LanceyLance :** He's NOT going to sleep with his clothes on

 **LanceyLance :** Seriously who sleep with socks ?

 **SpaceDad :** Believe me I tried but this kid is too stubborn

 **SpaceDad :** You won't be able to get him to sleep in pajamas like us normal people

 **LanceyLance :** Wanna bet

 

**LanceyLance > SpaceDad**

**LanceyLance send [1 photo]**

**LanceyLance :** Grumpy Keith in pajamas

 **SpaceDad :** … How

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so so so sorry, I know I'm never updating but I'm never at home with my school schedule I legit start at 8 am and end at 6 pm everyday so I don't have time to write with all the homework and stuff,,,  
> But I didn't gave up this fic, don't worry !  
> Also I didn't have the time to re-read the chapter so there probably are a lot of typo sorry if you find one feel free to tell me !


	19. Blood sword

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pajamas (part2), curly haired Lance, clone, video games, swords, and a train

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith : Knife™, Samurai, SpaceCowboy, MulletNinja, Gaylien  
> Lance : Lanceylance, Sharpshooter, Bi-tter  
> Hunk : Sunshine, TheIncredibleHunk, Pandroid, Mom  
> Pidge : Pidgeon, Gremlin, HackerVoice, Acethetics  
> Shiro : SpaceDad, Child, SwearingDad, Bironic  
> Matt : Doormatt, Mattress, Fabilous, Mattematics  
> Allura : SpaceZelda, Princess, Pantastic, TeaTeam  
> Shay : Shaydorable, Panarchy, Shyshay  
> Coran : Corn  
> Romelle : Witch, SpaceArcher, Lesbabe  
> Bandor : Warrior, SpaceExplorer, Gaymer  
> Te-Osh : Tea-Osh  
> Olia : Oliander  
> Rolo : Rololympic  
> Rosa (MamaMcClain) : Mamcclain  
> Basilio (PapaMcClain) : Papclain  
> Veronica : EvilV  
> Rachel :  
> Luis : MeanL  
> Marco : Carko  
> Lisa : 
> 
> Disaster squad : Keith, Lance, Hunk, Pidge, Shiro, Matt, Allura, Shay, Coran  
> Coffee team + Allura : Keith, Shiro, Pidge, Matt, Allura  
> The adults™ : Shiro, Matt, Allura  
> School memers : Lance, Hunk, Pidge  
> High school hell : Keith, Lance, Hunk, Pidge, Shay  
> Quantum Abyss : Keith, Romelle, Bandor  
> Operation Klance : Hunk, Pidge, Matt, Allura, Shay, Shiro, Romelle, Bandor  
> Team Voltron : Shiro, Keith, Hunk, Lance, Pidge  
> Conspiracy buddies : Pidge, Keith, Romelle  
> Paladin's mess : Allura, Coran, Matt, Shiro, Keith, Pidge, Olia, Te-Osh, Rolo  
> McClain McClan : Lance, Veronica, Rachel, Luis, Marco, Lisa, Rosa, Basilio

**LanceyLance > Gaylien**

**LanceyLance :** Hey babe where are you ?

 **LanceyLance :** Keith ?

 **LanceyLance :** Buddy ?

 **LanceyLance :** Ok I'm panicking why did you disappeared in the middle of the night

 **Gaylien :** Sorry sorry I'm here I'm fine dw

 **Gaylien :** And it's not the middle of the night it's 6.30 am

 **LanceyLance :** MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT

 **LanceyLance :** What were you doing outside when warm blankets are waiting for you inside

 **Gaylien :** Well I went to sleep pretty early so I woke up early and went for a run

 **Gaylien :** You know, like I do every morning

 **Gaylien :** I told Veronica when I left. She was awake

 **LanceyLance :** Well she's asleep now

 **Gaylien :** I'm fine, sorry for not telling you, I should have texted you

 **LanceyLance :** Nah I'm just panicking for nothing, you did nothing wrong

 **Gaylien :** Well obviously if you panicked there WAS something, even if you find it stupid

 **Gaylien :** I would look for you too if you just disappeared when I'm sleeping

 **Gaylien :** I'm sorry I stressed you

 **LanceyLance :** Nah don't apologize it's fine

 **LanceyLance :** When do you come back ?

 **LanceyLance :** You're coming back, right ?

 **Gaylien :** I mean I took your jacket so yeah I'm coming back to give it to you

 **Gaylien :** AND you kinda have my bag and all my school stuff

 **Gaylien :** And my bike is in your garden

 **Gaylien :** So yeah, I'm coming

 **LanceyLance :** 'Kay kay

 **LanceyLance :** See you later  <3

 **Gaylien :** <3

 

**SpaceDad > Gaylien**

**SpaceDad :** Did you slept without Marmora

 **Gaylien :** … Maybe

 **Gaylien :** I'm a grown up man I can sleep without my plush

 **SpaceDad :** Yeah I reaaally believe you

 **Gaylien :** Shush

 **Gaylien :** I may or may not have used Lance as a living pillow

 **Gaylien :** Somehow it's better than a plush

 **SpaceDad :** Oh my GOD

 **SpaceDad :** MY BABY BROTHER IS GROWING UP

 **SpaceDad :** … Wait

 **SpaceDad :** You slept in the same bed as Lance

 **Gaylien :** Oh look at the time I need to go home bye

 **SpaceDad :** You totally did

 

**Operation Klance**

**SpaceDad send [1 screenshot]**

**SpaceDad :** You're welcome

 **Acethetics :** We missed so much klance when they were together

 

**Disaster squad**

**LanceyLance send [1 photo]**

**LanceyLance :** What kind of dork go for a run in PAJAMAS

 **Acethetics :** Keith ? In pajamas ? What did you do to him

 **SpaceDad :** Who is he and what did you do to my brother

 **Mattress :** Memeing Shiro is the best Shiro  <3

 **TeaTeam :** Every Shiro is the best Shiro  <3

 **SpaceDad :** I love you  <3

 **Gaylien :** I forgot I wasn't already dressed ok it was unsettling

 **Gaylien :** And now I'm watching Lance doing his face torture

 **LanceyLance :** It's beauty routine !!

 **LanceyLance :** It's the reason I have such a perfect face

 **LanceyLance :** You should try it sometime

 **Gaylien :** Maybe when we're not LATE FOR SCHOOL

 **LanceyLance :** Pffft we're not late

 **Acethetics :** You kinda are

 **Mom :** Shay and I are already at school

 **LanceLance :** Yeah but I live at like 5min from school

 **Gaylien :** I can get there in 2 min with my bike but I swear if you don't speed up I'm leaving without you

 **LanceyLance :** You wouldn't dare !

 **Gaylien :** Try me

 **LanceyLance :** …

 **LanceyLance :** Ok I'm ready but if I look like a mess it's your fault

 **Gaylien :** Yeah yeah whatever

 **Acethetics :** Apart from the gays

 **Acethetics :** I'm working on rover 2.0

 **Mattress :** And I'm helping

 **Acethetics :** So Hunk if you have time can you have a look ? I'm not sure of a few things and help is always welcome

 **Mom :** Of course !

 **LanceyLance :** GUYS THIS IS HILARIOUS

 **LanceyLance :** HE DIDN'T RECOGNIZED ME

 **Gaylien :** WHY IS YOUR HAIR CURLY ??

 **Gaylien :** I THOUGHT YOU WERE ANOTHER OF YOUR BROTHERS YOU HAVE SO MANY SIBLINGS

 **LanceyLance :** I ONLY HAVE 2 BROTHERS

 **Gaylien :** YEAH BUT I ONLY MET ONE

 **SpaceDad :** STOP YELLING

 **Gaylien :** Sorry dad

 **LanceyLance :** Sorry Dad

 **SpaceDad :** Lance, face blindness, remember ?

 **LanceyLance :** Oh yeah I know but he kinda just looked at me for like 5 minutes before saying “who the fuck are you and where did Lance went” and it was hilarious

 **Gaylien :** Yeah yeah just get on the bike you curly headed Lance clone

 **Acethetics :** Conspiracy theory : Is curly Lance a clone of Lance or is Lance a clone of curly Lance ?

 **Acethetics :** We'll get to the bottom of this case

 **Gaylien :** Uuuuugh don't make me think before school starts please

 

**LanceyLance > Acethetics**

**LanceyLance :** Hey Pidge are you here

 **Acethetics :** 'sup

 **LanceyLance :** I'm bored

 **LanceyLance :** So I'm playing on my phone

 **LanceyLance :** The Voltron new game

 **LanceyLance :** I'm stuck on level 4 and Hunk and Keith are listening to the teacher so they won't help meee

 **Acethetics :** Wait a sec I'm connecting to the game

 **LanceyLance :** Thanks Pidgeon you're a gem !!

 

**Disaster squad**

**LanceyLance :** I FINISHED LEVEL 7 OF THE VOLTRON GAME

 **Shyshay :** Wow, good job Lance !

 **Acethetics :** With my help of course.

 **Mattress :** Of course you'll help Lance but not your poor brother still stuck on level 5

 **SpaceDad :** Please tell me you're not playing in class

 **Mom :** They are. I saw Lance getting all excited when he leveled up

 **SpaceDad :** I hope you heard me sigh.

 **LanceyLance :** smh I could

 

**Disaster squad**

**Acethetics :** Keith

 **Acethetics :** I have the answer to your question

 **Acethetics :** 400

 **Gaylien :** That's pretty neat

 **Acethetics :** I know right

 **LanceyLance :** 400 what

 **Mom :** Do we want to know

 **Acethetics :** 400 people

 **Shyshay :** We really don't want to know

 **TeaTeam :** I really want to know

 **Mattress :** I'm scared but I'm curious too

 **SpaceDad :** 400 people doing what ?

 **Gaylien :** Dying

 **Acethetics :** We were talking about swords forged in the blood of enemies in fantasy books or movies

 **Acethetics :** Well I did the math and you would need to drain more or less 400 adult men of their blood and extract the iron of it and you'll have your sword

 **Gaylien :** Forged in the blood of your enemies

 **SpaceDad :** Wha

 **SpaceDad :** Why were you asking her that

 **Gaylien** **:** ¯\\_( ツ)_/¯

**Mattress changed their name to Mattematics**

**Mattematics :** There's about 3-4 grams of iron in a person's blood so yeah it works

 **Mattematics :** Actually it would give you a 1.2 or 1.6 kg sword which is more than enough

 **Mattematics :** An average sword is about 1.1kg

 **Mattematics :** But how would you extract the iron tho

 **Mattematics :** And what would you do of your 400 corpses

 **Acethetics :** Cremate them and use the carbon from these bodies to strengthen your sword

 **Acethetics :** A carbon steel sword

 **Gaylien :** So you have a sword forged in the blood of your enemies AND strengthened with their bones

 **Gaylien :** I like it

 **LanceyLance :** Sometimes I don't get them

 **TeaTeam** : Sometimes nobody does

 **SpaceDad :** I really don't want to get them tbh.

 

**Gaylien > SpaceDad**

**Gaylien :** You have to swear on your honor you'll take care of the cats or I'll stab you

 **Gaylien :** With my blood sword Pidge and I will make

 **SpaceDad :** Your cats are perfectly capable of stabbing me if I don't treat then fine.

 **Gaylien :** Good :)

 

**Quantum abyss**

**Gaylien :** Guess who's on the train

 **Gaymer :** Red

 **Lesbabe :** Shiro ?

 **Gaymer :** No it's probably Pidge

 **Lesbabe :** Maybe Lance

 **Gaymer :** I don't know Ro, I think that Allura girl said she was going to see us ?

 **Gaylien :** I hate yall

 **Lesbabe :** Texas Keith strikes again

 **Gaylien :** Beware I'll have a blood sword soon

 **Gaylien :** When I'll have 400 enemies to kill

 **Gaymer :** You'll probably have no problem finding enemies but actually killing them ?

 **Gaymer :** You're too soft to actually kill anybody

 **Lesbabe :** Called out

 **Gaylier :** This is homophobia

 **Lesbabe :** Sure

 **Gaymer :** Read the username

 **Gaylien :** :(

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to add Kosmo so much but I'm too tired to actually write anything now with homework and stuff  
> Also I like klance. Did you know ? I'm not sure if I say it enough


	20. Cacti

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cacti, handcuffs (2), and pink milk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith : Gaylien  
> Lance : Lanceylance  
> Hunk : Mom  
> Pidge : Acethetics  
> Shiro : SpaceDad  
> Matt : Mattematics  
> Allura : TeaTeam  
> Shay : Shyshay  
> Coran : Corn  
> Romelle : Lesbabe  
> Bandor : Gaymer  
> Te-Osh : Tea-Osh  
> Olia : Oliander  
> Rolo : Rololympic  
> Rosa (MamaMcClain) : Mamcclain  
> Basilio (PapaMcClain) : Papclain  
> Veronica : EvilV  
> Rachel :  
> Luis : MeanL  
> Marco : Carko  
> Lisa : 
> 
> Disaster squad : Keith, Lance, Hunk, Pidge, Shiro, Matt, Allura, Shay, Coran  
> Coffee team + Allura : Keith, Shiro, Pidge, Matt, Allura  
> The adults™ : Shiro, Matt, Allura  
> School memers : Lance, Hunk, Pidge  
> High school hell : Keith, Lance, Hunk, Pidge, Shay  
> Quantum Abyss : Keith, Romelle, Bandor  
> Operation Klance : Hunk, Pidge, Matt, Allura, Shay, Shiro, Romelle, Bandor  
> Team Voltron : Shiro, Keith, Hunk, Lance, Pidge  
> Conspiracy buddies : Pidge, Keith, Romelle  
> Paladin's mess : Allura, Coran, Matt, Shiro, Keith, Pidge, Olia, Te-Osh, Rolo  
> McClain McClan : Lance, Veronica, Rachel, Luis, Marco, Lisa, Rosa, Basilio

**Gaylien > SpaceDad**

**Gaylien :** Shiro I forgot something

 **SpaceDad :** Well it's too late now

 **SpaceDad :** What did you forgot

 **Gaylien :** I forgot to water the cacti

 **SpaceDad :** I know what you're going to ask and the answer is no.

 **Gaylien :** Please ?

 **SpaceDad :** No.

 **Gaylien :** :(

 

**Gaylien > Acethetics**

**Gaylien :** Can you water my cacti today please I forgot to do it yesterday

 **Gaylien :** Piiidge ?

 **Gaylien :** Please ?

 **Gaylien :** PIDGE

 **Gaylien :** CACTI

 **Acethetics :** Let me sleeeeep

 **Gaylien :** My cactiii

 **Acethetics :** No let me sleep

 **Gaylien :** :(

 

**Gaylien > LanceyLance**

**Gaylien :** Pidge and Shiro are mean

 **LanceyLance :** Well hello to you too

 **LanceyLance :** Why are you up so early

 **LanceyLance :** Are you still in the train ?

 **Gaylien :** Yeah

 **Gaylien :** Sleeping in the train is SO uncomfy

 **Gaylien :** Can you do me a favor ?

 **LanceyLance :** Sure thing babe

 **Gaylien :** So I have cacti and perennial plants right

 **LanceyLance :** You do ?

 **Gaylien :** Yeah and I have a schedule to water my cacti and I forgot but I have a reminder on my phone and I have to water them today

 **Gaylien :** Pidge is a gremlin and Shiro refuse to approach them since one felt on his foot

 **LanceyLance :** Sure I'll do it

 **Gaylien :** I love you so much

 **Gaylien :** You're my only ally in this cold and cruel world

 **LanceyLance :** Aw  <3

 **Gaylien :** So you water the ones with the blue and green labels

 **Gaylien :** Blue are for “water every week” and green “2 times per week”

 **Gaylien :** The yellow ones are for every months and the red one never- But I only have 1 red because she's sick so we can't water her :(

 **Gaylien :** Anyway spare's key under the doormat

 **LanceyLance :** This is the less original hiding place for a key

 **Gaylien :** We know but if we forget where the key is the mat would be the first thing we'll check

 **Gaylien :** And the cats would protect the house from the bad guys

 **Gaylien :** Because Red's the best

 **LanceyLance :** How dare you  >:o

 **LanceyLance :** Blue is so much cuter

 **Gaylien :** Not true

 **LanceyLance :** You know what ? We're not having this discourse so early in the morning

 **LanceyLance :** I'm going to water your plants then I'll go see Coran to prepare everything for the MnM game tomorrow

 **Gaylien :** Ask him to put me as a NPC

 **LanceyLance :** Yeah I already have an idea of what you'll be ;)

 **Gaylien :** This wink is scaring me

 **LanceyLance :** ;)

 **Gaylien :** 'Kay the train's here I'm leaving BYE

 

**Quantum Abyss**

**Gaylien :** WHERE ARE YOU

 **Gaylien :** BECAUSE I'M HERE

 **Gaymer :** Already ? Romelle's still sleeping

 **Gaymer :** I swear when she's like that nothing can wake her

 **Gaylien :** Omg

 **Gaylien :** Give me your address I'm coming over

 **Gaylien :** Don't wake her up I'll do it

 **Gaylien :** We'll see if nothing can wake her up

 **Gaymer :** This is slightly terrifying but door's open for you man

**Gaymer send [1 location]**

**Gaylien :** Nice

 

**Quantum Abyss**

**Gaymer :** Why did I just heard my sister yell

 **Gaylien :** She's awake :)

 **Gaymer :** Scary

 

**Disaster squad**

**Gaylien send [2 photos]**

**Gaylien :** I survived the train

 **SpaceDad :** Good to hear. Say hi to Romelle and Bandor for me

 **Acethetics :** And here he is, having fun while we're WORKING

 **LanceyLance :** I don't work

 **Mom :** Me neither

 **Gaylien :** Sorry Pidge this is what you get for not watering my plants

 **Gaylien :** I'll send a loooot of photos :)

 **Acethetics :** Demon

 **Acethetics :** After all this I'm still the gremlin ?

 **Mattematics :** Yeah

 **Acethetics :** Shush Holt

 **Mattematics :** You're a Holt too

 **Acethetics :** Not anymore

 **Acethetics :** I'm Pidge Gunderson now

 **Mattematics :** :o My little sibling disappeared

 **Mattematics :** What will I do

 **Acethetics :** Perish

 **Mattematics :** How cold

 

**Disaster squad**

**LanceyLance :** How many fucking cacti does he has

 **LanceyLance :** They're EVERYWHERE

 **Acethetics :** Now you know why I don't water them

 **Gaylien :** I have a lot but they're small so I can have plenty

 **Gaylien :** And that way Shiro doesn't know when I buy new ones

 **SpaceDad :** I'm going to ignore that statement

 **LanceyLance :** Is that names on the labels ?

 **LanceyLance :** Keith, you names your cactuses ?

 **Gaylien :** … No

**LanceyLance send [2 photos]**

**Gaylien :** Ok maybe I did name them

 **LanceyLance :** Adorable

 **TeaTeam :** Am I the only one wondering why is Lance of all people watering Keith's cacti

 **SpaceDad :** I'm glad he did it because I'm not approaching these things

 **Gaylien :** You're so mean with them

 **LanceyLance :** Yeah it's not surprising they attack your feet man

 **SpaceDad :** I shouldn't have let you in

 **LanceyLance :** You hurt my feelings Shiro

 **Gaylien :** Yeah he's mean like that

 **Acethetics :** Shiro don't be a bully

 **Mattematics :** Yeah Shiro, not cool

 **Corn :** Is Lance calling Keith adorable a normal thing now ?

 **Acethetics :** You'll get used to it.

 

**Operation Klance**

**Corn :** I don't get it, are they dating or not ?

 **Mom :** No, it's probably just Lance's “I'll compliment the hell out of him” flirting phase

 **Acethetics :** Really, you'll get used to it

 **Mattematics :** Btw we should do something about them, shouldn't we ?

 **Acethetics :** We could just lock them in a closet until they admit their love

 **Shyshay :** … Or we could not

 **Acethetics :** Do you have any idea ?

 **Shyshay :** Actually, yes

 **Shyshay :** We could all go on the mall and then lose them, so they have to spend the day together !

 **Mattematics :** They may not stay together

 **TeaTeam :** I think we have handcuffs

 **TeaTeam :** If you know what I mean

 **SpaceDad :** Allura, no

 **SpaceDad :** Not you too

 **TeaTeam :** I'm sorry Shiro I just want the desperate pinning to end

 **Acethetics :** Let's do that when Keith come back

 **Mattematics :** Finally

 **Corn :** That's actually a great idea !

 **Mom :** Are you sure about the handcuffs ?

 **Shyshay :** That wasn't what I was thinking about, but sure, why not

 **SpaceDad :** This is a bad idea

 **Mattematics :** Hey, I think it's great !

 **SpaceDad :** Of course you would

 **Mom :** Why would Allura even have handcuffs

 **Corn :** Oh, back in the time we handcuffed her father with his friends because they couldn't get along and they had a paper to do together !

 **Corn :** That was pretty funny.

 **TeaTeam :** In the end they didn't even do it so they had detention

 **Acethetics :** When you said “his friends” are you talking about our cat's vet and provisor Zarkon ?

 **Corn :** Yes ! There were Trigel and Gyrdan too, but Trigel unlocked her handcuffs and left the house so …

 **TeaTeam :** She's an icon.

 

**Disaster squad**

**Gaylien :** Guys

 **Gaylien :** I just learnt something and I don't know how I lived without this information

 **LanceyLance :** A new cryptid ?

**Gaylien send [1 photo]**

**Gaylien :** HIPPO MILK IN PINK

 **Gaylien :** FUCKING PINK

 **Gaylien :** HOW DID I NOT KNOW THAT

 **Gaylien :** My live now have sense

 **Gaylien :** I can't believe I didn't knew that omg

 **LanceyLance :** Ok now Keith is having an existential crisis everything's alright

 **Gaylien :** Romelle and Bandor just told me. I can't believe it.

 **SpaceDad :** Even I knew that

 **Gaylien :** AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME

 **Gaylien :** I never felt more betrayed

 **SpaceDad :** Keith you're literally an orphan

 **Gaylien :** still

 **Gaylien :** Romelle and Bandor are my only friends here.

 **Acethetics :** They're not even on this gc

**Gaylien added Lesbabe to Disaster squad**

**Gaylien added Gaymer to Disaster squad**

**Gaylien :** Now they are

 **Lesbabe :** Damn I have blackmail on Keith I though I'll have to use it to be in this gc

 **Lesbabe :** Disappointed but not surprised

 **Gaylien :** Excuse me you what

 **Gaymer :** Don't ask. I don't want to know.

 **Acethetics :** I want to know. What's the blackmail

 **Lesbabe :** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The cacti thing is literally my sister when she moved but let her cacti at home. Nobody wanted to water them so I did it :')  
> ALSO !! Romelle and Bandor in the group chat !! Finally !  
> Next time : Kosmo. That's all I'll tell :)


	21. Kosmo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kosmo, kosmo, kosmo, kosmo, kosmo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith : Gaylien  
> Lance : Lanceylance  
> Hunk : Mom  
> Pidge : Acethetics  
> Shiro : SpaceDad  
> Matt : Mattematics  
> Allura : TeaTeam  
> Shay : Shyshay  
> Coran : Corn  
> Romelle : Lesbabe  
> Bandor : Gaymer  
> Te-Osh : Tea-Osh  
> Olia : Oliander  
> Rolo : Rololympic  
> Rosa (MamaMcClain) : Mamcclain  
> Basilio (PapaMcClain) : Papclain  
> Veronica : EvilV  
> Rachel :  
> Luis : MeanL  
> Marco : Carko  
> Lisa : 
> 
> Disaster squad : Keith, Lance, Hunk, Pidge, Shiro, Matt, Allura, Shay, Coran, Romelle, Bandor  
> Coffee team + Allura : Keith, Shiro, Pidge, Matt, Allura  
> The adults™ : Shiro, Matt, Allura  
> School memers : Lance, Hunk, Pidge  
> High school hell : Keith, Lance, Hunk, Pidge, Shay  
> Quantum Abyss : Keith, Romelle, Bandor  
> Protect Kosmo 2k18 : Keith, Lance, Hunk, Pidge, Matt, Allura, Shay, Coran, Romelle, Bandor  
> Operation Klance : Hunk, Pidge, Matt, Allura, Shay, Shiro, Romelle, Bandor  
> Team Voltron : Shiro, Keith, Hunk, Lance, Pidge  
> Conspiracy buddies : Pidge, Keith, Romelle  
> Paladin's mess : Allura, Coran, Matt, Shiro, Keith, Pidge, Olia, Te-Osh, Rolo  
> McClain McClan : Lance, Veronica, Rachel, Luis, Marco, Lisa, Rosa, Basilio

**LanceyLance > Gaylien**

**LanceyLance :** I miss you

 **Gaylien :** Lancey I miss you too but it's midnight we're trying to sleep

 **Gaylien :** We scared Bandor with horror stories now he doesn't want us to talk anymore

 **LanceyLance :** So if they're sleeping but not you

 **LanceyLance :** You can go outside and facetime with me ;)

 **Gaylien :** Give me a sec

**Call started at 00:12**

**Call ended at 03:43**

**LanceyLance :** Good night samurai  <3

 **Gaylien :** Night Sharpshooter <3

 

**Disaster squad**

**LanceyLance :** ALRIGHT EVERYONE IT'S THE DAY

 **LanceyLance :** EVERYBODY AT CORAN AND ALLURA'S WE'RE PLAYING MnM !!

 **Mattematics :** BUT I HAVE WORK TODAY

 **Mattematics :** BECAUSE I TOOK KEITH'S SHIFT

 **Shyshay :** And I'm working too, so that'll be without me today :(

 **LanceyLance :** Damn

 **LanceyLance :** Well next time you'll be here

 **LanceyLance :** And Keith too

 **LanceyLance :** Where is he by the way

 **Lesbabe :** Keith was on his phone until like 4 in the morning he's still sleeping

 **Gaymer :** Yeah I wonder with who …

 **Lesbabe :** I wonder indeed ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **Acethetics :** It was Lance wasn't it

 **LanceyLance :** H-how do you even know

 **Acethetics :** I guessed ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **Lesbabe :** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **Mattematics :** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **SpaceDad :** I sure hope he'll do his morning jogging. Exercise is important for health.

 **Gaymer :** He said “f*ck off shiro sleep if for the weak and I'm weak today”

 **Lesbabe :** Did you just censured fuck off

 **Acethetics :** I will not accept this language in this group chat Bandor

 **Acethetics :** Here we swear and we do NOT censure

 **Mattematics :** Only Shiro censure because he's old

 **SpaceDad :** I'm not old !

 **LanceyLance :** Dude you literally have white hair

 **Mom :** Sorry Shiro you're not old we're just all young

 **TeaTeam :** Don't worry Shiro we still love you even if you're old

 **Gaylien :** Technically he's only six

 **Acethetics :** Oooh yeah I forgot

 **Acethetics :** Leap year baby

 **LanceyLance :** Keith ! Good morning !

 **Gaylien :** Morning Lancey

 **Gaylien :** *Lance

 **Gaylien :** No comment I'm tired.

 **Acethetics :** That was gay

 **Corn :** Gay indeed

 **TeaTeam :** Keith your gay is showing

 **Lesbabe :** Waking him up and almost getting stabbed was so worth it

 **Gaylien :** I SAID NO COMMENT

 **Gaymer :** He's so red

 **Gaylien :** 'am not

**Gaymer send [1 photo]**

**Gaylien :** I'M GOING TO RUN BYE

 **Lesbabe :** Go buy coffee while you're out please

 **Gaylien :** See ? I'm getting bullied

 **SpaceDad :** If we're talking bullying

 **SpaceDad :** Red -the little kitten she is- destroyed the neighbor's cat and stole his food

 **SpaceDad :** The very adult and big neighbor's cat

 **SpaceDad :** Mr. Xi really wasn't happy

 **Gaylien :** That's my girl

 **Acethetics :** Red the troublemaker

 **LanceyLance :** Like father, like cat

 **Gaylien :** Yes I'm Red's dad

 **Gaylien :** And I'm proud of her

 **Gaylien :** Shiro tell her I'm proud of her

 **SpaceDad :** Just run.

 

**Gaylien added Lesbabe, Gaymer, LanceyLance, Acethetics, Mattematics, TeaTeam, Mom, Shyshay and Corn to Protect the doggo 2k18**

**Gaylien :** So

 **Lesbabe :** We may have a problem

 **Gaymer :** It's Keith's fault, really

 **TeaTeam :** Why make a group chat with everybody if we already have Disaster squad

 **Corn :** Shiro's not here ?

 **Gaylien :** He's not here because he's part of the problem

 **Shyshay :** Wouldn't it be more effective if he was here to talk about the problem ?

 **Mom :** Wait what's the problem

 **Gaylien :** Thank you Hunk

 **Gaylien :** So I found a dog

 **Acethetics :** Let me guess

 **Acethetics :** You want to adopt him but you don't know if Shiro will approve

 **Lesbabe :** Our aunt is allergic to dogs so we can't keep him, but he's really really cute and weak and we can't just abandon him

 **Gaymer :** And he's following Keith everywhere

 **Gaylien :** He was attacked by other dogs !! I wasn't going to let him get hurt :(

 **LanceyLance :** I WANT A PIC

 **LanceyLance :** What's his name ??

 **Gaylien :** We didn't named him. If we name him I won't be able to give him to somebody else if Shiro doesn't want him

 **Gaylien :** And I believe he'll tell us when he'll be ready.

 **LanceyLance :** Seriously

 **Gaylien :** Yes

 **Shyshay :** We still want pictures

**Gaylien send [5 photos]**

**Gaymer send [3 photos]**

**Lesbabe send [1 photo]**

**Lesbabe :** Fuck mine is out of focus

 **LanceyLance :** … Is that a wolf ?

 **Shyshay :** He's adorable !

 **Acethetics :** He's so tiny what the fuck that's so cute

 **Mom :** I'm not sure you can take a wolf home, Keith

 **Gaylien :** It's a dog !!

 **Corn :** He really look like a wolf, but I believe it's a dog

 **Corn :** I had a canadian eskimo dog when I was younger ! Those really look like wolves too.

 **Gaylien :** See ? It's a dog. So I can keep him.

 **LanceyLance :** You can't keep him without giving him a name.

 **LanceyLance :** And if you're not keeping him I'll keep him because he's ADORABLE

 **LanceyLance :** Let's name him Kosmo

 **Mom :** Yeah Kosmo is nice

 **Acethetics :** That's a great name

 **TeaTeam :** It suits him !

 **Shyshay :** Kosmo it is !

**Mattematics changed the group chat name to Protect Kosmo 2k18**

**Gaylien :** … Fine. Kosmo

 **Lesbabe :** Aw he likes his name !

 **Lesbabe :** Look

**Lesbabe send [1 video]**

**Lesbabe :** Shit out of focus

**Gaymer send [1 video]**

**LanceLance :** Blessed

 **Gaylien :** ANYWAY

 **Gaylien :** SHIRO

 **Shyshay :** Can't you just like, just tell him you want to take a dog home ?

 **Gaylien :** Yeah, like “Hello Shiro I know you're not happy I forced you to have 2 cats because I'm an impulsive shit and I know I told you I won't do it again but now let's have a puppy too he's going to be bigger than me when he'll be grown up but hey he's cute”

 **LanceyLance :** Yeah do that !

 **Gaylien :** Ugh

 **Mom :** Don't just go home with him, I don't think Shiro would approve

 **Gaylien :** THAT'S THE PROBLEM

 **Acethetics :** Wait I actually have an idea

 **Gaylien :** My savior

 

**Disaster squad**

**Acethetics :** Hey Shiro what are you thoughts on dogs

 **Gaylien :** You're not helping Pidge

 **SpaceDad :** Please don't tell me Keith found a dog he wants to keep.

 

**Protect Kosmo 2k18**

**Gaylien :** ABORT THE MISSION I REPEAT ABORT THE MISSION

 **LanceyLance :** Well that's done

 **Acethetics :** :)

 **Gaylien :** Gremlin

 **Acethetics :** (ᴗ‿ᴗ✿)

 

**Disaster squad**

**SpaceDad :** Guys ?

 **SpaceDad :** I don't like this silence.

 **Gaylien :** That's exactly what happened.

 **Gaylien :** I'm sorry.

 **LanceyLance :** His name is Kosmo !! I named him.

 **Gaymer :** He's really cute

 **TeaTeam :** I don't really like dogs but he's elegant.

 **Acethetics :** And so tiny !!

 **SpaceDad :** We already have 2 cats, Keith, that's a lot of responsibilities

 **Acethetics :** Bae Bae and Green get along well !

 **Mattematics :** They really do

**Gaylien send [7 photos]**

**Gaylien :** He won't leave me

 **Gaylien :** … And I don't want to leave him either

 **Gaylien :** … Shiro ?

 **SpaceDad :** FINE, but we're taking him at the vet before adopting him

 **Gaylien :** I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

 **SpaceDad :** I just hope I'm not going to regret it

 **Gaylien :** Do you regret adopting the cats

 **SpaceDad :** … No

 **LanceyLance :** Then it's settled !!

 **LanceyLance :** I want to pet Kosmo so much

 **LanceyLance :** His fur looks so soft

 **Lesbabe :** It really is

 

**The adults™**

**SpaceDad :** I couldn't say no to him.

 **TeaTeam :** That's true love.

 **Mattematics :** Would you say yes if Pidge and I wanted to adopt caterpillars

 **SpaceDad :** Matt what the f*ck

 **Mattematics :** You're censoring fuck I KNEW IT

 **SpaceDad :** You're an adult Matt you do what you want

 **Mattematics :** So I can hack the government and send them memes nice

 **SpaceDad :** I take that back you're still a kid who needs adult supervision

 

**Protect Kosmo 2k18**

**Gaylien :** Well now we don't need it anymore

**Gaylien deleted the group chat Protect Kosmo 2k18**

 

**Disaster squad**

**Gaylien :** By the way how was MnM

 **Gaylien :** Did you win ?

 **Corn :** They sure did !

 **LanceyLance :** It was really fun

 **LanceyLance :** And I got to save the princess ;)

 **Gaylien :** … Princess

 **Acethetics :** You were the princess.

 **Gaylien :** Seriously

 **Mom :** Yup. Seriously

 **Gaylien :** That wasn't what I had in mind when I said I wanted to be a NPC but ok I guess

 **Shiro :** I died. Twice.

 **TeaTeam :** We told you not to be a paladin, Shiro

 **LanceyLance :** (Spoiler alert : He didn't listen to us.)

 **Gaylien :** Not surprised

 **Acethetics :** Lance's character was so emo I thought it was you

 **Gaylien :** Wow now he's stealing my looks

 **LanceyLance :** THAT'S NOT TRUE

 **Acethetics :** That's his character

**Acethetics send [1 photo]**

**Gaylien :** Beware Lance you're going to grown a mullet if you continue like that

 **LanceyLance :** omg

 

**McClain McClan**

**LanceyLance :** Mama I need an appointment at the hairdresser's

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that was fast-


	22. Spider

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haircut, spider, Spirited Away, bike discussion, Kosmo being a good boy, and Klance being gay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith : Gaylien  
> Lance : Lanceylance  
> Hunk : Mom  
> Pidge : Acethetics  
> Shiro : SpaceDad  
> Matt : Mattematics  
> Allura : TeaTeam  
> Shay : Shyshay  
> Coran : Corn  
> Romelle : Lesbabe  
> Bandor : Gaymer  
> Te-Osh : Tea-Osh  
> Olia : Oliander  
> Rolo : Rololympic  
> Rosa (MamaMcClain) : Mamcclain  
> Basilio (PapaMcClain) : Papclain  
> Veronica : EvilV  
> Rachel :  
> Luis : MeanL  
> Marco : Carko  
> Lisa : 
> 
> Disaster squad : Keith, Lance, Hunk, Pidge, Shiro, Matt, Allura, Shay, Coran, Romelle, Bandor  
> Coffee team + Allura : Keith, Shiro, Pidge, Matt, Allura  
> The adults™ : Shiro, Matt, Allura  
> School memers : Lance, Hunk, Pidge  
> High school hell : Keith, Lance, Hunk, Pidge, Shay  
> Quantum Abyss : Keith, Romelle, Bandor  
> Operation Klance : Hunk, Pidge, Matt, Allura, Shay, Shiro, Romelle, Bandor  
> Team Voltron : Shiro, Keith, Hunk, Lance, Pidge  
> Conspiracy buddies : Pidge, Keith, Romelle  
> Paladin's mess : Allura, Coran, Matt, Shiro, Keith, Pidge, Olia, Te-Osh, Rolo  
> McClain McClan : Lance, Veronica, Rachel, Luis, Marco, Lisa, Rosa, Basilio

**Disaster squad**

**LanceyLance send [2 photos]**

**LanceyLance :** Your boy got an haircut

**Gaylien :** I,, I don't recognize you is it really you

**Acethetics :** Yes it is

**TeaTeam :** That suits you, Lance !

**Mom :** Ow, an undercut ?

**LanceyLance :** Yep that's nice with curly hair so I won't have to straighten it every morning anymore

**Gaymer :** Wow you look like Leandro in Voltron Defenders of Tomorrow

**Gaylien :** Damn boy you look amazing

**Lesbabe :** He's almost drooling.

**Gaylien :** I AM NOT

**Gaymer :** Uh-uh

**Acethetics :** KICK

**Mattematics :** KICK

**Gaylien :** DO YOU WANT TO FUCKING FIGHT HOLT(S)

**Mom :** CHILDREN NO MORE FIGHT

**SpaceDad :** Keith, stop fighting every moving thing on this planet, thank you.

**Gaylien :** :(

 

**Disaster squad**

**Gaylien send [26 photos]**

**Gaylien :** As promised, photos of the week end

**Acethetics :** As I said, demon

**Gaylien :** :)

**Acethetics :** While you were busy being social, I studied the robot

**Acethetics send [3 photos]**

**Acethetics :** Meet Rover 2.0

**Gaylien :** Nice

**Gaylien :** That mean we can prank other teachers

**SpaceDad :** No you can't.

**Mattematics :** Yes you can. Do it.

**Lesbabe :** I loved the last one.

**Gaymer :** I don't want to know what the last one was about.

 

**Disaster squad**

**Gaymer :** I can't believe

**Lesbabe :** He was supposed to kill the spider not adopt it

**SpaceDad :** He what

**Gaylien :** BUT SHE'S ADORABLE

**Acethetics :** She ?

**Gaylien send [2 photos]**

**Gaylien :** Do you really want me to kill her

**LanceyLance :** Is this a spider on your fuckING HAND

**LanceyLance :** KILL IT I HATE SPIDERS

**Gaylien :** :(

**Lesbabe :** He put the spider on a leaf outside

**Gaylien :** :(

**LanceyLance :** Turn that frown upside down

**Gaylien :** ):

**LanceyLance :** Listen here you little shit-

**Acethetics :** Reflect that frown along its vertical axis

**Gaylien :** Fight the power :(

**LanceyLance :** :(

**Gaylien :** :)

**LanceyLance :** :)

 

**Operation Klance**

**Acethetics :** ARE THEY AWARE OF HOW PAINFUL THEY ARE TO US

**SpaceDad :** I don't think so

**Mattematics :** They're so dense

 

**Gaylien > LanceyLance**

**Gaylien :** So we went to a lot of cool places right

**LanceyLance :** Aw, did you miss me ?

**Gaylien :** Shush

**Gaylien :** I wanted to buy you something

**Gaylien :** Because I like you very much

**LanceyLance :** <3

**Gaylien :** <3

**Gaylien :** When I was at yours I couldn't help but notice you have plants in your house

**Gaylien :** and we went to that plants shop and I bought a cactus for myself and there was this cute nano marimos and it reminded me of you so here it is

**Gaylien send [2 photos]**

**Gaylien :** I named it Sen

**LanceyLance :** Omg this is so CUTE

**Gaylien :** I know right

**LanceyLance :** This is a tiny water-moss-ball omg

**LanceyLance :** I absolutely love it. Thanks, babe  <3

**Gaylien :** You're welcome <3

**LanceyLance :** Why Sen tho ?

**Gaylien :** Well it looked like the weird medicine thing the water spirit gave to Sen in Spirited Away and the spirit didn't have a name so Sen it is

**Gaylien :** … You saw Spirited Away didn't you

**LanceyLance :** Does that mean we're going to watch it together when you're home ?

**Gaylien :** YES

**LanceyLance :** Even if I already saw it ?

**Gaylien :** … Yes.

**LanceyLance :** That's a date then  <3

 

**Gaylien > SpaceDad**

**Gaylien :** By the way remember our last prank war

**SpaceDad :** My hair remember.

**Gaylien :** We said winners can ask for whatever they want from the losers

**SpaceDad :** I already said yes for your dog, Keith

**Gaylien :** Yes but did you know that gay knifes exist ?

**SpaceDad :** What now

**Gaylien :** Rainbow knifes.

**SpaceDad :** [sigh] I guess I can buy you that.

**Gaylien :** Thank you  <3

 

**Disaster squad**

**Gaylien :** I almost missed the train but

**Gaylien :** [hacker voice] I'm in

**Acethetics :** Hey !

**Acethetics :** I'M the hacker voice here !

**SpaceDad :** I'll see you later then

**SpaceDad :** Did you enjoy yourself ?

**Gaylien :** That was amazing

**Gaylien :** I bought a new cactus AND now I have a dog

**SpaceDad :** And you saw your friends

**Gaylien :** Yeah, that too

**Lesbabe :** Hey !

**Gaymer :** :o

**Gaylien :** ¯\\_( ツ)_/¯

 

**SpaceDad > Gaylien**

**SpaceDad :** You know I was thinking

**Gaylien :** Does that mean good news or bad news

**SpaceDad :** Shut up and let me finish

**SpaceDad :** So you know how I get flashbacks when I go in a car

**Gaylien :** Yeah, that's why I usually drive you to work on my bike because motorcycles don't trigger your PTSD. Why ?

**SpaceDad :** Well I thought maybe I could get a motorcycle license so you won't have to drive me every morning and every night and when you're not here I won't have to walk because I'm walking right now but I'm also very tired

**SpaceDad :** And yeah I love when you drive me home but I can't always count on my little bro especially when he already has to drive Pidge

**Gaylien :** Y'know I wanted to tell you that a while ago but I forgot so yeah that's a good idea

**Gaylien :** And I already talked to Allura and Matt about that so do NOT buy yourself a bike or I'll strangle you

**SpaceDad :** Oh,, Ok

**SpaceDad :** Does that mean you already bought one

**Gaylien :** No but you did so much to me I want to choose one for you

**Gaylien :** I promise it won't be ridiculous

**SpaceDad :** Do I have to be worried

**Gaylien :** Of course not :)

 

**Gaylien > LanceyLance**

**Gaylien :** Hey

**Gaylien :** Psst

**Gaylien :** Lance

**LanceyLance :** Hm ?

**Gaylien :** Do you want to see Kosmo before everyone else

**Gaylien :** Because if you do and one of your parents can come get me to the train station I'll appreciate if you come get me and then we watch Spirited Away

**Gaylien :** At your house or mine I don't care

**Gaylien :** If not I'll ask Allura to come get me it's no big deal-

**LanceyLance :** Nope don't ask Allura Veronica's driving us

**LanceyLance :** We're going at your house tho because my house is one of teasing and Kosmo has to meet Black  & Red

**Gaylien :** Nice, see you later  <3

**LanceyLance :** See you  <3

 

**Team Voltron**

**Gaylien :** Red  & Black meet Kosmo

**Gaylien :** Black sniffed him then went back to sleep

**Gaylien send [2 photos]**

**Gaylien send [1 video]**

**Gaylien :** I'm not sure what they're doing but I think Red just challenged Kosmo ?

**LanceyLance :** Well that could have gone worse

**Acethetics :** Let them a few days and they'll be best friends

**LanceyLance :** Kosmo seems to already consider them as best friends tbh

 

 

**Operation Klance**

**SpaceDad :** So Klance are cuddling and watching Spirited Away with Kosmo and Red sleeping on Keith's lap everything's normal

**Acethetics :** PICS

**TeaTeam :** I thought I had to pick him up at the railway station ?

**SpaceDad :** Apparently Lance's sister picked him up.

**SpaceDad :** And of course Lance came with her

**Mattematics :** Shiro, pics

**SpaceDad :** They'll kill me if I take photos when they're like that

**Lesbabe :** No

**Lesbabe :** Keith won't try to move if the pets are sleeping on his lap. He's far to gone for that.

**SpaceDad send [2 photos]**

**SpaceDad :** Keith didn't even saw me wtq

**Shyshay :** wtq ?

**Corn :** What the quiznack

**Mattematics :** Because Shiro absolutely don't swear in front of children

**Acethetics :** I'm not a kid !

**Mattematics :** Fight me Holt

**Acethetics :** Bring it on Holt

**Mom :** KIDS I SAID NO MORE FIGHTS

**SpaceDad :** You both are kids.

 

**Operation Klance**

**SpaceDad send [3 photos]**

**SpaceDad :** Do I wake them up ?

**TeaTeam :** Omg that's adorable. Don't wake them

**Acethetics :** That's so gay

**Gaymer :** Don't wake Keith if you don't want to get punched/stabbed

 

 


	23. Space mall !!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Serious questions, tiny snakes, an old man, and SPACE MALL

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith : Gaylien  
> Lance : Lanceylance  
> Hunk : Mom  
> Pidge : Acethetics, DetectivePidgeon  
> Shiro : SpaceDad, OldMan  
> Matt : Mattematics  
> Allura : TeaTeam  
> Shay : Shyshay  
> Coran : Corn  
> Romelle : Lesbabe  
> Bandor : Gaymer  
> Te-Osh : Tea-Osh  
> Olia : Oliander  
> Rolo : Rololympic  
> Rosa (MamaMcClain) : Mamcclain  
> Basilio (PapaMcClain) : Papclain  
> Veronica : EvilV  
> Rachel :  
> Luis : MeanL  
> Marco : Carko  
> Lisa : 
> 
> Disaster squad : Keith, Lance, Hunk, Pidge, Shiro, Matt, Allura, Shay, Coran, Romelle, Bandor  
> Coffee team + Allura : Keith, Shiro, Pidge, Matt, Allura  
> The adults™ : Shiro, Matt, Allura  
> School memers : Lance, Hunk, Pidge  
> High school hell : Keith, Lance, Hunk, Pidge, Shay  
> Quantum Abyss : Keith, Romelle, Bandor  
> Operation Klance : Hunk, Pidge, Matt, Allura, Shay, Shiro, Romelle, Bandor  
> Team Voltron : Shiro, Keith, Hunk, Lance, Pidge  
> Conspiracy buddies : Pidge, Keith, Romelle  
> Paladin's mess : Allura, Coran, Matt, Shiro, Keith, Pidge, Olia, Te-Osh, Rolo  
> McClain McClan : Lance, Veronica, Rachel, Luis, Marco, Lisa, Rosa, Basilio

**Disaster squad**

**LanceyLance :** Is there someone still up ?? I have a very important question

 **Acethetics :** What's up

 **LanceyLance :** If butterflies fall in love, do they have human in their stomach ?

 **Acethetics :** What the fuck

 **LanceyLance :** No this is a real question

 **Acethetics :** I don't know Lance, I was never a butterfly, I can't tell you

 **LanceyLance :** Damn

 **SpaceDad :** Language

 **LanceyLance :** Did you just woke up to tell me to watch my language

 **Acethetics :** Yes he did.

 

**Disaster squad**

**LanceyLance :** Seriously if you give tea to a plant, is this cannibalism

 **Acethetics :** Seriously Lance go to sleep

 **LanceyLance :** But what if

 **Acethetics :** Yeah what if you go to bed

 **SpaceDad :** I'll never thought I'll say that one day, but I agree with Pidge.

 

**Disaster squad**

**LanceyLance :** I slept on the couch because of Keith and now I look like shit

 **LanceyLance :** I forgot I had class today

 **LanceyLance :** This is all Keith's fault

 **LanceyLance :** So I'm cuddling Red

 **LanceyLance :** Because of course Kosmo went running with him and Shiro

 **LanceyLance :** At least Red loves me

 **Acethetics :** I thought she hated you

 **LanceyLance :** :o You wound me, Pidgeon

 **LanceyLance :** I'll have you know that Red loves me

 **LanceyLance :** Keith just happened to have taught her to bite me

 **LanceyLance :** That's not the same thing

 **Acethetics :** … Yeah. Sure.

 **Acethetics :** Does that mean you're going to school with Keith ?

 **LanceyLance :** Yeah

 **Acethetics :** Shit I hate when Matt drives me to school

 **Mattematics :** Hey ! I'm a responsible driver

 **Acethetics :** The music you listen to while driving isn't responsible.

 **Acethetics :** Who watch vines compilations in a car anyway ??

 **LanceyLance :** Matt I admire you

 **Mom :** Who lets Matt drives

 **SpaceDad :** Who gave Matt a driving license

 **Mattematics :** Hey !! :(

 **TeaTeam :** Shiro appears just to roast Matt

 **SpaceDad :** Actually it's because Keith felt on his face and I wanted to post a pic but yeah I guess

 **SpaceDad :** I love roasting my bf  <3

 **Mattematics :** :(

 **ShyShay :** Shiro, you can't just say that and not post said pic

 **Acethetics :** If you don't post it I'll hack your phone to have it anyway

**SpaceDad send [1 photo]**

**SpaceDad :** He's still on the ground because Kosmo sat on his back.

 **LanceyLance :** That's what he get for making me sleep on the couch

 **Lesbabe :** WHAT THE FREAK DOQISJPOWKLMDZQSX THIS IS SO GOOD THANK YOU

 **ShyShay :** She was lurking

 **Lesbabe :** Nah I just woke up to make fun of Keith I'm going back to bed now

 **Acethetics :** Friendship goals

 **LanceyLance :** You do that too Pidge

 **Acethetics :** Yeah I know I'm goals 8)

 **SpaceDad :** I think Kosmo decided he wanted to sleep on Keith

 **SpaceDad :** I'm very tempted to just let him here and go home

 **Mattematics :** Welcome to the dark side

 **LanceyLance :** Who will drive me to school if you abandon him here

 **Gaylien :** I hate y'all

 **Gaylien :** Betrayed by my own family

 **Gaylien :** SHIRO YOU ASSHOLE COME BACK HERE

 **Gaylien :** HE FREAKING LEFT ME HERE

 **Acethetics :** This is so sad alexa play despacito

 **Gaylien :** I came out to have a good time and I'm honestly feeling so attacked right now

 

**Disaster squad**

**LanceyLance :** Guess who's late for school now

 **Gaylien :** Really it's all Shiro's fault

 **LanceyLance :** So we're skipping first class

 **Gaylien :** See you later losers

 **SpaceDad :** YOU ARE NOT SKIPPING CLASS

 **SpaceDad :** KEITH

 **SpaceDad :** DON'T LEAVE ME ON READ

 **SpaceDad :** Teen these days …

 **Acethetics :** Old man

**Acethetics changed SpaceDad's name to OldMan**

**OldMan :** I'm not old

 **Mattematics :** Yeah Pidge, he's 6

 **OldMan :** I'm getting bullied

 **Acethetics :** >:)

 **LanceyLance :** I'm pretty sure you already made this joke at least twice

 **Acethetics :** It never gets old

 **Mattematics :** Not like Shiro

 **OldMan :** :(

 

**Disaster squad**

**Gaylien :** I just saw the cutest video EVER

 **Acethetics :** Kitbull ?

 **Gaylien :** No,, cuter than kitbull

 **LanceyLance :** Lies

 **Gaylien :** It's the video of a tiny tired snake who gives a big yawn before retiring to its pocket

 **Gaylien :** THAT WAS SO CUTE

 **LanceyLance :** I can't believe you

 **Gaylien :** So cute, Lance. So. Cute.

 **Gaylien :** Shiro I want a snake now

 **OldMan :** You're the reason I have grey hair, Keith.

 

**Disaster squad**

**Acethetics :** OH I FORGOT

 **Acethetics :** We're all going to the mall after class and no one can escape it

 **LanceyLance :** YEEEES SPACE MALL EXPEDITION

 **Gaylien :** Space mall ?

 **Mom :** Don't question it.

 **LanceyLance :** Everything is cooler when it's in space

 **LanceyLance :** Get it ? Because space's cold

 **Gaylien :** That was

 **Gaylien :** Actually a good one, Lance

 **LanceyLance :** Yeah I know, I'm amazing like that 8)

 **Gaylien :** You sure are

 **Mom :** I can't tell if it was sarcasm or not

 **Gaylien :** Me neither tbh

 **Mom :** But you're the one who said that … ?

 **Gaylien :** Yeah I know I don't make sense sometimes

 **Gaylien :** :/

 **OldMan :** I'm gonna assume that you're all in class right now ?

 **Mom :** Yes, father, pardon me for I have sinned

 **Gaylien :** It's not class if the teacher's a dick

 **LanceyLance :** He's reading my mind wow

 **Gaylien :** >:)

 **OldMan :** Hunk, you're excused, klance, you're grounded

 **LanceyLance :** You can't !!

 **Gaylien :** -gay gasp-

 **Gaylien :** Wait what's a klance again ?

 **LanceyLance :** That's our ship name

 **Gaylien :** O...k ?

 **Gaylien :** Oh wait

 **Gaylien :** I thought ship as in a boat

 **Gaylien :** Yeah that makes sense

 **OldMan :** Pay attention, Keith

 **Gaylien :** You're not my dad

 **OldMan :** Keith …

 **Gaylien :** Fine. But it's only because I want to and not because I can sense the dad stare through the phone !!

 **OldMan :** You ain't fooling anyone, Keith

 

**Disaster squad**

**Acethetics :** MALL MALL MALL

 **Acethetics :** GET OVER THERE LOOSERS

 **Mattematics :** Have you thought about those poor souls who have to WORK

 **Acethetics :** Nah

 **OldMan :** -sigh- I'll keep an eye on them, I guess

 **TeaTeam :** Tank you, Shiro ! If you want to go too, Matt, I can give you the afternoon off.

 **Acethetics :** Tank you

 **LanceyLance :** Tank you

 **Mattematics :** Tank you

 **TeaTeam :** Nevermind you're working

 **Mattematics :** :O

 **Mattematics** **:** .·´¯`( >▂<)´¯`·.

 **TeaTeam :** I drink tears for breakfast.

 **Gaylien :** I'll buy you something Matt if you want

 **Acethetics :** Like tissues

 **Mattematics :** Rude :'(

 **Acethetics :** ANYWAY GUYS MALL

 

**Operation Klance**

**Acethetics :** That was … Suspicious.

 **Lesbabe :** What happened ?

 **Acethetics :** We were waiting for klance to arrive before going to the mall

 **Mom :** And when they showed up (after everyone else), their hair was a mess and they were grinning like idiots

 **Acethetics :** I smell klance in the air

 **Acethetics :** We need to get to the bottom of this

 **Lesbabe :** THEY WERE MAKING OUT

 **Lesbabe :** THERE IS NO OTHER EXPLANATION

 **Mattematics :** Let's not jump to conclusions

 **Mattematics :** We have to launch an investigation

**Acethetics change their name to DetectivePidgeon**

**DetectivePidgeon :** Luckily for us, we have a plan

 **ShyShay :** Everything's ready, Cap'tain Pidge !

 **DetectivePidgeon :** Let's do this pals

 

**Disaster squad**

**LanceyLance :** What the fuck just happened

 **Lesbabe :** WHAT HAPPENED

 **Gaylien :** They handcuffed us and left us alone at the mall

 **Gaylien :** EVEN SHIRO WAS WITH THEM

 **TeaTeam :** Enjoy your daaate ! ~  <3

 **Gaylien :** … Tank you.

 **TeaTeam :** Sleep with one eye open, Kogane

 

**LanceyLance > Gaylien**

**LanceyLance :** I guess we'll have to talk here now

 **Gaylien :** Why ? We can just, you now, talk ?

 **Gaylien :** With our mouths ?

 **LanceyLance :** I know Pidge. They're probably spying on us somewhere.

 **Gaylien :** Lance.

 **Gaylien :** I speak spanish, you speak spanish, they don't speak spanish.

 **LanceyLance :** Oh

 **LanceyLance :** OH

 **LanceyLance :** You're a genius, babe

 

**Operation klance**

**DetectivePidgeon :** THEY'RE TALKING IN SPANISH I DON'T UNDERSTAND SHIT

 **DetectivePidgeon :** It seems our preys are smarter than we thought ...

 **Mom :** At least they're holding hands

**Mom send [3 photos]**

**Gaymer :** You know it really looks like they're dating but just didn't tell us

 **DetectivePidgeon :** Nah, they wouldn't do that

 **DetectivePidgeon :** …

 **DetectivePidgeon :** … Or would they ?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the video Keith talks about : https://youtu.be/o50iFU7TuzI  
> Yeah I'm still alive !! I just had a lot of exams but I finally have a week of vacation ! Aha. I don't know when the next chapter will come, btw. We'll see I guess ! BUT the fic's not abandoned ! Don't worry ! I'm just slow aha


	24. The brogane's famous cooking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Knife fight, cooking, and drama

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith : Gaylien  
> Lance : Lanceylance  
> Hunk : Mom  
> Pidge : Acethetics, DetectivePidgeon  
> Shiro : OldMan, Kuron  
> Matt : Mattematics  
> Allura : TeaTeam  
> Shay : Shyshay  
> Coran : Corn  
> Romelle : Lesbabe  
> Bandor : Gaymer  
> Te-Osh : Tea-Osh  
> Olia : Oliander  
> Rolo : Rololympic  
> Rosa (MamaMcClain) : Mamcclain  
> Basilio (PapaMcClain) : Papclain  
> Veronica : EvilV  
> Rachel :  
> Luis : MeanL  
> Marco : Carko  
> Lisa : 
> 
> Disaster squad : Keith, Lance, Hunk, Pidge, Shiro, Matt, Allura, Shay, Coran, Romelle, Bandor  
> Coffee team + Allura : Keith, Shiro, Pidge, Matt, Allura  
> The adults™ : Shiro, Matt, Allura  
> School memers : Lance, Hunk, Pidge  
> High school hell : Keith, Lance, Hunk, Pidge, Shay  
> Quantum Abyss : Keith, Romelle, Bandor  
> Operation Klance : Hunk, Pidge, Matt, Allura, Shay, Shiro, Romelle, Bandor  
> Team Voltron : Shiro, Keith, Hunk, Lance, Pidge  
> Conspiracy buddies : Pidge, Keith, Romelle  
> Paladin's mess : Allura, Coran, Matt, Shiro, Keith, Pidge, Olia, Te-Osh, Rolo  
> McClain McClan : Lance, Veronica, Rachel, Luis, Marco, Lisa, Rosa, Basilio

**Disaster squad**

**LanceyLance :** Guys we have a problem

**Gaylien :** A we-need-extraction-asap kind of problem

**OldMan :** What happened, this time ?

**Mom :** Why do I have a bad feeling about this

**Shyshay :** We just saw klance running like crazy, what's happening ?

**LanceyLance :** HUNK

**LanceyLance :** SHAY

**LanceyLance :** HELP US WE'RE GETTING CHASED BY SECURITY

**Mom :** … What the

**Shyshay :** Yep, security guards just asked us if we saw you

**OldMan :** I'm too old for this

**OldMan :** What happened

**LanceyLance :** What happened ? WHAT HAPPENED ?

**LanceyLance :** MULLET MAN HERE JUST GOT INTO A KNIFE FIGHT WITH A KNIFE SHOP OWNER AND NOW WE'RE RUNNING FOR OUR LIVES

**Gaylien :** At least I'm not the one who spent 3 hour in a fountain stealing coins to buy a game

**LanceyLance :** It's not stealing if the person threw the coin away !!

**DetectivePidgeon :** That would explain a lot, actually

**DetectivePidgeon :** Like why your faces are suddenly in the mall's blacklist

**Gaylien :** When the fuck did that happen they don't even know our names ??

**DetectivePidgeon :** Worry not, my dear friend, for I have the power of faith

**LanceyLance :** You're going to hack them, aren't you ?

**DetectivePidgeon :** Wow, look like a certain Sendick and his son/nephew/whatever are now banned from the mall for starting a fight with a knife shop owner !!

**Gaylien :** Thanks Pidge

**DetectivePidgeon :** Now get your asses to the car we're leaving

**Mom :** Shay, Shiro and I are going to stay a little longer. We'll walk, tho

**DetectivePidgeon :** 'K

**OldMan :** I can't believe y'all

**Mattematics :** Texas Shiro strikes again

 

**OldMan > Gaylien**

**OldMan :** I'm on my way home with your rainbow knife

**Gaylien :** -gasp- my gay people opener

**OldMan :** Keith, no

**Gaylien :** Keith, yes

**OldMan :** -sigh- What do you want to eat tonight

**Gaylien :** I don't know, propose something

**OldMan :** Pizza ?

**Gaylien :** Nah. We always eat pizza.

**OldMan :** Chinese ?

**Gaylien :** We ate chinese last week already

**OldMan :** I can order something at mcdonald's

**Gaylien :** I don't want to eat fast food right now

**OldMan :** Why do I have a feeling I know when this is going

**Gaylien :** I think it's best if you choose

**OldMan :** 'K.

 

**OldMan > Gaylien**

**OldMan :** Hunk gave me a recipe

**OldMan :** We went to the store to buy what we'll need

**Gaylien :** Shiro, no-

**Gaylien :** Wait, did you said “we” ?

**OldMan :** Yes, I'm counting on my little brother to help me cook tonight

**Gaylien :** Shiro, I love you but this is a horrible idea

**Gaylien :** We suck at cooking

**OldMan :** We'll never learn if we don't try !

**OldMan :** Come on, it'll be fun ! How hard can it be

**Gaylien :** Ugh. Fine.

**Gaylien :** I'm regretting this already.

 

**Disaster squad**

**OldMan :** We may have a problem

**OldMan :** A tiny, tiny problem

**Lesbabe :** Well hello to you too

**TeaTeam :** What's wrong ?

**Acethetics :** Shiro ? Having a problem ? Wow.

**Mattematics :** Shiro ? Having so big of a problem he needs to tell the gc ? Wow.

**OldMan :** Hm

**OldMan :** How to say that

**OldMan :** So Keith and I tried to cook, right

**Mattematics :** Who have food poisoning now

**OldMan :** Nobody's poisoned !!

**OldMan :** But keith has a third degree burn on his cheek

**Acethetics :** Keith has a what now

**Lesbabe :** Excuse me ??

**Gaymer :** What did you do to our boy

**Mom :** … How

**Mom :** How can you burn yourself while making gazpacho

**Mom :** You don't even need heat to make that !!

**OldMan :** We, uh

**OldMan :** Wanted to make french fries with it

**OldMan :** And I had that, like, hot metal stick to turn over the fries in the frying pan, right

**OldMan :** Because we don't have a chip pan

**Acethetics :** Oooh I know where this is going

**OldMan :** And I may have,

**OldMan :** Accidentally,

**OldMan :** Hit him with it

**Corn :** Well that was unexpected.

**TeaTeam :** Oh my god Takashi, what the quiznack

**Mattematics :** I though you said you weren't going to cook anymore after the burnt water accident

**Mom :** I can't even believe

**Mom :** What the holy h*ck, Shiro

**Mom :** I'm never letting them alone in a kitchen anymore.

**Acethetics :** Did Hunk just censure heck

**Lesbabe :** I thought you were the responsible one

**ShyShay :** Is he ok ?

**OldMan :** It was an accident !!

**Corn :** I'm honestly surprised it didn't happen sooner.

**LanceyLance :** Ok I'm doing homework like a good student for once why are you all spamming the gc

**Acethetics :** Read up

**LanceyLance :** Oh

**LanceyLance :** OH MY DOG IS HE OK ? WHERE IS HE ? TELL HIM I'M COMING

**LanceyLance :** *GOD

**Acethetics :** Oh my dog

**LanceyLance :** NOW'S NOT THE MOMENT TO MAKE FUN OF MY TYPOS WHERE IS KEITH

**LanceyLance :** Shiro I'm going to murder you

**OldMan :** He's fine, I think

**OldMan :** We're at the hospital right now.

**OldMan :** He's delirious because of the drugs but hm. He's ok.

**Acethetics changed OldMan's name to Kuron**

**Acethetics :** The real Shiro would never hurt Keith

**Acethetics :** We finally have our final proof for our “Shiro is a clone” theory

**Kuron :** Ok, that fair, but what the f.

**Kuron :** Do you have theories like that on everyone ??

**Acethetics :** Cryptkids never sleep.

**LanceyLance :** My mama's driving me at the hospital we'll be here soon

**Mom :** I'm coming too

**Mom :** Pidge, Matt, need me to pick you up ?

**Acethetics :** Yes please

**Mattematics :** My driving is perfectly safe !!

**ShyShay :** Can you pick me up too ?

**Mom :** Of course !  <3

**Gaymer :** I wish we could be here :(

**Lesbabe :** Tell him we said hi !

**Mom :** Will do !

 

**Operation Klance**

**Acethetics :** THAT'S IT THEY'RE DEFINITELY FUCKING WITH US

**Lesbabe :** What happened ?

**ShyShay :** Oh, blame it on Keith being drugged but they just started making out the moment Lance stepped into the room

**TeaTeam :** To be fair Keith looked like a kicked puppy when Lance stayed too far away from him

**Mattematics :** Keith kissed him the moment Lance came closer

**Mom :** I swear Shiro was throwing daggers at Lance with his eyes

**Mom :** He had to physically pull them apart and Keith started crying

**Mom :** So we let them alone with Shiro while they're cuddling

**TeaTeam send [1 photo]**

**TeaTeam :** Keith refusing to let Lance go

**Acethetics :** I think I can hear Shiro give Lance the shovel talk

**Gaymer :** Why did my sister just yell “klance is canon king”

**Gaymer :** Oh, that's why

**Gaymer :** Well, I'm happy for them

 

**Disaster squad**

**Lesbabe :** YOU FUCKERS HAVE YOU BEEN DATING ALL ALONG

**Lesbabe :** WHAT THE FUCK

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little shorter than usually but eh, at least I made it !


	25. Hospital trip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scar, hospital, muffins and a dropped cactus
> 
> //!\\\ trigger warning : mention of meltdown (based on my own experience), so stay safe !  
> (If you want to skip that part, if starts at "LanceyLance>Gaylien" and ends at "Gaylien>LanceyLance")

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith : Gaylien  
> Lance : Lanceylance  
> Hunk : Mom  
> Pidge : Acethetics  
> Shiro : Kuron  
> Matt : Mattematics  
> Allura : TeaTeam  
> Shay : Shyshay  
> Coran : Corn  
> Romelle : Lesbabe  
> Bandor : Gaymer  
> Te-Osh : Tea-Osh  
> Olia : Oliander  
> Rolo : Rololympic  
> Rosa (MamaMcClain) : Mamcclain  
> Basilio (PapaMcClain) : Papclain  
> Veronica : EvilV  
> Luis : MeanL  
> Marco : Carko
> 
> Disaster squad : Keith, Lance, Hunk, Pidge, Shiro, Matt, Allura, Shay, Coran, Romelle, Bandor  
> Coffee team + Allura : Keith, Shiro, Pidge, Matt, Allura  
> The adults™ : Shiro, Matt, Allura  
> School memers : Lance, Hunk, Pidge  
> High school hell : Keith, Lance, Hunk, Pidge, Shay  
> Quantum Abyss : Keith, Romelle, Bandor  
> Operation Klance : Hunk, Pidge, Matt, Allura, Shay, Shiro, Romelle, Bandor  
> Team Voltron : Shiro, Keith, Hunk, Lance, Pidge  
> Conspiracy buddies : Pidge, Keith, Romelle  
> Paladin's mess : Allura, Coran, Matt, Shiro, Keith, Pidge, Olia, Te-Osh, Rolo  
> McClain McClan : Lance, Veronica, Rachel, Luis, Marco, Lisa, Rosa, Basilio

**Disaster squad**

**Gaylien :** I lived

**Gaylien :** And I have a cool af scar

**Gaylien :** Because of a certain SOMEONE -cough shiro cough-

**Kuron :** I already said I'm sorry !!

**Lesbabe :** ANSWER ME YOU PRICK

**Lesbabe :** ARE YOU DATING LANCE YES OR NO

**Gaylien :** Well hello to you too, yes I'm fine, thanks for asking

**LanceyLance :** Yes we're dating

**Acethetics :** I fucking knew it

**Lesbabe :** WHAT

**Lesbabe :** HOW

**Lesbabe :** WHEN ??

**Gaymer :** I'm happy for you two ! Congrats !

**Lesbabe :** WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US

**Kuron :** Yeah, how did you even managed to keep it away from us ?

**LanceyLance :** That's because we're amazing at keeping secrets 8)

**Corn :** Well, I kinda assumed you were already dating.

**TeaTeam :** Wtf Coran

**TeaTeam :** You were in for the operation klance ??

**Corn :** Oh, I didn't though you were serious

**Corn :** I mean, it was kinda obvious !

**Corn :** You two make a good team !

**LanceyLance :** Excuse me we're the best team

**Gaylien :** We can beat anyone's ass anytime

**Kuron :** Please don't.

**Mattematics :** Well I guess operation klance is a success

**Gaylien :** What's operation klance ??

**LanceyLance :** Yeah what's-

**LanceyLance :** Oh no you didn't

**Acethetics :** yes we did

**Gaylien :** ??

**Acethetics :** But I guess we didn't need it in the end

**Acethetics :** I'm happy for you dorks

**Gaylien :** Wow

**Gaylien :** A rare cryptid made an apparition

**Gaylien :** A emotional Pidgeon

**Acethetics :** (ง'̀-‘́)ง

**TeaTeam :** Anyway

**TeaTeam :** Why didn't you told us ?

**TeaTeam :** Did you not feel safe enough ?

**LanceyLance :** Oh no no no that's not it

**LanceyLance :** We just really wanted it to work and that would have been awkward if it didn't

**Gaylien :** And I kinda liked it that way

**Gaylien :** Being private I mean

**Gaylien :** I'm not a big fan of PDA

**LanceyLance :** And I respect that  <3

**Gaylien :** …  <3

**Acethetics :** Omg what have we done

 

**Kuron >Gaylien**

**Kuron :** Seriously Keith, I'm so sorry

**Gaylien :** Dude

**Gaylien :** It's fine

**Gaylien :** Really

**Gaylien :** It didn't even hurt

**Kuron :** I don't think I can trust your sense of pain

**Kuron :** I remember once you fell off a tree and broke your arm but didn't say anything because “it didn't hurt”

**Gaylien :** Ok that's fair

**Gaylien :** But still, I'm not mad at you

**Gaylien :** But everything's too white and too bright and the beeping machines are horrible can you come back and give me the noise canceling headphones and that thingy you put on your eyes to sleep

**Kuron :** Sure. Do you want your stim toys too ?

**Kuron :** Don't answer that I'm taking them too

**Gaylien :** … Thanks Shiro

**Gaylien :** You're the best brother

**Gaylien :** I mean it

**Kuron :** … Now I'm going to cry

**Kuron :** I love you too shortie  <3

**Gaylien :** I take it back you're the worst

**Kuron :** You looove me ~ **[message have not been delivered]**

**Kuron :** Keith ? **[message have not been delivered]**

**Kuron :** DON'T BLOCK ME YOU LITTLE SHIT- **[message have not been delivered]**

 

**LanceyLance >Gaylien**

**LanceyLance :** Hey  <3

**Gaylien :** What are you doing up

**LanceyLance :** :o Can't I just want to talk to my amazing boyfriend ??  <33

**Gaylien :** yeah yeah I love you too now why are you not sleeping

**LanceyLance :** Why are YOU not sleeping ?

**Gaylien :** The mattress is so uncomfortable and the sheets are sensory hell

**Gaylien :** My skin is on fire I hate it

**LanceyLance :** :O Why didn't you tell me when I came by ?? I would have brought you a blanket !

**Gaylien :** It's fine

**LanceyLance :** It clearly isn't

**Gaylien :** I'll live

**Gaylien :** the floor is more comfy anyway

**Gaylien :** But the nurses won't stop trying to put me back in bed and if they touch me one more time I'm going to cry

**LanceyLance :** I'm calling you

**LanceyLance :** Do you think they would let me visit you in the middle of the night ?

**Gaylien :** I doubt it

**LanceyLance :** Nevermind I'm coming by the window and you won't stop me

**LanceyLance :** I'm taking blankets too

**Gaylien :** … Thanks

**Gaylien :** But the window's too small

**LanceyLance :** I'll manage

**Gaylien :** I'm on the 3 rd floor

**LanceyLance :** I'll find a way don't worry  <3

**LanceyLance :** Can I call ? If you're non verbal or if sound is too much right now we can just continue texting

**Gaylien :** Please call

**Call started [01:21 am]**

**Call ended [01:43am]**

**Gaylien :** Wait right here I'm sneaking outside

**LanceyLance :** Aww my mullet ninja bf  <3

 

**Gaylien >LanceyLance**

**Gaylien :** Thank you

**LanceyLance :** You're welcome starlight  <3

**LanceyLance :** You can always tell me if you need something !

**Gaylien :** Same goes for you

**LanceyLance :** Honestly I'm just surprised you managed to get out of the hospital without anyone noticing

**Gaylien :** It's easier than it looks

**Gaylien :** The nurses don't spend their time in the hallways and I was friend with Pidge long enough to learn how to hack automatic doors

**LanceyLance :** … How

**Gaylien :** I think you should ask her, I'm bad at explaining stuff

**Gaylien :** But if you want we can still go to the space mall when it's closed and I'll show you

**Gaylien :** It's really just an app Pidge put on my phone anyway but still

 

**LanceyLance :** That's why I love you

**Gaylien :** Because I'm reckless ?

**LanceyLance :** Because we're both reckless little shits

**LanceyLance :** It's a date  <3

**Gaylien :** <3

 

**Disaster squad**

**Gaylien :** I'm finally free

**LanceyLance :** Did they let you out of the hospital ?

**Gaylien :** Yes

**Gaylien :** I want a celebration muffin

**Mom :** I got you covered

**Mom :** Also congrats for you and Lance !! I wish you all the happiness in the world !

**Gaylien :** We don't deserve you

**Gaylien :** You're too good for this world

**LanceyLance :** ^

**Acethetics :** ^^

**ShyShay :** ^^^  <3

**Kuron :** ^^^^

**Mattematics :** ^^^^^

**Corn :** ^^^^^^

**TeaTeam :** ^^^^^^^

**Lesbabe :** ^^^^^^^^

**Gaymer :** ^^^^^^^^^

**Mom :** Aww thanks guys  <3

**Mom :** I'll be at the brogayne house with muffins in 20 minutes !

**Kuron :** Door's unlocked

**Kuron :** Everybody's welcome

**Lesbabe :** Aw I want a muffin too :(

**Mom :** I'm sorry Romelle !! I'll give you as many muffins as you want if you come visit us one day !!

**Lesbabe :** !!! :D

 

**Disaster squad**

**Kuron :** Bad news : I dropped a cactus

**Gaylien :** SHIRO

**Kuron :** Worse news : I caught it

**Gaylien :** … You ok ?

**Kuron :** Only my right hand is

**Gaylien :** You don't have a right hand

**Kuron :** Did I fucking stutter

 

**Team Voltron**

**Gaylien :** I missed them so much

**Gaylien send [6 photos]**

**Gaylien :** My babies

**LanceyLance :** Aaaaw they're so cute

**Acethetics :** Seriously how do you get your cats to stay still I can never take a picture of Green that is not blurry

**Gaylien :** Well Black is always really calm

**Kuron :** When Red becomes crazy Kosmo likes to lick her head and after than she stop running around and just

**Kuron :** Look at us like that

**Kuron send [1 photo]**

**Acethetics :** Pfffft how does her fur stand up like that ??

**Mom :** She looks so pissed and pleased at the same time how does she do that

**Gaylien :** ¯\\_( ツ)_/¯ cats

 

**High school hell**

**Gaylien :** I'm going to punch the next person who ask me about by cheek omg why do they all assume I killed someone

**LanceyLance :** I'm going to punch the next person who think you hurt someone because you're the sweetest boy I know and fuck them

**Mom :** No, no punching

**Mom :** I'm going to give them a cookie

**Mom :** and if they complain about stomachache it won't be my fault :))

**ShyShay :** omg they made Hunk mad

**Acethetics :** They're gonna have a bad time

**Gaylien :** buidojspoxkwml thanks

**ShyShay :** What do you tell them when they ask anyway ?

**Gaylien :** I got attacked by an evil clone of my brother who was under the control of an evil witch

**ShyShay :** … Why did I ask

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not dead yet !! lol  
> I have big exams in june so don't expect me to post a lot- I mean it doesn't change a lot from usual but still u.u Thank you for all of you who still read !! You're the best


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